I was having so much fun sharing pics from my various trips on VZfit but lately, they’re not transferring over. There always has to be a fucking issue. I guess it’s no biggie, though, because I’m doing it to exercise and not to share pics, but it was a nice bonus. I was getting sick of having to transfer them one at a time too. You would think these things would be simpler, but apparently not. Anyway, I’m only gonna do 10 miles a day on my trip so I can do other trips in between for variety. There are a million miles of boring Nevada desert with nothing much to see but the same old stuff. This is a very ugly-looking desert compared to the Sonoran and Mojave deserts.

I jump back and forth between Chicago Med and new Lifetime movies and in the latest episode of Chicago Med, there was a young woman who didn’t know that her own mother had her sterilized as a teen because she was promiscuous and they were poor. The mother didn’t want the daughter to end up in her shoes. Apparently, this was legal to do in some states up until 1973. The daughter thought she had an appendectomy.

The first thing that came to mind as I watched this was how my mother would have jumped at the opportunity to have this done to me if she could have, even though I wasn’t with anyone. She never wanted me to have kids. I don’t think it was just that she believed I would be a bad mother. No, I think it went beyond that. It was also about money and her not wanting the burden that grandchildren bring.

The only thing that didn’t make sense in the show was that the woman was too poor to find out why she couldn’t conceive. Well, if she was that poor, how would she afford a kid? I understood the reason this woman sterilized her kid and why my mother would have gladly done it to me if she could snap her fingers and have it done but it’s still wrong. It should always be up to the woman to choose whether or not she does or doesn’t have kids.

I fought all the fighters on the easy round and even beat the champ on Thrill of the Fight. Tomorrow begins the next level up. Tom’s on the endurance round and he’s been cremated by the champ a few times, LOL. He’s going to keep trying. I’m sure it will get tougher and tougher for me as well, even though I’m in better shape, lighter, and have more muscle.

Another nightmare woke me up but I don’t remember what this one was about. I did have a dream that he started a drug for his essential tremors that began with an E. Funny name for it. Why is it “essential” that you tremor?

Unfortunately, I’ve been hit with yet another round of anxiety. I really think it is about the medication. I just can’t believe I’m suddenly anxious about being on nights after I’ve spent nearly half my life on nights. Nor can I believe my hormones are that powerful this late in the game. So what do I do? I cut my waiting time down, of course. At least I’m not skipping. I think I’m always going to have to adjust my waiting time based on how I feel. I’ll get anxious as the stuff ramps up in my bloodstream and less anxious as it drains a little when I wait for only a half-hour instead of an hour before having my coffee. It’s no wonder that I felt so good during the summer. It’s also why I was so exhausted. I would still rather be tired than anxious.

The Russian/Ukrainian war still rages on. It’s easy for me to say that I don’t think it will spark a nuclear war, but what the hell do I know anymore? People can be as unpredictable as they can be predictable. It makes no sense for them to do so, but people don’t always exercise logic in their actions. People do things all the time for no reason. Oh, I’m still sure there will be one. I just think it will be after we’re gone. For now, I don’t think Putin wants to destroy what he wants to take over. If he destroys Ukraine, then it can’t become part of his territory.