Well, as you can see my schedule’s screwed up again, but oh well. I can’t force myself to go to sleep whenever I want to.

I haven’t heard from that deaf girl, but since she did call me, I’ll call her. She gave me her number and I’ve got the relay number.

Tara called to say that she spoke to Tonya who is washing my clothes and will give them to me tomorrow. Tara’s not as undependable as Tonya, but she is a little. She told me she’d call me when she got in from a party. As I figured, she never called and I wanted to give her her b-day card.

Randy went to the store and dropped off some lotion for me which I needed very badly. I ran out and you know how the Theodur really dries out my skin. And my hair. That was nice of him to pick it up for me while he was shopping.

Tomorrow Andy’s taking me out to a nice restaurant. His treat. I’m looking forward to that. Prime rib and seafood. We’re also gonna stop at Fry’s, one of the grocery stores here.

I began a letter to Tammy, but I’ll finish it tomorrow. I finished reading back in journal 2 and now I’m on 3. What a horrible writer I was then. I was so vague and confused, naïve, vulnerable and so damn dumb! It is kind of funny to look back at it now and laugh. It’s pretty amusing. I think - how could I think, do or say certain things? I really would be embarrassed if anyone read my journals. Especially the first half of them. But then again, who cares? I’m sure people have written more stupid, shocking and amazing things than I have. Right? I’m sure, though, that Tammy read much more than I think or have any idea of. Especially while I was in Natchaug. She’s got to have. She’s my sister. There are some things about people you’re close to that you just never quite know. Other things, you do know.

If I live a full life and die after my parents, sister and Andy, I wonder what would become of these journals. Of all my stuff? If I dropped dead right now, I suppose Andy and Tammy may read them, but would my parents or anyone else? My parents especially would die at 95% of the shit in these journals.

I’m still not sure whether or not to do a story. I lost patience before and told myself to wait a while, then take another shot at it. Should I write it in a journal? A notebook? Type it? I think I should type it, then copy it into a journal. This is good for a few reasons. It’ll be like a rough draft and I can make any changes I want to make when I copy it in. I have tons of typing paper. This way I can see how long it goes. It’ll go faster if I type it with no paragraphs, and any mistakes in my typing won’t matter, and I won’t get a crampy hand. At least not as much as I write so much other stuff. Writing in journals and writing letters. Yes, this is exactly what I definitely will do. I will type it. I wonder how long the story will go. Naturally, it can go as long as I keep it going, so I guess what I mean is, how long it’s necessary to continue. There’ll be only so many parts and events to each story, so it depends on how far I expand on each part of the story. Or stories. I have stories in mind. There’s no real purpose in this. Just something to do. No one will read them, except maybe Andy. I can send the typed rough draft to Fran and Nervous.