Yesterday I was up 18 hours, so I wasn’t too happy when I awoke only 6 hours later. I awoke at 8:30, but I managed to nap from about 11 PM - 1 AM. I’m still groggy and still waking up, so I will return later.

Later...

I’m making pork chops right now and Tom should be getting up anytime now. The timer gets stuck and I don’t know if I can wash it or what, so I’ll ask him what he thinks is best later.

It looks like my period’s beginning two days earlier, but fine, I’ll get it over with.

I worked out, swam, cleaned the bathroom, and talked to Andy.

I had a nice realization earlier. I feel that getting off the Theodur is such a great accomplishment. Not a hard and challenging one, but something I’ve hoped I could someday do, and now I’ve only got 3 more goals left - the singing, the kid, and quitting smoking. I don’t think numbers 2 and 3 are possible, but I sure thank God for this climate and the Phase-Out. Also, how it’s been easier in general to deal with having no kid. I still don’t feel like I want a kid 100% of the time. There are times, depending on my mood, schedule, etc., when I’m glad I don’t have one. This is the way I see it - That I can either have a kid, or Tom, family, friends, vacations, the business, the singing, other hobbies, and life. The way I wish I could see it is that I could have it all. Tom believes we can have a kid and all the other things in life we want. I guess the reason why I see it as one or the other is due to what Tammy’s said, and other mothers. I also want to stay 100 pounds and not have my skin made worse than it already is. I have a few hundred stretch marks from all the weight I lost 10 years ago. Do I need to go and make it a few million?

I had a funny dream during my nap. Tom and I were at home, but the house didn’t quite look like this one. I had just gotten up and went into the kitchen where Tom was. He told me there was surprise company waiting in “the den” for me. I thought to myself, I just got up, so I didn’t have time to straighten up. As if Tom knew what I was thinking, he said, “Don’t worry. I already neatened stuff up.” So the den, which was a room about the size of my bedroom, was where I proceeded to go. I opened the door and there were my parents. I think Tammy was there too. Then Tom came in, sat down and joined us. The next thing I knew, Tom’s underwear was on the floor and I was trying to kick it under furniture and hide it any way I could.