This is my weight loss progress so far as you’ll see below. In order to lose the whole 5 pounds during the Fast Five, I’d have to wake up at 146.4 on the 7th, and no way. Just no fucking way with my shot thyroid/metabolism. My body’s already fighting to hang onto its weight… just like always. It initially lets a few pounds go, then stops no matter what I do. This is why I haven’t dieted in years. I should’ve known better, too. What did I think, that my Hashimoto’s had gone away or something? Unless I’m sicker than a dog or totally starving, my body’s not going to give up its extra weight. The money’s been spent, though, the food is here, and so I’m still going to stick to it. Nobody can say I didn’t at least give it an honest shot for the first time in half a decade or so, though Tom thinks the weight will go.

01.04.2015 (03:50): 148.4 lbs
01.03.2015 (02:30): 148.6 lbs
01.02.2015 (00:30): 149.6 lbs
01.01.2015 (06:00): 151.0 lbs
12.31.2014 (00:00): 151.4 lbs

Had to resume my Nasalcrom because my nose has been getting a little stuffier and sneezier lately.

When asked why I don’t just refer to people as “she” or “he” or “they” in my journal – well, I write in Word and copy from there. I started paper journaling in 1987 and digital journaling in 1995 and have always used real names, though almost always just first names. It’d be a real pain in the ass to switch all the names to she, he and they. Also, my philosophy is that if you’re afraid of being named – even just on a first-name basis – then you probably have something to hide in which you feel ashamed. Guilt is usually what makes people hide their identity.

I can understand the whole privacy thing and how some may not want their bosses to look them up and find out personal info they may be too embarrassed to know they know, but still… if someone’s afraid of first names, then they’ve almost certainly done something they fear could be used against them. Well, I can’t and won’t be responsible for covering the asses of the guilty. If you’re a friend of mine, of course I can use a little more discretion. But if you’re someone who’s screwed either myself or someone else in the past, then you should’ve thought of the consequences of possible exposure before you screwed up.

In last night’s dream, we were living in an apartment that was part of a long, single-story square-shaped structure. It mostly contained apartments, but there were a few stores. Inside the square was a huge parking lot. You had to go through these large metal gates to get in and out.

It was a dark, rainy morning and Tom had just left to go somewhere. Not sure why, but I left the apartment and went to sit in our other car. I had one of the rats with me. I then got out of the car by myself and went to the gate. I was a bit alarmed to find it sitting slightly ajar, knowing Tom would have shut it all the way. I hoped someone had just come in to go to the little convenience store that opened early and wasn’t after me or anyone else in any kind of way. Sure enough, I saw someone moving about in the store and felt relieved.