I woke up at 8:30 needing to take my meds. I fell back asleep till 11:30.

I just spoke to Mary who said she let Moon Shadow out cuz she was climbing the door to get out.

Mary’s also going to a memorial service for a girlfriend of hers who was killed by her boyfriend in Glendale. She was saying how she wants a guy, but can’t trust them. And I was saying I want a real woman, but they’re all straight.

I am out on my patio now with Moon Shadow.

Later...

OK, now I’ll get through the story once and for all. Stacey accused me of several things I didn’t do as well as petty bullshit I did do. I already mentioned the shit with Ellie. I also played Stacey a message from Ellie which was no different than what she got from me.

Robert also went to Stacey, but that was only due to my complaining about him and turning his propositions down. Cuz I left him some funny messages before all this happened and he got a big kick out of it. Also, like with the calls I gave and got from Ellie, they weren’t pranks in a bad way. Just our usual weird stuff.

The rest of the stuff Stacey had to say was totally ludicrous, telling me something obvious and that’s that she’s got some kind of personal vendetta against me for sure. Everyone else I’ve spoken to agrees with me.

As I wrote before I moved, I came up here to see the place. The girl seemed very nice about it. All her shit was moved out and I wasn’t in her way and was only here two minutes. Apparently, she complained. Why couldn’t the bitch just tell me to leave or not bother to open her door?! What a vindictive little wimp. She didn’t have to show me the place.

The other thing she mentioned was vandalism which I know nothing about. She remained evasive, but Andy and I haven’t thrown eggs or anything. Andy did say, though, that one night he woke up to the sound of glass breaking and thought it was his car. He got up and checked his car which was fine and he didn’t see anything. I never heard any of this and was obviously asleep.

Stacey was also saying people don’t “understand” my friendship and that I’m always trying to get people’s phone numbers in the laundry room and at the pool which is bullshit. Any phone numbers I have were offered to me, and if someone doesn’t want to give me their number, that’s fine. She also mentioned my inviting people up here as if it’s millions of people. I’ve invited a few people up like Tonya, Tara, Dennis or Randy. A lot of people ask to come up and also invite me to their place and if someone doesn’t want to come up, I don’t pressure them. Why would she care who I invite to my own damn apartment anyway? Isn’t it my right to have company?

Ok, so I’ve had a few problems with some people here like Rosemarie, Donna and Fay. Fay moved and I haven’t seen the other two assholes for ages. I haven’t seen Mark or Robert either, and I won’t have anything to do with Ellie.

She also says the office won’t accept any packages under different names which is strictly out of spite. Why else would she care whose name it was in?

She then got even more out of line when she said she spoke to Ray M who referred her to Mike M. I do believe Ray called her, but that’s wrong of him, and dad and Tammy agree. It was never the office’s business to know about my probation and he had no right to contact them. She threatened to contact Mike, but he says he hasn’t heard from her. That was as of last Friday. I warned Stacey that if she calls Mike or continues harassing me, I’ll file charges. She has no right to talk to either one as this is confidential and privileged information.

She also was extremely contradictory. One minute she truthfully admits she doesn’t know me. The next, she’s judging me and pretending to know me quite well. Puts words in my mouth and gives me all these false ideas about what I’m all about as a person. Also, she’d go from telling me I need to meet more people, to telling me I should keep to myself as if she has the right to tell me what to do in the first place. This bitch would tell me I’m confused, yet I know myself better than anyone else ever will. Also that I’m lonely, and there’s a difference between lonely and alone. Well, the fact is that I’m alone and not at all lonely cuz of assholes like her and 80% of the population!

She told me I oughta get a part-time job or do volunteer work and asked why I couldn’t move to Florida where my parents are as if it’s any of her business.

She told me she knew where I was and what I was doing. She said if someone didn’t tell her, she’d find out anyway. I told Andy I asked her if she was spying on me. Andy said he asked the same thing. After all, comments like this makes one wonder!

Then she got further out of line by telling Andy to dump me and not spend so much time with me. But he doesn’t spend much time with me. He works full-time, and we’re usually on different schedules and we’re into our own space. He’s not overly sociable either, though he is more of a people person than I ever was. Nonetheless, he said she said that it’s unfortunate I’m directly behind him rather than two buildings down and implied to him that I’m just oh so much trouble and therefore, he should stay away from me. He gave her a piece of his mind and told her to back off and mind her own business.

