Went to Mary’s yesterday and visited with her, Dave and Mom for a while. Mary and Dave were both on vacation. The house reeked and I had a hard time breathing, but it was still nice to get out and see them. Mary was out getting pizza when we arrived. I only had a few bites of Tom’s pizza, cuz I knew I was gonna be having KFC.

Mom seemed less shaky but huge! She was so bloated with water cuz of diabetes.

I was brave enough to be in the house with Pepper this time and even patted him, too. As Tom said, he really seems to like me a lot. This time I remembered to take the camera and shot a few dozen pictures of everybody, plus the dog and birds. I’ll put a couple of pictures on each envelope back when I send my letters.

I kind of wish we’d brought our suits so we could go swimming, but it’s not like we have 5 or more years to wait for our own pool.

Mary said that the house next door was bought a couple of months ago and that they’re quiet and they like that. I was thinking to myself – you are so lucky! If it had been us living here, the new neighbors would be anything but quiet.

Tom and Mary did some stuff with the computer and phones, and Mary was kind enough to give Tom a modem. He got his working, but he still wants to put one on my computer, even though I don’t go online anymore.

The best part of the visit, I must selfishly admit, was that we may be getting the big screen TV Dave won in a raffle at work!! I don’t know when we’ll get it or if we’ll get it for sure, but it sure would be nice to have. We’ll have to rearrange a bit to fit it in nicely, but it’ll be worth it. If we get it, I’ll then describe where we put it and how I rearranged, etc. Dave’s son Mike is now 18 and so they’re rearranging their house. He’s going to college now and isn’t staying there every weekend anymore.

I was shocked to find out a couple of things about Dave. First, he read my story. I thought only Mom and Mary read it. Second, he’s 47. I could’ve sworn he was in his late 30s.

After KFC, we got bingo tickets at Circle K and a few other things. Jennifer cut her hair and it looks absolutely pitiful! It’s thick, wavy and one length to her neck that sticks out in a funny way. Anyway, one card won a couple of bucks.

Today we’re making a wooden burrow for the rats, then come late afternoon/early evening, I’ll be in for another round of incredibly boring, predictable cumless sex.

Later...

We do one of two things in bed – we either have a cumless screw, or a no screw. Today was a no screw. I just couldn’t get him hard enough and into it, and as usual, he was too OK with it. Not a shred of frustration on his part.

I should’ve known better, too. It was too early in the day (2:00) and he was acting too eager and playful about getting together like he had some trick up his sleeve. The trick was an old one - to make sure he didn’t go in there so he could get off on any negative feelings I felt by it, but I’m beyond any negative feelings anymore. If that’s the only way to please him and to keep him happy, comfortable and content, then so be it. Let him play his games. He’s normal in one respect; that a man always thinks of himself only when it comes to sex. To hell with pleasing the woman. It’s not like he wouldn’t go down on me if I asked him to, but I just don’t desire to get off by him. I don’t want to get off by anyone who doesn’t want to get off by me. His silly little fears, coupled with his desire to play games and turn me off, really do turn me off. He even made a comment after he “tried” to get in there (he probably already got off in the shower) saying, “You look so bored,” (gee, I wonder why?) and he seemed to take such delight in the idea of that. He’s turned on by my being turned off, I swear! If it were me, I would want to do all I could to please my wife, if I truly loved her, and I wouldn’t want to risk her straying or leaving altogether, no matter how sure I was she’d stick around no matter what. But he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do and no one can change him. He is how he wants to be. Yes, sex is definitely better between two women. With women, they’re coming from common ground, they know what each other likes/wants, and they know exactly what to do and how to do it. One also can’t be afraid of impregnating the other. It’s like two people communicating in English, versus an English-speaking person trying to communicate with a French-speaking person. Men and women simply clash in bed. Certainly not to the degree that we do, but all I can do is live with it. I love Tom too much to cheat on him or dump him just because he sucks in bed. We all have our fears and our areas in life where we’re selfish and think of ourselves only. It could be worse. He could have the appetite most males do, wanting sex nearly every day. That’d drive me crazy! Even with a gorgeous woman. I have a whole week before I have to endure his very old shit again, but next time he’ll probably let himself inside.

The well quit working momentarily yesterday for no apparent reason, the second bath’s toilet leaked, and now its outlet is dead. Now, I know we’re cursed with electrical and plumbing stuff regardless, but why do I fear this is a warning sign from God? One saying, “I’m not gonna just let you have a nice big TV. Take that TV and watch out!”

I fear this shit we’ve been through with the problems/breakage is a taste of what’s to come should we get that TV.

Upon coming home yesterday, we saw a buzzard circling around the front. Those are big, too. They make pigeons seem small. When they circle an area it means something’s died or they’re waiting for it to die so they can eat it. We searched the area and after a while of looking, we smelled a foul smell and saw grayish fur – probably a rabbit that was killed by a coyote.

Today there were lots of quails roaming around looking for food. I finally relented and threw out some seeds, but by then they were gone. They’re pigeon size.

Tom made the rat burrow and he did it fast, too. It’s a simple, yet clever design; two boards nailed together in a V-shape so they can get in and out either end. It’s about 5” tall and 15” long.