Andy will be calling back any minute now. He had to go fold his laundry. Andy and I were talking with Karson and their friend Kim till he had to go fold his laundry. Then Karson gave me her number, then hung up cuz Kim wanted to ask me a personal question in private. She said she trusted Andy and knew I could be trusted by what Andy told her.

She asked, “There’s this guy I like named Mike who says he wants me but doesn’t call me. What do I do?”

I said, “Fuck him. There are always gonna be people you want who don’t want you and people who want you that you don’t want. Actions speak louder than words, so if someone’s actions don’t comply with their words - screw them and try finding someone where both of your feelings are mutual.”

Then I called Karson back who demanded to know what she said, but I wouldn’t tell her. I said she had to go out somewhere which was true. Then we hung up and we’ll all talk later.

I finished the library book I had to renew and now I’m on the other one.

I’m gonna go work on a letter to Kim.

I asked Andy if I could tell Tom his ghost story and he said that if I’m gonna tell him mine, I can definitely tell his, too. That’s the idea, but I don’t know if I will for sure or when.

Later...

I answered a question of Kim’s. She asked me where the G spot was located. I always thought that was a woman’s clit. However, the catalog that came with the vibrator showed a diagram showing it to be up inside near the bladder. It said it was hard to locate, but that stimulating it felt noticeably different than clitoral stimulation. This is news to me and now I’m curious to experience this myself. Who knows if I will but they had a G-spot stimulator for sale that looked like a dildo.

I talked with Andy, Karson, and Goofy, but Karson got pissed at us all as she always does, even though she loves every minute of it.

Andy and his friend Michelle are gonna go get more of Stevie’s garbage and I’m gonna read and watch TV.

Later...

I read and watched a movie. I also typed Kim’s letter and retrieved and sent a message to Alex. Andy was on the phone while I was typing part of Kim’s letter so he gave me some lines.

Tom just got up and is eating the hot dogs I just zapped him. He feels and looks much better today. Yesterday he didn’t throw up again, but he felt yucky.

I’ve been swimming on and off and due to being on nights lately, I’ve been skinny dipping. I’m still tanned, but when my schedule’s more towards days I’ve got to get out a little to keep it up. That won’t be too hard at this time of year as it’s been deathly hot between 108º - 112º. Gotta watch out for sun poisoning.

There haven’t been any more significant experiences with Robin. I sense her presence on and off. There is one physical and one emotional change, though. I’m still quite certain that it’s just because and not related to her in any way. It’s still worth mentioning, though.

If you’re like most people, you’d agree that my hair and eyes are my best features. Well, it’s kind of obvious that she likes my hair. This hair is a bitch to maintain. I normally wash it twice, then use either the detangler or the Infusium 23, then have to spend 20 minutes brushing through the knots. Well, the last two times I only washed it once and didn’t put anything else in my hair. Yet strangely enough, I could brush right through it in only a few strokes. Time will tell if all it is is luck.

Also, since this all began, or shortly after, like maybe July 2nd, I haven’t been upset or unable to deal with the fact of never having a kid. It’s not like I’m unable to deal with it every day, but I feel as if I’ve lived through it and gotten over it, even though I’ll always wonder what it would’ve been like. We’ll see.

I just asked Tom if he felt it was unlikely they’d allow a 16-year-old to stay alone in a cabin at a camp. He said, sure. If a 16-year-old was working in a camp, she’d need a place to stay. He said they wouldn’t necessarily have to put her with adults at all. A 16-year-old trying to rent an apartment or buy a house by herself is a whole different story. I’m still unsure about the possibility of her only being 16 back then. It really seemed like she was in her 20s back then. Hell, she could’ve been in her 30s, but I doubt that.

I haven’t decided yet if I’m gonna try to hunt down that camp today. I still doubt I can find them or get any info. It’s been a long long time, but we’ll see.

Later...

Tom just left for work and I called Maine info. As I suspected and was afraid of, there is no Camp Naomi statewide.

Here’s something that’s cool. I made the comment, “I’m not always gonna have periods” to Tom before he left (meaning when I get fixed). and he said, “You won’t get periods for a while, but you’re entitled to your opinion as I am.”

The cool part of it is that I didn’t feel pissed or sad and think, don’t lie to me or kid either of us! Guess it’s because I’m so used to this shit now.

Anyway, I’ll never know for sure now if this thing with Robin is for real, will I? My instinct says it is, though. I have yet to write a few more things we “talked about” but I’ll get around to it after I’ve had some serious sleep. All I know right now is that I feel a constant warm, wonderful, and content feeling regardless of what I’m doing and if Tom’s present or not. I used to feel love and security from one source - Tom. Now I feel love from two sources.

Later...

Tom asked me if I found out the location of that camp today. I told him they didn’t have anything statewide and he said they didn’t keep records of camp counselors. He did tell me to search the subjects on AOL and Prodigy and see if I can find a map that’d list smaller places outside of Portland. I tried, but couldn’t find anything. An “ask the staff” box came up, so I sent them a question about how I was trying to locate info on this camp even though I couldn’t get any number for it cuz I was trying to locate someone I had known there. I’ll just have to wait and see what they say. I don’t know how long it takes to get a response from them. Dead or alive, all I need is a number and a name to find out whatever happened to her.

That was really nice of Tom to offer to help me.

This weekend I told him I’d tell him about Andy’s and my experiences. Ultimately, I’ll probably never know for sure what really happened to this woman or if she’s really dead. All I can do is sum up which of the 3 possibilities feels stronger - my imagination, thought vibrations, or her spirit. Number 3 is definitely the strongest.

Even if I could just find out if she were dead or alive with no explanations would be enough for me. I’d like to make contact and say thanks if I could know she was alive, and I’d like to know how and when she died, if she’s dead, but if I could only start with knowing if she were dead or alive!

I asked myself if this entity/spirit could be someone other than her or my grandparents. “No way,” immediately comes to mind. If it isn’t her through being alive or dead, then I have one wacky imagination. One clever enough to have a rational person such as I am totally fooled.

I’ve been meaning to try to remember and write down anything else she said to me or that I told or asked her. I’ll do this later. Right now I have other things I want to do.

Later...

In this week’s TV guide, there’s a thing for monthly teddy bear figurines. It’s from the same company that we got our plates from for free. However, they no longer send you plates till they get your payment. This one says they’ll bill you with the first shipment. They know this address, but not Andy’s, so I asked him if I could send it to his place to give to me. Then he’ll get lots of NPN envelopes from these people, as I still do, which he can have. I asked him on his machine and will wait till he calls me.

This experience has heightened my curiosity. I may do some research on subjects like this and see what books the library may have about it.