Me and some of my friends went over all the possible reasons she could be doing this to me. We ruled out my being Jewish and gay cuz there are other Jews here and other gays here, though that still could be it. Kara suggested my looks, but I disagree. Stacey may not be beautiful, but she’s not ugly. I think it’s just a matter of my looking young and dumb and easy to step on. I think and I hope she’ll be backing off as I proved the opposite of what I appear. With threatening charges and family and friends on my side maybe she’ll back off. However, if she continues the harassment, things will get worse for her. She’ll end up wishing she never messed with me, and the sooner she realizes she’s picked on the wrong person, the better for her. I will go to court if I have to. I told her not to talk with Ray or Mike, no matter who calls who and to leave me and my friends alone.

That night 3 firecrackers were thrown up here. Was this bitch behind it? Or was it connected to Mark or Robert?

The next day after the big meeting with Stacey, I was fuming mad and scared about extradition. I gave up trying to figure out exactly what could be motivating her. I was so pissed at her nerve and people and life in general. I was sick of dealing with people fucking with me when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I went out to try to walk off my steam. I was sick of seeing people do all kinds of shit worse than I’ve done and get away with it. I began wishing I could drop dead so I wouldn’t have to live a second-best life. No singing career, no sex and just one problem after another with people. Even when you’re good to people, they’ve still got to fuck you over.

I remembered the time Rosemarie and Rick came screaming at my door and figured if they can do that, so can’t I. I wasn’t gonna be intimidated by anyone and I just dared Stacey in my mind to do something about this. I was gonna give people a real reason to hate me and I lost my cool.

I went over and knocked on Ellie’s door. She could see I was fuming by the look in my eyes. She asked what the problem was and I told her she had a lot of nerve. She told me to write it in a letter and shut her door. For about two minutes I gave her a piece of my mind outside her door. Then, she had a table there with a glass, an ashtray, and a plant. I was so fed up with her shit that I flipped the table. I should’ve dumped her long ago, and I feel not one bit guilty about doing what I did to that table.

So, that evening two men and a woman from Terros came out to talk with me. They were very helpful in relaxing me. This was last Thursday night when they came out. While they were here, Ellie called. She was yelling so loud and talking so fast that the only words I could make out were, “clean up the mess.” I hung up on her and the next day she left some plant soil by my door. That was kind of amusing cuz it was so childish.

As cheap and as beautiful as these apartments and grounds are, sometimes I don’t feel like I’m in an apartment, but rather one big house with a Dureen-like tyrant called Stacey ruling it. Never did the landlords/managers back east butt into their tenant’s business like this, not that I miss it there. The Remby brothers did to a degree, but that was nothing compared to this! I felt like a child having to answer to a parent when confronted by Stacey and her shit.

Later...

I am out by the pool now. It’s such a gorgeous day. I was just chatting with Steve. He’s on his patio sawing wood to make a birdcage. That sound reminds me of being at the beach in April or May when everyone’s fixing up their cottages for the summer. I haven’t seen his girlfriend Sue for ages. I told him to say hi to her.

I just ran into Linda and I showed her my place. She asked me, mind you, and no, I’m not gonna call the office and bitch about it. I don’t stab people in the back like that. Besides, if I didn’t want to show her the place, I’d just say no. Anyway, she liked it but agreed I could use more closet space. Other than that, I don’t need more space cuz I have no furniture and this way there’s less to clean. On the other hand, it’d be nice to have more space to fit furniture in and have dressers to put my clothes in which are in suitcases and duffel bags all over my closet floor and under my bed.

A few days ago when all this shit with Stacey happened, Brad called about my cleaning his mother’s house. I said no cuz I’m so sick of house cleaning and may do exotic dancing this month with Tara who’s turning 19 soon. If Tara can’t do it cuz of how busy she is and cuz of her weight, then maybe I’ll go along with Tonya a couple of nights a week. Tonya’s only working a couple of nights a week anyway.

I’m grateful not to live where there are 10,000 kids surrounding my apartment like termites, but at times it’s obnoxious to hear the ones that live here and their nonstop screaming. I can barely hear them over my TV and I came here to the pool to hear less of them. Earlier while I was writing at my table I had to put on my edits. The little tape recorder Andy gave me was right on the table next to me and I could still hear the little twirpettes. I put on my headphones. Several others have said they’ve complained. Gordy even called the cops cuz of their vandalizing the grass, property and cars. Linda said they fucked up her car. They should have a specific area for these kids to play. Away from people and their cars. I’ve given up complaining and I think others have too. Nothing gets done about it.

I still have lots to write about, but I’d like to go finish the shows I taped.

