OK, I give up. I give up! I totally surrender to whatever the fuck has been cursing my sleep. No more trying to soundproof the bedroom. It’s totally hopeless. No matter where we live, no matter what we do, things always find a way to wake me up. If I was 100% deaf there would suddenly be sonic booms or low-flying helicopters. Or maybe I would have more nightmares and have to get up to pee more often if I didn’t wake up more just because.

Even when nothing is waking me up, I’m having more trouble staying asleep. I don’t know if that’s just an age thing or if it could be connected to the increase in my medication. I don’t think it’s on the medication if I had to guess but if it is, I’ll probably get used to it in time.

But why bother to reinforce windows or dog houses if it’s all worthless anyway? Manufactured homes are practically made of cardboard. First, the fucking mower woke me up. By the time he ran to the window to see which one it was, it was gone. I’m guessing the stand-up. I’m sure that one will be around more often too, just like I’ve been suspecting it will be. I’ll raise the volume of the Sleep Sounds and add an earplug, but I’m sure that during the times I’m sleeping on mowing day, which is about every three weeks, I’ll get woken up no matter what. I don’t think there’s anything that can block the stand-up in this kind of house because it’s just so fucking loud.

I really do have to put more effort into trying to sleep at night only. If I’m going to be tired half of the time anyway, why not? I’m usually up between 16 to 18 hours. So if I set the alarm for 6:00 AM, I’m going to get 6 to 8 hours of sleep even though it’s not literally 6 to 8 hours as I’ve learned. We don’t sleep the entire time we’re in bed. If I crash at midnight and get up at 9, I probably got 7 to 8 hours of sleep. What’s pushing my schedule forward regularly is that I can’t always fall asleep at the same time or get up at the same time. It’s almost always later and later. If I could at least sleep at night during storm season and when they’re mowing more often, that would really help a lot. But now I’m wondering if I’m even going to be able to sleep through the motorcycle anymore when it returns. It’s almost like my bedroom is letting in even more sound as if to punish me for trying to fight it.

The second wake-up call came in the form of thunder. It was loud and continuous for almost 2 hours. This is the way it’s going to be just about every day for months. I’m truly amazed that I’m not more tired than I am. I was actually more tired yesterday. So much so that I didn’t even do any VR time or drink wine. I don’t drink wine when I’m tired for some reason. I tried to stay up until the mowers came, figuring that whatever is cursing my sleep would be sure to have them come late. They usually come between 9:30 and 11:30, but sure enough, I couldn’t hold out past 9 and they came at 11:15. So while I crashed at 9 and got up at 7:45, I didn’t even sleep for 7 hours. So if I listen to my audiobook from 8 to 10 and then sleep from 10 to 6, I’ll probably get 5-6 hours of sleep on average. Hopefully, the time spent lying there listening to audiobooks will help.

I stupidly gave Nature Sounds another chance, but they still stop playing after a while. I don’t understand why the devs won’t do anything to fix the problem. I’m not the only one that’s complained about the cut-outs. I’ll use Sleep Sounds, but the best it will do is drown out little stuff. It’s not going to do anything for loud motors or thunder.

This month’s VZ challenge is to get to know the VZ team by taking guided tours around their neck of the woods. You don’t hear their voices speaking, but there are bubble pop-ups that give you the highlights of the areas. I’m in Eastern MA right now. I don’t miss the winters there, but I miss those spacious houses with breathing room around them! Stuck up or not, I liked Longmeadow. It was Springfield that I hated.

Anyway, I was doing a Thailand trip before the challenges came out. I’ll get back to Thailand after I do these challenges. They’re fun to do, even though I would rather do something useful than just meet the team like planting trees or feeding hungry kids whose poor parents should have been smart enough not to have them, or finding cures for diseases.

Jessie said that even though we’re on opposite sides of the coin where abortion is concerned, she still stands for women’s rights and feels the government has crossed the line (the focus should be on school shootings). But if she doesn’t have control over her own body, what rights does she have that most people don’t already have? Women can vote, work, own property, play sports, and do pretty much the same things everyone else can do. She just doesn’t always have much say over her body, but then most of us don’t. No one asks for sleep disorders, birth defects, or autoimmune diseases, and for a few years In the 90s, I didn’t ask to be exposed to DES.

Still in a good mood, despite the frustration of the sleep issues. I don’t want to be beating on meat while he’s sleeping, but tomorrow I’ll decide whether or not to do the ribs I got in the cast iron skillet or the cooker. I’m thinking I might try the skillet. These are boneless but cheaper. For now, I’m making fried clams and I’m gonna do a veggie stir fry with the garlic parmesan seasoning I got.