Andy came crashing in a couple of hours ago. He left me a message, but every time I call him I get his machine. Every time I don’t answer, he runs and shuts his ringer off. Well, I was in the Jacuzzi when he called. I was also in it earlier with Jeff, and the pool too. It’s still a little too cool for the pool and while it is heated, it’s not heated enough.

Now for some bad news. Jeff’s moving out next weekend. What a bummer. You never know who they’re gonna put in there next. I asked Paula who said she didn’t know, but of course, she knows. I’ll die if it’s a mom and a baby. I’m sick of having to listen to and deal with the kids around me. Andy’s lucky he doesn’t have weekends off. All he’d do is hear them scream all weekend long. I’d rather a pervert male move down there if I had to choose between the two cuz that’s a problem I could take care of. I also hope this person isn’t noise-intolerant themselves and that they don’t complain about me. Hopefully, they’re never home either. The perfect person to put down there would be a deaf woman, but that’s a dream for sure.

Jeff gave me tons of hangers which is a tremendous help with no dressers. I even hung my bathing suits to empty yet another duffel bag. Jeff also popped my popcorn in his microwave and is going to give me a plant.

One last hysterical funny thing Jeff gave me was an envelope saying: Herpes Test Results - personal and confidential. Guess who it’s going to? Not Nervous, nor Fran or Bob. It’s going to my parents. This oughta be hilarious. I took a piece of plain white typing paper and typed:

Dear Mr. & Mrs. O: We are sorry to have to tell you that both of your test results are +. Please take the time to follow these interactions to alleviate the problem.

1. 3 X’s daily take an 8 oz. glass of water, mix in 4 teaspoons of salt and gargle.
2. Refrain from kissing and all sexual activity.
3. Instead of doing the above, send lots of money to family members.
4. Receive psychological counseling once a week.
5. Pay our bill in full of $3,820.57 by 1/1/65.
6. Call us for a follow-up visit by 9/3/1998.

*Helpful hints: If you reside by the ocean, chewing on seaweed may help.

I have mailed this and several other letters today.

Later...

Tomorrow I’m sure I’ll get my package. I’m psyched. Will my pictures be in it? I doubt it.

Dennis, Bea and I went to the store. I bought my 5-gallon container of water, TV dinners and a few munchies. I also got a book of stamps. I put 10 on the package to my parents which have those geeky, baggy grandma clothes she sent last summer to the other apartment I put 2 on the envelope to Tammy which I’ll mail my photo and drawing in. I also must mail my $31.41 phone bill soon. I dropped Ma’s package off at the office. Isn’t it nice that they give things that don’t fit into the little mailbox slot to Pete? In all the other places I lived, you’d have to take stuff like that to the post office.

Well, now I’m gonna go check out what’s on TV.

Later...

I'm watching I Witness Video now.

Andy called saying he was going to Fry’s and asked me if I wanted to go along. I told him I went earlier. He’s getting the paper, so I can have the TV-Time section and look at the cat ads.

Later...

Now I’m watching a movie. Andy gave me the TV-Time section a little while ago.

I’m gonna make a TV dinner now cuz I must take my meds on an empty stomach. I want to take my meds in an hour and a half, so by then, my stomach will be emptier.

Later...

Well, I’m still watching the movie. There’s a half-hour to go. After, I’ll clean up and finish Fran’s letter.

Today was a nice day and they say it’s going to warm up for the next few days.

During the next commercial, I’ll write about something I talked to Andi about (the girl next door).