Just thought I would do an entry while Simone plays in the box my new chair came in. 

I am very happy and excited for my sister and my BIL because they finally got a new home! Can’t wait to see pictures of the place. 

I rode my bike a mile this morning and it really got my heart pumping. I think this was caused more by the sun than anything else. Even though it wasn’t that warm at the time, the sun seemed so strong for some reason. I try not to overdo it because I am so pale that I burn very easily. This way I get some exercise and I get a little sun and a little color and that’s it. No burns, blisters, peeling or sun poisoning. I would much rather be white as a ghost than make myself uncomfortable. 

I felt slightly anxious for a few minutes afterward, but quickly calmed my pulse by deep breathing and reminding myself that everything was okay. I think that because a certain nasty anniversary is coming up it’s making me a little nervous. Most therapists say to expect flashbacks when you hit that first anniversary of anything traumatic or scary or sad in any way. Well, July 9th of last year was definitely the most terrifying day of my life and I will definitely be doing all I can to distract myself on that day. NaNoWriMo will be going on, so that will help. 

It isn’t just the anniversary of the heart-pounding thyroid pocket flares that has me on edge, but I am coming up to that six-week marker in which the trouble first began last year. This would be July 2 or 3. I haven’t had any racy hearts or shortness of breath like I did leading up to it, but I have had a little congestion lately. I woke up at 3 AM last night and I almost felt short of breath. Still, I wish I could stop looking at clocks and calendars. It’s like, tick-tock, it’s getting closer… 

I followed up with Dr. A online as instructed and updated her on my last visit to Dr. O, though I would think they confer with each other, and let her know that I have still been feeling well but would contact them if I had any problems. You bet I will too, though I would certainly rather not have to. 

In my dreams last night, Tom went back and forth between existing and not existing in my life. It was weird. First Tammy was driving us somewhere, probably to her house, and she wanted me to move in with her and Mark since I was alone. I told her that I would probably be single for the rest of my life because I was getting older. She seemed to take this observation as a refusal of her offer, and I suddenly felt a tinge of guilt at the thought of her thinking I didn’t appreciate her generous offer. I wasn’t sure we would get along because we were so different, but also realized that things do change. 

Then I was at a hair salon and some guy took me back to his station to trim my hair. I suddenly remembered that my current thyroid medication dosage was making it grow like a weed and how I wanted to let it grow for a year and then have it chemically straightened. Not wanting to tell the stylist that I changed my mind, I told him to hang on a minute while I went out and got something from my car at which time I simply jogged home. 

Next thing I know I’m asleep in my outdoor “bedroom” after listening to vinyl records on an old fashion record player. Through the darkness, I could see a large dog walking by and I told myself that if I remained still it shouldn’t attack, but it did. I started screaming for my dad who was supposedly in the next room, but it was Tom who came running. Then Tom and I were either at the police station or in court where I promised to kill the dog if proper action wasn’t taken, something I would never say or do of course, LOL.