My period hit full blast so that probably was an ovulation pain I felt two weeks ago. 

The Cat River Rescue people blew me off completely when I asked them if they had any tips on quieting Simone down. She’s only been quieter tonight because I really yelled at her good for the constant meowing and getting underfoot. The meowing is at its worst when Tom and I are talking. It’s like she’s either jealous or determined to join in the conversation. 

Sometimes I still feel more like we’ve got a kid than a cat. She’s noisy, she’s underfoot, and I have to baby-proof every little thing. Certain objects are safe from her, but she gets a hold of smaller things and hides them. 

I can’t let her in the other bedroom when I sleep anymore, cuz she wakes me up by playing along the dividing wall. I can’t do much of anything with this cat. Sometimes she’s sweet and fun, but most of the time she’s annoying and an inconvenience. 

I’m once again contemplating returning her, even though most people would think that was cruel. I would just say she ran away or something. The only things stopping me are the same things that stopped me before – we put so much money into her and Tom really loves her. 

Christiane replied to my message saying hello to her and telling her how hot it was here. She lives in Leipzig. I wasn’t sure if Nane had poisoned her against me since our little cyber breakup, but then again maybe Nane's dumped her, too. Sometimes I think of re-adding Christiane if she wouldn’t mind because fuck Nane and what she wanted. We have the right to be friends with whomever we want and I kinda feel bad for deleting her just because Nane got jealous. I’m not blind. I can see that Christiane’s a hottie. But I don’t have the crush on her I once had on Nane. 

Anyway, she said it was hot there too, and attached a pic showing the dials in her car. It was cool seeing the German writing and all that all over the dash. I had to look up “reichweise,” though. I didn’t know that one. 

Facebook recommends people we might know to us, and every now and then I noticed it kept recommending an older woman named Mary G. Mary G who happens to live in MA. Well, I don’t know anything about Ronnie’s second wife, but I do know her name was Mary. Assuming they’re still together, I sent a message saying: 

So the bastard hasn't croaked yet? Had a dream about the little bully last night. Just wrote about it in my blog as a matter of fact. Oh, how lucky we both are I wasn't like I am today when he would shove me around and make his little threats when I'd be stuck having to stay at his and his ex's place. 

This is so true, too. Had he waited another decade or so to punk me around like that, he’d have gone to the hospital and I’d have gone to jail. Same goes for the other uncle. 

His first wife June was pretty nice, but what a bastard Ronnie could be. I never actually saw him be physically abusive to her or his daughters, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he was, just like I wasn’t surprised to learn of my sister’s ex. The only difference between June, Tammy and myself is that they’re kinder people who are more apt to forgive and who can even continue to love someone who’s screwed them. Me… I punch back, I lose all love and respect for them, I don’t forgive, and I sure as hell don’t forget. I don’t care whose method of response is the so-called correct one either. I simply do what works for me and let others do the same. 

Anyway, I’m not totally sure it’s the cock’s wife. There’s no Lori or Lisa on her friend list or any other name I recognize, and the account appears not to have been updated since 2012. 

Later… 

Mary read the message but didn’t reply or block me. Still don’t know if it’s her or not. If it’s not her, why didn’t she reply to tell me so? If it is her, why didn’t she block me? 

In the wee hours of the morning, we went to Denny’s. He got a ham and cheese omelet and I decided to get something I rarely have at home and that isn’t very heart-healthy. So I loaded up on eggs, bacon, pancakes, and fries. 

We stopped at Walgreens afterward where I got a really light but bright shade of neon orange nail polish I’ve never had before despite having nearly every color in the world. Too bad I just did my nails, LOL, in hot pink. 

When we got back to the house I played with the cat a bit and then noticed my eyes itched and my lungs felt a bit congested. I’ve had some coughing and even some wheezing for 2-3 weeks now. I first thought it was that I had gotten overly strong incense, even though I rarely burn it these days, and haven’t had this type of reaction to the stuff in the 12 years or so that I’ve used it. Remember, I once used to make my own incense down in Arizona. I’d love to get back into it and sell it online, but there’s way too much competition there and I’d lose more money to supplies long before I could ever come close to making a profit. 

Anyway, I began to suspect the cat could be causing this reaction, but didn’t think much of it. One day I even wished I had an inhaler for the first time since the new carpet they installed in the duplex we rented back in 2004 caused me to wheeze for some reason. I haven’t used inhalers for about 13 years now. 

Then she accidentally scratched me when I wasn’t quick enough to pull away from her when we were playing. Even though it didn’t seem like she’d scratched me that hard, it was itching like mad and bleeding a little. Now that I’m older, my skin is thinner and so I bleed easier. She’s made poor Tom bleed even more. Anyway, I went online to see if I could find out why cat scratches make me itch and what to do about it. In learning that it’s usually an allergic reaction caused by proteins in their saliva, bacteria and dander, I accidentally found my symptoms as being an allergic reaction. I was both surprised and not surprised. When I think of allergic reactions to cats, I think of non-stop sneezing. Bet I had the same coughing and wheezing with Sasha and Shadow (till I was forced to get rid of them) but didn’t know it because I smoked at the time and had lung issues anyway. I’ve always had allergies in general. But when they’re rendered dormant through lack of contact with irritants and you’ve been taking a nasal spray for the sneezing part of it, you forget that other things can affect you in other ways. They just usually take weeks or even months to get you. My sister only recently learned she’s allergic to coconut palms and she’s been in Florida for over a year now. 

Anyway, although I know that keeping Simone wouldn’t kill me, it’s a very annoying and uncomfortable thing to have to live with when you wake up (that’s when it’s worse) hacking your brains out with congestion, wheezing, and feeling like someone karate chopped you between the shoulder blades. Knowing I wouldn’t get any better, I called Carol and agreed to bring her back to Petco next weekend where they’ll be set up adopting out cats, as usual. She said this way she has a chance to figure out what to do with her. 

I feel terrible about the whole thing. It truly sucks. I really liked the idea of a pet that lived longer than rats, we invested so much money in her, and Tom really came to love her. I know he knows I didn’t ask for these allergies and doesn’t blame me and all that, but I still feel awful about it. I’ll miss that little devil’s sweet side. Will I miss the constant meowing, her getting underfoot, her sometimes stinky litter box, her messing with things around here, and having to dodge her teeth and claws? No, not at all. But I will miss the fun games we used to play, cuddling, and just having her around BIG time. 

I feel bad for Simone as well, of course. I hate to put her through this, but hopefully, she will see it as one big old adventure and will end up in a wonderful place. I still feel like a real shit for this even though it’s not my fault and one has a right to do what they need to do to breathe easier. 

No texts, calls or letters from Paula. I’m not really surprised. She’s more the heat-of-the-moment type and not the vengeful type, though regardless of who dumped who, once we’re done with each other I automatically ignore and delete anything I may get from anyone that may have a hard time letting go without reading/ listening to what they have to say. My philosophy is that once you’re done with each other, what more is there to say other than in one’s journal or to another friend?