And yet ANOTHER cop has gotten away with murder, this time for killing a 90-year-old man. The man had a knife, but hell, I could disarm and subdue a 90-year-old and I’m not very big. So you mean to tell me a big, tough, younger guy couldn’t? Oh, come on! He could have easily been subdued without force. Why bother trying these bastards if they’re never going to be held accountable for their actions?

The killing cop was black. Funny how the white folks weren’t quick to cry racism like the blacks do when one of theirs gets shot, but wait! “Black lives matter,” right? To hell with white lives, gay lives, Jewish lives…

Tomorrow night is going to be a very hungry night because I need to go to the lab for blood work and am supposed to fast for at least 8 hours before having it drawn. I will be up way before the lab opens so it will be tough on me, but oh well. I’m not going to starve at 140-something pounds.

The easier it becomes to keep from gaining weight as they adjust my meds, the less I want to bother losing the extra 20-30 pounds. Why not just continue to indulge on weekends and exercise the week away? It works for me.

I just hope the dream I had last night doesn’t mean anything. Tom and I were living in an apartment building. What is it with all these apartment dreams anyway? First it was jails, then hotels, and now I’m back in apartments. The thing about the dream was that we had one truck instead of two cars. The truck broke so badly that not even Tom could fix it. He said it was “totaled from head to toe,” and I began to cry about something trying to set us back in life.

Love my new ratty shirt! When I first held it in front of me it seemed a medium would be too big on me, but it’s fine. A large would’ve been too big cuz then the rat’s face would wrap around my body.

Alison’s got the secret but not secret blog. The link is posted on her Twitter page but she doesn’t know that I happened to stumble into the blog from there which is on my-diary. She got a writing prompt from WordPress about fessing up to what we last did wrong. She used me as an example, saying that at the same time, she could understand why I got upset with her for not coming clean about associating with the trolls, it was up to her who she is associated with.

She’s right. It is up to her. If she wants to have toxic friends, she’s perfectly welcome to do so. However, there is a difference between not telling somebody something vs. lying. If you don’t tell somebody something, that isn’t necessarily lying. But when somebody asks you a question and you give a false answer, that IS lying. I specifically asked her if she had heard from Molly or if she had been in touch with Kim and she said no. But we are obviously never going to agree on that one a hundred percent, and again, it doesn’t really matter. It’s her life, let her fill it with the mentally fucked in the head. Just like Mary and Rihanna are attracted to beaters, she’s attracted to nuts. So much so that it almost amazes me she’s willing to be my friend.

I was pretty sad - no disgusted - to learn that Michigan is trying to pass an amendment that makes killing a cop eligible for the death penalty. What, other citizens aren’t human beings too? Why are so many cops looked upon as these magical little gods? Even the few out there that aren’t corrupt and don’t use and abuse their power… they’re still just as human as we are. No more and no less. So to go harder on those who kill cops vs. other people would be like giving white murderers the death sentence and black murderers life. Totally twisted and unfair, but hey, as they say, life isn’t fair. Never has been, never will be.

If there’s anything that makes me sleep a little better at night when I do or say something unfair, as much as I try not to, it’s just that… knowing that life isn’t fair. Not saying that two rights make a wrong or that I should go jumping off a bridge just because others are, I’m just saying that if life isn’t supposed to be fair anyway, then why worry about perfection? Life isn’t fair. It has never been. It never can be. It never will be. Trying to make it fair is impossible. And so… I might as well just be human and follow my heart, fair or not. I mean people could make it a little less unfair by not having laws that favor certain groups, occupations, etc., but clearly they’re not willing to do that. So again, might as well just do what we gotta do, right?