Boy, have I got a major project for this journal!

Before I get into it, though, I’ll write about an experience I had early yesterday morning that really freaked me out. It was freaky, weird, and even scary. At about 8 AM, I decided to chat with God once again. I laid down in bed, turned the fan on, turned the lights off and shut the bedroom door. I first began to say, “I want to believe in Your existence and a lot of the time I do. However, how do I know You’re not just a myth? A made-up character cuz most people want to believe in a higher power that’s good. However, I need a sign that You can at least hear me, if not understand me and help me with my requests. Something not too freaky, but would let me know You’re there and you hear me.”

The next thing I know I hear a sound that’s quite hard to describe. I believe it came from near the bedroom door. That’s the first place I looked towards anyway. It scared the shit out of me and I froze in sheer terror. I ran and checked the house out, but all was fine and locked up tight. It wasn’t windy out, so I don’t think anything could’ve blown against the house. It sounded like a knock/tapping that had a creakiness to it. The closest place and type of sound that I can describe it as is a knock on my bedroom door.

Tom suggested a test by knocking on the front door. Nope. Way too soft. I was so spooked out that I slept on the couch.

Anyway, perhaps I’ll never really know for sure what that sound was and if it was a coincidence with a logical explanation or a true sign from God. Tom said that if it was God - why be afraid of Him? I’m not, but that sudden, unexpected, unknown sound sure scared me. Maybe if it was really Him, He figured that freaking me out and scaring me was the only way to give me that sign I asked for. Well, I sure as hell won’t ask for a sign again! It was too creepy!

Tom disagreed with one other theory I had. I asked if he could be mad at me for wanting more than the wonderful things I’ve already got and Tom said no.

I got two letters today. A finger-spelling one from Alex. I read it OK, but it was too small. I got one from Kim today too, on really nice stationery with multicolored lines. She loved her fingerspelling letter and said to send more anytime.

Now for my project. I copied horoscopes off of Prodigy to copy in here, but shit! It took nearly two hours to do April and May. I thought it’d be neat to have a “book of horoscopes.” I don’t know how far I’ll go with this, meaning, how long. Maybe be a few months, maybe the whole year of 1995. The whole rest of the year would be nice. If I do decide to do that much and end up needing a few more pages from another journal for it, I’ll use #91.

A jackpot for Andy too, cuz I had to copy these down somewhere first. I copied them onto a notepad. One of my old Barbie ones my parents sent me when I first came here. Andy will love it cuz he loves passing notes out. In stores, restaurants, people’s cars, etc.

I’m 98 pounds! Wow! Just when I was feeling like a fat blimp. I have been exercising, though. Wait till I get closer to my period on the 18th. Then I’ll be feeling it as I bulk out with water.