Today I’m gonna make the GYN appointment I’m late for. It’s only once a year, so I may as well get it over with.

Right now I’m feeling typical PMS dullness and blues.

There are a few things I want to bring up and say to Tom. However, I’m afraid he’ll feel pressured and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. Meaning that I don’t want him to think I’m being selfish, trying to change him or have him please only me. If he had a request of me, I’d try to do whatever I could for him and I don’t ever want him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

It’s not that our relationship is boring in and out of bed and I like the gentleman in him, but why not add even more flair? I want so badly to tell him to be more romantic. This means both of us. I wish he’d be a little more adventurous at times. Not be afraid to grab my butt in public when no one’s looking, not be afraid to grab a quickie in the car in a more secluded parking lot, not be afraid to talk dirty to me more often, etc. I know he knows when to draw the line. One time when we were in the car, I slid my hand on his leg. He said he was a big boy and could wait till he got home. I don’t want him to always be a “big boy.”

I also wish, with no misunderstandings on my part for thinking it’s the real thing, that he’d pretend and say he came occasionally in bed. Cuz even though he’s said and I know it’s not my fault, I know he could have always cum and will always have that choice, I’d still feel more like a real woman who’s doing her job right. It still has me feeling a bit abnormal and different with a low sense of confidence when it comes to how I make him feel sexually.

Sometimes I wonder if I should even hold myself back from cumming to see how it makes him feel. Maybe he’d be able to understand how I feel better. It just seems too hard to do. After being built up and made so horny, I’ve got to be relieved or else I’m so frustrated. I just don’t know how he does it!

Anyway, as I said before, I’m afraid to bring this up to him. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or suggest he get into stuff he doesn’t want to do.

We both admit we do contradict ourselves a lot in the things we say. I also think we should work on improving this and keeping our word if the situation permits it.

Later...

Oh, I feel so much better! I told Tom everything I just wrote about in my last entry and as I should’ve known better, it was no problem. He totally agreed and understood all I said and told me we should never hesitate to make suggestions.