Got up at 5 AM as planned. I could have easily slept until seven or eight. This is where I have mixed emotions about not being able to work outside of home. I’d still do it in a heartbeat if I could, but at the same time, I am glad I don’t have to depend on an alarm five days a week to deprive me of an extra hour or two of sleep that I could really use. At least I heard Alexa’s alarm go off because I slept with the sound machine volume turned really low. The only thing that sucks is that while you can adjust her volume for music and other things, the timer and alarm volumes are always the same. 

While my sleep issues are a real bitch for appointments at times, it really does balance out as far as the job goes. It sucks not to add an additional income to our household, but then I also don’t have any evil bosses or backstabbing coworkers to deal with, do I? So while we may be living in a time when women are expected to skip motherhood and go straight to work, life ain’t all bad, though I skipped motherhood because I chose to in the end and not because it was becoming “the thing to do.” 

Tom was telling me the other day (this was so sweet and I really appreciated it) that because I take care of the house, he never has to scrounge for clean clothes. Whenever he needs a plate, he just reaches for one and there is always one there. If he drops some crumbs on the floor, he can just shrug and say, oh well, they’ll disappear soon enough when Rosie is turned loose to vacuum. Water ring around the toilet? No problem, he knows that will also disappear soon enough. 

It would be wonderful if more people could see other people for the positive they bring into the world and not just the negative. I love how he can see the things I do and not the lack of money I generate or the extra pounds on my body. 

I have similar thoughts about him. My government has denied me the benefits that are so rightfully mine not just because of their twisted, crazy and senseless laws, but because outsiders are more important to them than their own. My husband picks up where they left off. 

I also can’t express how wonderful it is to have somebody willing to drive me where I need to go. Not that I didn’t try to overcome my driving phobia numerous times and not that I could have afforded a vehicle anyway back when I was living in poverty on my own, collecting $494 a month of SSI money, but oh how hard it was getting groceries, for example, with no vehicle in a cold snowy climate. I would have to call a cab, which would cost me more money, and of course they would take forever to get to me, leaving me to wait out in the cold and snow even longer. My life might not be 100% perfect these days, but it definitely gets better and better the older I get. These days most of my time is devoted to living instead of to survival. I definitely prefer it this way. 

I scrolled down three or four posts on my Facebook newsfeed shortly after I got up, and sure enough, it was full of people’s “likes” and comments. Not what’s going on with them. I give up on the news feed completely except for what’s right on top. If anybody has anything they want to tell me, they can message me. 

Thanks to not having much privacy there, I don’t comment very much on people’s posts because it’s none of my friend’s business what I tell another friend. I send them a message instead if it’s that important. 

Had to take a break for a few minutes because I had the runs. Tom thinks it’s a lack of sleep. He’s probably right. 

Our medical provider sent us a check saying that we overpaid them. As Tom said, why did they have to bother sending a check when they could just give us a free co-pay the next time around? 

Speaking of co-pays adding up, I am going to put my foot down when I see my PCP. Being cautious is one thing. Being ridiculous is another. Not saying they’re “ridiculous,” but if I can’t make them understand that I’m not naturally anxious (though I can get nervous and stressed out at times) and that the cause was being over-medicated last year and then the Prozac, then I don’t know what else I can do. As they say, you can tell somebody the facts but you can’t make them get it. What people do with the information we give them is up to them. Unfortunately, their decisions can affect us negatively, but like I said, no more unnecessary appointments! I have given in to them once just to satisfy them, but I’m not going to keep doing it. I’m not a minor, I’m not in custody, and so I will make my own decisions. 

The weekend went too fast, as always, but we sure got a lot done. We cleaned windows, Tom fixed the back door which was sticking, and I rode my bike around the circle five times, while he walked it twice. The original plan was to ride around the park, but he had a flat tire and our air pump broke. He ordered a new one last night on Amazon, and I got a ton of shit as well…My first UV light for gel nails, color-changing nail polish where the nail body is pink in the tips are purple, a half-slip, several colors of glitter mascara, several colors of glitter eyeshadow wands, and a set of three metal silhouettes of dancers from the same company I bought the set of three skaters from just over a year ago. There are six big windows in front, so now there will be one in each window. 

Our 21st anniversary is in a couple of weeks and we decided we’re going to spend it gambling and enjoying the buffet at the Thunder Valley Casino. We just don’t know exactly what day. LOL, TVC saw my tweet looking forward to doing just that, and wished me a happy anniversary and a fun time there. :)