Had a shitty night last night. I was anxious for most of it. Tom thinks it’s because I was on nights, even though that’s not the only factor, which is why I don’t always have anxiety at night. I’m just wondering how many more fucking years I’m gonna have to deal with this shit. Maybe it really is for life. So far so good today, but I decided last night that I would cut my waiting time to a half-hour today in case there’s any connection.

Still no contact of any kind from Doc A, and I’m now thinking that she simply accepted my friend request as a kind gesture. I don’t think she’s reading my posts. She never viewed my story and unless she’s hiding, I don’t see her state on my blog visitor report. She has hundreds of friends, so I’m guessing even if half of them weren’t very active, there’s still no way she’s gonna catch every single thing that comes in. If she can run around for hours at a time, she could have made the time to contact me, so now I at least know why she accepted the request as surprising as it still is. My guess is that I’ll never hear from her.

It took 15 miles, but I’m now 1% through my cross-country trip. Looks like I’m gonna be going by Neverland Ranch.

Later…

I’m making a pork tenderloin roast right now. Remembering that the recipe called for about a pound of meat, I looked at all the meat I had on the cutting board and thought to myself, that looks like a hell of a lot more than a pound of meat. Sure enough, the package said 2.5 pounds, so I’m only using half of it this time.

My HR went up and I started feeling wired and anxious but then after I got done cooking I realized I was calm. It’s like cooking is oddly calming. Especially a complex recipe like this that took a lot of ingredients, measuring, and thinking to make the juice the meat sits in as well as the rub. Beforehand, I said fuck it, I’m only waiting half an hour tomorrow. Yet I won’t decide that for sure until I see how the rest of my day goes. 10 minutes from now I could be wound up again.

The doc sure spends a lot of time on Facebook. Or at least appears to. I still don’t get how the hell you have time to be a doctor, run marathons, raise three kids, and then have time for social media. Either way, she hasn’t checked out my Facebook “story,” nor has she appeared to check out my blog unless she’s a hider. So I would say she’s not interested in my stuff or actually following me and taking note of anything I post. Still a little surprised she accepted the invite. I wonder if I’ll ever hear from her or if she’ll ever react to any of my stuff, but if I don’t, that’s OK. I don’t mind her sitting there silently observing… Or not observing.

She is married too. I didn’t think she was because I never saw a ring on her finger. It’s to some white guy from Eureka. They both seem to be as liberal as I am. Pro-choice, pro-equality, etc.

Dick and Irma went somewhere overnight the other night, but they’re back now. I’m sure they’ve been honking in and out across the street. I’m also sure the motorcycle is going to be used anytime now since it’s been 10 days.

I created a trip from Sacramento to Tampa. It’s 2978 miles and will no doubt take months! It ought to be a lot of fun though. That is provided there are no issues along the way. I was going to do CH to here but it had trouble understanding me and the only way I can create rides easily enough is to do it on the headset using speech-to-text.