Yes, I’m 33 today. Anyway, it’s about time I do some writing.

Yesterday, we planned to have me stay up as long as I could. Without Benadryl that was no problem. I was up 19-20 hours before I fell asleep but get this - I slept through his nail gun all day! I’ve come a long way since those mad butches and project animals. He finished at 4:00 and at 6:00 I woke up. I was still tired, but couldn’t go back to sleep, so I took a Benadryl and slept till just after midnight. Guess I was beat!

Tom wished me a happy birthday when I got up, and if you think I’m gonna spend my birthday worrying about dieting - think again! So I had him pick me up some stuff from Jack-n-the-Box and he got some stuff too.

I noticed an envelope on top of the scanner where Tom places my mail when he gets it and thought, oh no! The handwriting looked like Dureen’s, but it was a nice card from Evie.

Fortunately, I have no vibes of any assholes trying to contact me, but if they did, it’d only be cuz they were trying to win me over so they could fuck me over yet again. It’s not gonna happen for the millionth time, of course, cuz any calls that may come in will be ignored. An hour later, he went to work. He had gotten the night off, but as the bank usually does, they fuck his schedule over and push overtime on him, so he had to go in tonight. That’s OK, though. Gives me a chance to catch up on my writing.

When I came in here, there was a message on my wallpaper from Tom. On a pink background with some cactuses and balloons, he wrote: Happy Birthday Jodi Lin.

Then I went to check my email and got 4 messages from Evie. You heard right - 4 messages. One seemed to be blank, but the others were saying a little bit about what was going on with her and how she was thinking of me on my birthday, and the last one was great. I told her I prefer dirty jokes. It just seems that the raunchier they are, the funnier. So she sent me this thing that had a list of things about Thanksgiving that sounded dirty, but weren’t, like, what a huge breast! And it must be broken cuz every time I squeeze the tip, nothing comes out.

My period’s starting. At least it seems to be starting again. Still, I’m gonna go ahead and call to set up a time for the uterus scan.

Yesterday, I finished the huge task of taking out all our pictures and reorganizing the photo albums. It helped me to push my schedule by keeping super busy, but it sure was a big job! It was fun and worth it, too.

I forgot to mention something about Melanie that I noticed, and thought was a bit odd. I noticed she had a thin gold wedding band on her thumb. There were no rings on any other fingers. I had thought, though, that I saw some sort of diamond on her ring finger when we first met. Could she be getting a divorce? I hope not for her sake, cuz I want her to be happy.

El cocko’s been taking its bitch back at the end of the day, but the thing that worries me is all the time he’s taking to do so. He was here for an hour and a half the other day and this worries me. He didn’t take an hour and a half to see the mistake. This I know. No guy like the scum he is would do that so that only leaves one other probable thing and I don’t like it. This cock is trying to get on her good side and weasel back in here. Then when it comes in here, things will be OK in the beginning, except for its constant door slamming, and then the music will start back up. Uh-uh. Ain’t gonna happen, Mikey! You come back, you’ll be bounced right back out!

I’d love to really do some detective work and follow her someday. Not just to see where she goes out of curiosity, but to really freak her out even more when she reads that I know where she goes. It’ll be one thing to read that I’ve got her unlisted phone number, and her account number as far as her housing goes, among a few other things, but something like this should really give her the creeps.

For my birthday, Tom ordered me Sunshine and Lollipops. She was ordered on the 2nd.

I called to ask about Patrice, whom I was last told would be shipped on 12/12, but she left on 11/18 and is on her way! It takes 10-15 business days for dolls to go from the company to the people, so I’d say she’ll be here sometime next week.

If Tom’s mom remembers or even cares, to tell you the truth, to send me $33, I’ll get Edie from the doll store.

Sometime next week, Tom wants to take me to pick out some baby mice! I like the new idea better than the old one. Originally, we were gonna get a male mouse to impregnate all my female mice, but instead, we’re gonna get a few pregnant females. As we well know, all you need is 3 pregnant females to give you more than you need as far as increasing the population goes. Better to get a few young pregnant ones than to impregnate the 7 I’ve got and put these old mice through the hassles of that.

Later…

Andy had me on the phone for quite a while a couple of days ago, but I managed to get out of it just over an hour into the conversation. The sad thing about it was, was that the whole time we talked, he didn’t tell me anything new except for the good news that his AIDS test was negative and that he hated the L.A. traffic.

He was totally stoned. Not able to understand much of what I was saying, not letting me get a word in edgewise too well, and just going on and on and on about the same old goddamn, boring things. Aaaaaarrrgggggghhhhhhhh!