Later...

Andy is here now and he’s grilling pork chops out on the grill. He just went to check them and the edits are playing while I write. I still have massive amounts of editing to do.

Gloria’s gonna be on Entertainment Tonight. I’m also gonna be taping a movie about the true story of a woman who murdered her husband. Last year they had part one of her story. I didn’t know there’d be a part two till I just saw it in the TV guide Randy left by my door.

Later...

The movie’s going on in 5 minutes.

Dinner was good and Mary called during dinner like everyone calls when you’re busy or eating. I didn’t answer, though, cuz my hands were all greasy. When I called her, she told me a very familiar story. Her toilet overflowed and she wanted a mop, but I don’t even have a broom yet. She called maintenance out with their water vac. She said this has happened to her 5 times.

Later...

As far as Terros is concerned, well, they’re gonna call Monday to see how I am. They may also have some referrals for me. Legal aid numbers in case I ever need them, but I sure hope not.

As for Dennis, I spoke to him about Stacey and probation and he agrees Stacey’s fucked up. Also, they can’t extradite me as they gave me written permission to come here.

Last Friday night Andy left me a message saying Ellie came to his door. She wanted to “apologize” to me, but wanted him to go with her cuz she was afraid of me. Afraid I might go off on her. He said he told her, “It’s your problem that’s got nothing to do with me.” I told him he did the right thing. I didn’t get his message till after Ellie came over. She stood halfway down the stairs after she knocked and I opened the door. I screamed at her saying, “You fucked me over and I fucked you over. We’re even now so don’t ever call or come to my door again!” I chased her down the stairs and she ran like hell. As a rule, I never hit anyone weaker than me, unless they tried to trash my stuff or something. I only meant to scare her like I did and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. Ellie’s like Fran and Nervous. If they can’t get positive attention, they’ll get negative attention.

Later...

Last Saturday, Randy and I spoke about the situation with Stacey and probation. The first time we spoke was the night all this happened. We met at the pool where I brought chocolate chip cookies and he brought milk.

He said he felt like giving Stacey a piece of his mind, but Andy told me yesterday that’s exactly what he plans to do on his day off. He also plans to teach Ellie a lesson. Randy and Andy insisted on doing this on their own as friends. Never did I suggest this to them.

Andy said Ellie said, “You’ve been a perfect gentleman through all of this.” Well, the “perfect gentleman” is gonna show Ellie how he feels when someone screws his friend over. He plans sometime soon to go over and seem very friendly, then flip on her.

Randy fixed the space bar, then he also had to fix something else with it. This was very dumb of me, but I shut the case on the cord. I left the typewriter in its case which is a lot heavier than it looks. It severed the cord and cuz electricity is so hot, it melted the rim of the case. Part of it, anyway. It could’ve easily started a fire and I didn’t know that. He spliced the cord, though, and says he’ll get some electrical tape.

I’ll also have to ask Dennis about the glue he’s getting to fix my speakers.

Later...

Tomorrow I must do my laundry. I have 3-4 loads to do. I want to wash my comforter, so there’s one whole load in itself. I also will continue reading back through my journals and timing each one. I’ll do some more letter-writing and finally get on with my editing. As for writing stories, who knows yet?

I hope this week I get letters from my family and Bob. I wish Kim would call to let me know how she likes her tapes. Can’t count on Fran ever writing, no matter what he says. As for Nervous, he’ll never write for sure and I wonder just what the hell has set him off? While Andy was back home, Nervous and I had a 2-3 hour damn good talk. So, how we went from that to his refusing to speak to me, I do not know. He claims to have finally gotten sex after 9 years. I doubt that cuz he’s just in too foul of a mood for a guy who’s supposedly gotten his first lay in 9 years.

A funny, shocking and totally amazing thing happened last week when Fran called. He called Nervous with the 3-way. At first I remained silent and Nervous spoke fairly kindly to Fran. They did chat for a while. That’s one surprise. The really big surprise was when Nervous hung up when I spoke. Totally unlike him. He’d always hate to talk to others associated with me and would always talk to me only. He has hung up on me in the past, but certainly never chose to speak to Fran over me. Oh well. I know he enjoys his letters anyway, no matter what.

As I mentioned earlier in this book, I wrote Bobbie a funny letter and included some hair and my address and phone number. I always liked her and she called me. We had a nice chat for about 15 minutes. She said she’d write, but I know how people are even if they mean well. She’ll never write. Fran also called her on the 3-way and she said I sounded like a sweetheart and very happy here.