I had to have Tom put my mouse back, cuz his wheel mouse was causing my computer to crash left and right. The phones were all screwy, too. We even thought there might’ve been a tap on the line, cuz of how fucked up things were, but the phone company says they’ve been having problems and it’ll be taken care of. But they always have problems. Every other week there’s a problem and it’s gotten really old. I can’t even play more than one or two games of bingo online without crashing or without things hanging up. That really fucks up my plan. I had planned to row during the two-minute commercials, but as always, whenever I plan something, especially when it concerns my own body, something or someone always has to interfere. Service is shitty no matter where you go, though, cuz people are so damn dumb. In the city, they just can’t keep up with the high demand for service, and in the rural areas, there’s not enough demand for state-of-the-art equipment.

Tom suggested it could be tapped (before the phone company informed him of the trouble) cuz of my calls to Bill. When I asked why they’d set up a tap for the three lousy calls I made to him and not the thousands of calls I made to others when I lived there, he said it was because I called out of state. It still made no sense to me, and I doubt there was ever a tap on this line, but even so, after all the shit I’ve been through with our backward laws and people, I don’t trust shit. I’m just so paranoid now that I leave written notes on the memo board, rather than spoken ones on the phone. As absurd as it may sound, they might even have this place bugged for all I know. They like to concentrate on investigating piddly bullshit more so than the things they should be investigating. I even hid a few things I don’t want to get into here for obvious reasons. Despite the fact that a search warrant seems so unlikely, you never know what the law’s gonna do, so I’m playing it safe this time. It’s not that I have a “feeling,” but the last time I really did have a feeling, I ignored it, and because of it, I ended up with those tapes being taken from me. I didn’t feel like they were taken from me, though. I felt like they were stolen from me. The whole thing reminded me of the way Dureen would clean out my room, throwing away whatever she felt should be thrown away, with no regard to my feelings or say about it. I went through similar enough shit from staff members at the places I was in, too. I’m just sick of being controlled by our so-called authority figures!!! First it was parents, then teachers, then shrinks, and now it’s blacks, Mexicans, cops and courts – aaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!! When does it ever end?!

I will never trust another off-brand again. I hate blacks and I hate Mexicans, and I don’t see how anyone could go through the experiences I’ve had with them and not hate them. I’ve had problems with all but one black person I’ve ever had any kind of contact with, and problems with every single Mexican I’ve ever been unfortunate enough to cross paths with. Never again will I willingly, or by force, associate with another black or Mexican. Never! I’ll be damned if I’ll be suckered into their traps and be abused by them, only to have to end up going to jail and court for it! If you’re black or Mexican, you steer clear the hell away from me, or else!

Speaking of Mexicans, I’m getting the impression that this bullshit case has nothing to do with them. It’s all the blacks. Just the black bitch and me. A court clerk called me “Miss N” as she was handing me my papers. Well, that’s the bitch’s last name.

Tom said they have to drop it for a few reasons, and that it would’ve been thrown out back in June if I had just gotten the fucking subpoena. And by the way, the certified letter couldn’t have been a subpoena cuz we found out online that the subpoena was issued in April for a June court date, but the certified mail came in May. So, the reason I was arrested was cuz of the bench warrant that was issued and the reason I had to spend the night in jail is that the charges are felonies.

Anyway, Tom says they have to drop it cuz no one can prove I did what they said - the legal definition of stalking – following someone. Also, I’m entitled by law to be arraigned in court 10 days after being arrested, which was never the case cuz of people’s stupidity and inability to do the paperwork properly.

As far as my documenting their activities – I had a right to look out my own window, and the cops even advised us to keep records of their antics. He swears this will be over by the end of the year, but I won’t hold my breath. I still think it’s gonna be quite a battle, for quite some time, and that the burden of proof will be on me and not the blacks or the state. He said Mr. Biased wasn’t lying when he said it was dropped. He said it went to a grand jury cuz she pushed it, yet now she has nothing to do with the case anymore unless we go to trial. He was telling me how she probably had to go into court to push this thing 3 or 4 times and miss work over it. 

Sorry, but that’s no consolation to me. I’m sure it was plenty worth her bother. She’d love to lose work on account of me, and even if it was a bitch for her, did she have to sleep on a cold, hard floor all night and pay hundreds of dollars cuz of the very people who antagonized her? No. Absolutely not. I’m the one paying. In fact, the blacks cost us another 7 bucks yesterday just for parking, and whatever the cost of the long-distance phone call I had to make today is going to be.

After getting up at 5:00 in the fucking morning, per orders of this fucking cunt, we headed to Denny’s, then to court. It was similar to what I went through in Springfield, only the room was smaller, there was a video monitor of those in the jail, and the friendliest sounding female judge I ever heard of. And naturally, most of the people being arraigned were young Mexicans destined for nothing but lives of destruction. One at a time we went up, were asked if our name was our true and legal name, asked if we understood the charges and had any questions, then were given papers with our next court date, after she entered a “not guilty” plea for us (that’s all that room did was not guilty). My next court date is September 7th at 9:00. I was given a number to call in order to obtain a public defender, but was told when I called that it wouldn’t yet be in the computer, so I need to call back next week.

Last night, Tom was trying to reassure me that I got what I wanted. Meaning, I wanted her to be scared and paranoid, and that’s why she pushed this thing. No, it isn’t. She’s not scared or paranoid. She pushed this thing cuz she’s a vindictive bitch who doesn’t know when to leave people the fuck alone.

Anyway, Tom said it was nice to take a day off in the middle of the week. He didn’t go to work at all yesterday. We went out and flew a bird kite I’ve had for quite some time, but the wind wasn’t very suitable for it. I took some nice pictures, nonetheless.

Today, I caught up on things like cleaning and changing the animal’s cages. I also got caught up on the sleep the blacks had been depriving me of. Shit, she’s been depriving me of more sleep here in this house than when we lived together! I slept for nearly 12 hours, that’s how exhausted she’s had me.

You know, one of the biggest reasons we moved out here was to get away from people. Yet these sick fucks are still with us! Just in different ways.