I reminded myself of how I used to love hearing from him and I felt a twinge of guilt for finding him so annoying, but I can’t help it. I’ve changed and he hasn’t. I just don’t find Andy of interest to me anymore. No, I won’t dump him, cuz he hasn’t harmed me. I want to be there for him whenever possible, I want him to have love with David or with someone, but I just wish he’d hurry up and get the fuck back east! I still doubt it’s gonna happen, and he’s changed his plan once again. He’s not going in May with his aunt and uncle. But before I could get the chance to ask why he told me he was gonna drive back in April. I don’t know if he’ll go, but I’d rather type him letters than listen to him babble about the usual once or twice a week for an hour, then be too much of a stoned airhead to remember anything he told me or that I told him. The question is, though, will he remember the things I write to him? He told me that he remembers reading the encouraging letter I just sent him and that he was touched by it, but can’t remember a damn thing I said. That’s sad. He also says he couldn’t remember that Michelle just turned 24. He thought she was gonna be 25. He guessed me to be turning 34. He said his memory problem couldn’t be all pot-related and I told him to go see a doctor, but I think it is all pot-related.

No one likes to be miserable. I know. I’ve been there. And I’d have done something about it the very first day I felt miserable if I could’ve, but a part of me wonders about Andy. Does he really care that he’s the way he is? I know he wants to be loved, and I believe he’d stay sober forever if he could, but does he really give a shit about working and other things? Are the phone and TV his only interests? I asked him if he felt he could want to get fired deep down, but he said no way, it’s such an awful thing to have to go through, and he didn’t see how I could think that he’d want to get fired as much as he does, but I don’t know. A part of me thinks he not only sets himself up to be fired out of fear, but so that he can have more time to be home watching TV, listening to Stevie Nicks, and gabbing on the phone for hours on end with a joint between his lips. I can kind of understand and relate to the wanting to be home more often. We’re both homebodies and if I were working full-time, I’d wish I could be home enjoying my stuff and doing the things I enjoy too, as Tom pointed out.

He also admits he eats like a pig when he can, yet he’s so big on people looking thin and young.

All he told me about L.A. was how shitty the traffic was and how gloomy he found L.A. to be.

Meanwhile, he says he’s gonna be calling temp agencies to see what’s available. So I guess he’ll stay with Red Lobster till they fire him, then work for another temp agency for a week or two.

Then he’s so negative about us moving, saying that there’s pollution outside the valley too, and more spiders, and shit like that. Why does he always find negative things to say about the things people look forward to doing/having, etc.?

Later…

The voice messaging thing for my pap results still hasn’t gotten my results. It’s still a little soon, though. If I don’t get my results by Monday, I’ll call the office. At least I can rest assured that there was nothing wrong. If there was something wrong, I’d have been contacted by now.

I had a burger, some fries, and a slice of cheesecake, and now, it’s popcorn time!

Later…

I know my doll won’t come today even though it could, technically. I’ll be home and awake at mail time.

It’s freezing out there now! The cool thing about being in the desert, though, is that in just a few hours it’ll be warm.

The cock was here picking its bitch up. The bitch has three different people that I know of to give her rides to and from work if she needs it. Three people! I couldn’t have gotten me one person, let alone three if I had been in her shoes years ago! Yes, she’s got three people between her cock, the tall thing in the light blue car that I think is her sister, and Bill.

I’ve been taping Christmas music, but so far, I could only get one good song. At one point, when I was scanning through a tape, I heard rap music. Some freeloaders got together and put out a Christmas song with a rap beat. Typical, typical freeloaders. They gotta do everything in such set ways. Everything to them is rap, drugs, violence, laziness, and church. They don’t know anything else. Most of them have no education whatsoever.

And a part of me still wishes I didn’t let her get a word out of her black mouth when it came yelling at my door last year. I should’ve just beat the fuck out of her right then and there before she could even utter a word, and how embarrassed I am for myself for writing that I hope her taking her tizzy fit makes her feel better. Like I really give a shit how that sick fuck feels? Yeah, right!

Later…

Damn! I gained 4 pounds today. All that just for taking one day off from eating so little? God, my metabolism’s so slow! I could eat my way back up to the mid-120s in less than a week.

Later…

Two days in a row there was a hang-up message from an unavailable source. These sales freaks almost never leave messages and it’s highly unusual to get hang-ups two days in a row. So let me guess - a certain bastard left these hang-ups from a place cross country from his trucking company?

I was right. No doll today. Could be tomorrow, but more likely, it’ll come Monday while we’re at Melanie’s.

I fell asleep about 4 hours earlier and woke up when Tom came home. After having one of his cakes he got, I fell back asleep till he went up on the roof.

Tom just left to get me some Chinese food and to get him something from Arby’s.

Got a nice card with teddy bears from Mom with a $33 check. I asked Tom about going to the doll store today and he said we could go if I really had to, but would rather work on the roof. So, we’ll go get the doll sometime next week, along with the mice.