A101

Took a long, 4-hour nap. I must’ve been exhausted.

I have a lot to update on. Not even an hour after giving Nottelmann that note, Palma rolled me back to 107 and told Ruby to go to 101. I was both shocked and psyched. Tina and I were hugging, Rosa practically picked me up off the ground as she hugged me, and we were all glad I was “home” again.

I had just gotten my shit set up when in came Palma to tell me she was swapping me and Ruby. I was pissed and I totally went off on her, asking her why the fuck she was doing this to me and that if she had a fucking problem with me, she could just come out and say so.

Then she tells me not to give her any shit and that someone fucked up the roster and she was trying to fix it (how the hell I got away with cussing her out, beats me!). I guess she swapped us because Ruby’s max, and so are Rosa and Tina. Because I’m medium, I was put in with other mediums.

Anyway, as I was heading towards 101, I asked Palma if they were crazy. She said they weren’t, and that I probably knew them.

Well, I’ve never met Carolyn P and Marian M before, but at least they aren’t crazy. Just rude. They have no respect for those that are sleeping. Especially Monday, as she likes to be called. The only way I can get any sleep in here is if one of them is asleep while I’m asleep. If not, they talk to each other without bothering to lower their voices. They don’t even try to be quieter.

They’re both in for drugs and both are ugly. Carolyn’s 39 and Monday’s 43, and because she’s older, I’m sure that means she’ll be talking a lot, especially to herself. She gave Carolyn and I Christmas cards she got from tank orders. That’s premature. It was still nice of her, though.

Although gently, Carolyn’s been trying to push Jesus on me. I was shocked to find she has a boyfriend. She’s very butchy looking with boring short hair.

This is the 13th time I’ve been moved, and if I haven’t lost count, I’ve had 13 cellies now, too. Ruby, Carolyn and Monday say all I have to do is ask a shrink for closed custody and they’ll give it to me. Yeah, right! And I suppose they’ll give me a million dollars too, if I ask for it. God would never let me escape all these people, but you can bet your ass I’m still going to try!

Tom finally heard from someone – the bar association. They said to take it back to court. In other words, they don’t give a shit and they aren’t going to do anything about it.

During our visit, he signed a sentence – the rat and mouse ate cheese. He’s learning! I had to correct him a couple of times, but I needed correcting at times myself when I was first learning. Those illustrations can be tricky to comprehend.

He told me the rats were biting him and acting out. Harry ran into the bedroom while Houdini ran the opposite way and climbed up inside the couch.

I showed him how I lost enough weight to finally trade in my large pants for mediums. They’ve been feeding us shit lately! I can’t wait for tomorrow’s commissary. Our Christmas dinner was no different than any other. Tom said he wasn’t surprised, seeing that Christmas is a religious holiday and Thanksgiving is more of a generic one.

Monday’s got court tonight and Monday’s got it January 2nd. Then within 10 days, she’ll be DOC’d out of here.

I got pretty PO’d at this totally rude DO on my way to my visit who was doing escort. I’d have grieved him if I’d known his name, but I didn’t catch it (I later learned it was Bergman). I forgot to tuck my shirt in and he told me to and I did. That’s where the bald mother-fucker should’ve dropped it. Instead, the little fuck had to add that he was two seconds away from canceling my visit. That’s two seconds away from dealing with my wrath he would’ve been too, if he had canceled it, because that wouldn’t have been my loss only but Tom’s, too. That would’ve been so rude to do to Tom and so unfair to him too, after taking the time to come and see me. And over tucking in a fucking shirt! If he’d canceled it, I don’t think I’d have been able to keep from losing it on the sack of snot. How dare he threaten me! What? Do some of these DOs think they’re God just because they’re the DOs and we’re the inmates? This one can bend it backward and shove it up his ass! Sometimes I find myself wishing I didn’t have visits or commissary to lose because if I had nothing to lose, I’d have kicked many sets of teeth down many throats by now.

I thought I noticed more gray in Tom’s hair. A twinge of guilt crept over me when I saw this. And anger and sadness, too. Imagine all the gray hair I’ll have when I get out!

Carolyn and Monday have been good (so far) with not begging. They haven’t even asked to use my radio. I’ll have a total of 15 envelopes if all goes well. I’ll have 6 from Tina after I get her candy bar and pop tarts, 6 from Monday for 2 brownies and corn nuts, and 3 from Carolyn for 1 candy bar.

Carolyn and I were talking about diet and exercise and she said that if you build muscle underneath the fat, rather than lose the fat first, you won’t lose the fat. That’s what happened to me. But then she said that a good 3-4 months of eating 3 grapefruits a day will peel the outer layer of fat off. That outer layer of fat, though, is being peeled off really well, thanks to Estrella Jail and the freeloaders who put me here.

Black Johnson worked 2nd shift, and I said jokingly, “Hey, you wanna pass a kite for me?”

“Yeah, right,” she said.

We’re not supposed to pass kites to each other, so we have to do it behind the DO’s backs. Rosa had a kite made up for me with lipstick kisses which I got during the 5 minutes I was back there before Palma bounced me down here.

Speaking of kites, I got another medical one to go in for my inhaler/snot spray. I’m scheduled for an eye exam but haven’t heard about my prescriptions yet.

Oh, I hate this shit! I’m so sick of having to fight for things no one should have to fight for. At least we have hot showers and even the air temperature’s warmer. How long will it last, though?

Got two letters from Tom today, mostly mentioning how the rats bite him and misbehave. He enclosed a picture of Harry, saying he’s getting to look like Vanilla Belly. I couldn’t see his belly, but I thought he was a spitting image of Scuttles with the dark brown fur and white paws. He says mellow Harry’s turned into a hyper, rebellious thing.

He says he hasn’t been able to get any info on Rosa yet. The court website’s been down.

He also says he’s holding off on the governor and senator’s letters till he talks to a lawyer. He thinks a lawyer would cost $300–$400, but I think it’d cost more than that. His mom, God bless her, may have to help us.

Why don’t we just open up “The Freeloader Account?” Why don’t we just pay her regularly for the rest of our lives? In a sense, we’ll probably have to anyway.

Carolyn and Monday had the very unfortunate curse of having crazy Melinda for a celly for 3 days till she went back to M. They said they prayed for someone like me. I’m glad God answered their prayers. Now how about mine?

Set me free, God!

Carolyn was telling me the DOs record our daily behavior in detail, but I don’t see how they can be that detailed when 95% of the time they don’t glance in at us for longer than a second. Sometimes not at all.

Yuck! This cell is starting to reek of bad breath (they’re asleep). Commissary needs to start selling room deodorizers.

As I’ve said before, I plan to type these rough drafts up when I leave here and make a little book. My Estrella Jail Nightmare was the only thing I could think of for a title. Then Carolyn came up with Why Am I Here? Again, I know why I’m here. I’m here because something up there hates me and wants to screw me over.

Carolyn thinks I should publish it to let folks know exactly what goes on here, and when I told her what a bitch it is to get something published, she recommended I sell it at a consignment shop.

I don’t think so.