I can’t believe how much we did yesterday! Also, I can’t believe the cute neat room I’m in right now was once Tom’s trashed bedroom. I think he misses having even less space to trash, though.

I slept just fine last night. I heard him leave as I was getting up, so we’ll have to see how well he slept when he comes home. He should be home within a half-hour.

I’m amazed at how quiet it’s been in this bedroom so far! I thought I’d have to have the music on constantly to drown out the dogs. Oh, I hope it stays this way!

Anyway, I really hope Tom’s heart is as much in this as mine is and as he says it is.

I would still bet a million bucks that Tom will never let go and cum. I don’t see how this or anything else could change him with that after all this time. Now that we’re sleeping together (almost) he’ll make up some new excuse as to why he’s not cumming. I will try to give him the benefit of the doubt and give it about a month.

The good news is that the baby desire is quite low. As long as I have no reason to believe pregnancy is possible, I like it this way. It makes my life easier and I’m not so anxious, depressed, or bitter with Tom.

There’s still room in here to throw Tom’s bed in here in case one of us is very backed up in our sleep, but I can’t see that happening. I sure hope not as I really love this change!

Later...

Tom’s home now and he slept just fine. I’m cooking us pork chops right now.

Well, I may have an excuse of my own for him not to cum for another 6 months to a year or so. Tammy doesn’t have a date yet, but in either late March or early April, Lisa will be having her Bat mitzvah. Mom and Dad are gonna be there and she’d like us to be there, but it’s too far off to know if we can make it then. It’d be nice to not have a kid so we could go and see everyone at once. Then in the future years, we can either just go to New England or just go to Florida. I’m sure there’ll be no kid and that we can go. Somehow we’ll get there in 1996. How much do you want to bet, though, that if it were our kid, Mom and Dad would never be there no matter where they lived? She said to us on the phone, though, she trusts whatever we do. I’ll have to remind her of that statement and how she raves of Tom and of how far I’ve come if we have a kid by a miracle. I may not even bother, though, if I was pregnant and she gave us any shit. I mean, I may either not bother telling her or defend myself if I do. Why bother worrying about a bridge I’ll never cross? Yes, my very, very strong vibe is setting in. I know he’ll never cum.

Speaking of my other vibes, I hope the results aren’t the opposite of what I feel for Labor Day. Before when I called Barbara, I had a bad vibe but got good results. I hope that cuz I have a good vibe for Labor Day that doesn’t mean that I’ll get nowhere. We’ll see in a few weeks. I left Barbara a message saying I got ahold of Leonard and will let her know if I get any news after I talk to him.

I’m done eating and after Tom gets done eating, we’ll go through the pictures together. There are about 7 I want to get copies of.

Karson tried calling last night, but she obviously called after I crashed.

Tom closed the bedroom vents a little cuz it was an icebox in those rooms.

Tonight, I’m gonna start Sarah’s letter.

Anyway, the bedroom looks a little funny with the two beds side by side like I thought it might, but who gives a shit? It’s our house. In the bedroom, there are also the vanity, the dresser, and a little flowered cardboard chest of drawers. In the music room, as I call it, is the stereo, Tom’s dresser, a night table, the tall bookcase with all the journals, and this table I’m writing on. I began redoing the walls and now there’s plenty of more room on the walls for wall art and puzzles.