The man with the easy-going voice, Scot, is my PO. We met with him yesterday in Casa Grande and it was both good and bad. Just when I think those freeloaders have taken all they can of my dignity, and can’t surprise me with anything new, they do. There’s no end to what I have to endure on account of them! I had to pee right in front of a female PO. I guess this is so that if you’re on drugs, you can’t use someone else’s clean pee. I was really surprised to be hit with a drug test because my case isn’t even drug-related. All this stemming from loud music!!! I couldn’t go at first. I was just too humiliated. I had to wait a while until I felt like my bladder would burst.

Tom said he went through the same embarrassment in the Air Force. Yeah, but at least he chose to be in the Air Force. I didn’t choose to be a victim of lying, vindictive freeloaders with connections to the corrupt “justice” system.

Scot looked a little older than I pictured him to look. He’s probably late 30’s or so. He’s short and stout.

He surprised me by saying that he didn’t care if I worked at home. Good, because I don’t have a choice. He also surprised us both by informing us that he has an office in Maricopa too, and that I can do community service at home. I guess I’m going to be picking up wine bottles and stripping them of their labels. Our tub’s so big, we could soak a lot of bottles in it till the labels fell off on their own!

My 4 main worries right now are as follows:

I worry that he may not accept farming as a “good enough” job, so to speak, after a while.

I worry that Helen doesn’t have all the necessary credentials they want and that I’ll have to start over with someone new.

I worry that I’ll be framed for more shit. Tom says it’s not likely they’ll continue to fuck with me out here since her connections were in Maricopa County, but what happened to me can happen to anyone, and it can happen more than once, too.

I also worry about them searching the place, which they don’t need a warrant for. I know we have nothing to hide. That’s not the issue. The issue is them doing it just to do it, and them taking shit just to be taking shit, as the Shadow Men did. They took shit that was perfectly legal and allowed in jail just because they couldn’t find anything to take that wasn’t legal or allowed. Power-play is everywhere when it comes to authority figures and we don’t need or want anyone going through our shit and stripping us of yet even more dignity.

Anyway, the meeting was mostly boring, because he went over the same old shit that’s been gone over with me a million times already. He wants me to see him twice a month and he says he’s coming to the house twice a month, too. I was surprised he wants to see me only twice a month. I thought it’d be more like 4 times a month (yeah, and I’m sure I have dozens more humiliating, degrading piss shows to put on for lady POs, too). I was also surprised he said he’s going to come to the house twice a month. That, I thought would only be a one-time thing to verify I live here. So, I have a long time to make sure I stay on a day schedule, thanks to the fucking freeloaders who still own and control my life.

Believe it or not, some parts of this probation shit are even harder than being in jail! In jail, I didn’t have to worry about my schedule. All the noise and shit that’d be going on from 6 AM-noon would keep me on schedule. At least I’m free and have my life to myself some of the time, and don’t have to worry about crazy, loud or rude cellies! Oh, how I miss my Teddy Bear, though! Day after day I miss and think of her, looking so forward to the day we meet again, wherever she lives.

Logically speaking, he shouldn’t visit the house till June because that’s when my probation starts. However, he told me to jump on the community service as soon as I could, since I’m “not working” (no homemaker is ever working).

When I asked if I could work any probation time off by doing extra community service, he informed me of what I already figured – that judging by what the “victims” said, I have no chance of getting off probation early. In other words, the vengeful, spiteful, vindictive bitch lied bad enough, using her piggy connection to coach her along the way, so that as always, I don’t stand a chance against her. She wins. Always has, always will.

Always with her, always with me.

Although neither of us picked up bad vibes from Scot, you just never do know. Neither of us trusts anyone within law enforcement. Except for Teddy Bear, of course, who Tom guessed might be a UPS driver. That’s physical and that’s delivering stuff, but that doesn’t fit with how she said her other job threw more work at her. Why would UPS suddenly throw more work at her? I’d think they’d be pretty consistent.

Anyway, Tom and I talked about maybe leaving this communist country and its corrupt government and law officials, but that’d take many years of saving up. And who knows where we’d go? There are not too many places that are much better than the US.

Scot also told me that if I have any arrests or contact with the police, I’m to contact him right away (yeah, I’ll let him know if I receive any police harassment). The same goes for if I see my two “victims.” Two victims? I thought the Mexicans were supposed to be out of this as soon as I was suckered into pleading guilty. Anyway, he told me to just walk away if I saw them. Walk? Fuck walk! I’d run! My “victims” are really my enemies and believe me, I wouldn’t be sticking around.

Although we did let Scot know I was innocent of what I was convicted of, he said what I figured he’d say, but what could he say? He has no control over that. He did say that people tell him all the time that they’re innocent. I’m sure they do, and in the past, I’d have said that they were all lying and that anyone in jail deserves to be there, but not after what’s happened to me. I know I’m far from the only one who’s been framed. I know there are a lot of people in jail who were framed. And you don’t think it can happen to you till it does. Until then, being set up like I only happened to other people or so I thought.

After leaving Scot’s, we went to Walgreens. I picked up a couple of large sports bras since I’m not going to lose weight again. I also got a puzzle and the best stuffed animal I’ve ever had. And I’m not big on stuffed animals, either. I see them as nothing but cute dust collectors. However, this lifelike dog I got was so cool looking. I was surprised it was only $15. It’s posed sitting on its tush and its head comes to just a few inches below my hip. It sort of looks like a collie, but it isn’t. It’s pretty realistic looking for a $15 stuffed animal. Tom and I were joking that we lied to Scot when we told him we don’t have any dogs!