Not surprisingly, Andy is just now FINALLY realizing just how sick I am of the race shit and jokes pertaining to that. I thought he would’ve caught on years ago after the hell they put me through. 

I know 90-something percent of the population admires blacks and sees them as these poor, poor little victims, but I see them as nothing but the angry, vengeful and often violent assholes that they are who love to take advantage of knowing they’ll be excused from most of their hate crimes and other shit as well. These fuckers are getting so out of control I wonder what’s next… are they going to start decapitating us Muzzie style? Meanwhile, true racism and discrimination against them these days are rare and often trumped up and exaggerated where there may be a grain of truth to their claims. 

Well, their shit isn’t “funny” or anything to joke about when you consider how many people they’ve hurt and how many lives they’ve ruined. I’m far from the only one who lost so, so much to these shitsters. Sometimes people really truly do make their own haters, not that many Americans hate them these days, and I’m not ashamed to name those groups I’m less than fond of any more than I am those individuals I’m not thrilled with. Fifty years ago whites hated them just to hate them. Today, no matter what offenses they commit against them, whites will be quick to defend or make excuses for them. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. But like I also said, I’m sick of hearing about them and just as sick of venting about them, so I will wrap it up. They’ll never change, and if they do, I don’t see it happening anytime soon. 

On the night of the 4th, I went out into the street to see the fireworks being shot off down at the lake. A woman, also short like me and who appeared to be around my age, came up behind me and introduced herself as Dusty. She had long sandy brown hair and glasses. She said she’d been here two years, her cat wasn’t afraid of all the noise, and she’d never been to the lake. She’s living with a widow who’s been here 28 years. I’ve never seen her before but she said she’s seen me out walking around. I’m not surprised. Everybody knows me here but doesn’t really know me, LOL. 

Due to the lung issues I’ve been having (oh, how they remind me of what I went through in the 90s and what my sister goes through these days), I’ve been trying to distance myself from Simone. Yesterday, however, she was determined to get my attention in a way she never had before. She jumped up on my lap, purring away. As disruptive as it was since I was in the middle of typing, it was so sweet, too. I went into the bedroom and cried at the thought of giving her up and wondering what would become of her, but I still didn’t see any way around it. My lungs are a little better right now, but my eyes itched a bit yesterday and I still cough up this nasty-tasting shit. It comes and goes and wouldn’t be easy to live with indefinitely. Taking regular medication for allergies and asthma also wouldn’t be good for me because that may cause long-term problems from what I read. If I can remove a problem before I have to medicate it, that’s still the route I prefer to take, even though I’ll miss the little shit. She hid my pen and lip balm somewhere. I just hate to take her away from Tom, and I hate all the money we’ll lose, too. 

I dreamed of speaking in Spanish (no sé lo que dije) to a woman whose nose was made of shiny silver metal, and then Tom and I were picking up our mail on the ground floor of a huge multi-story building somewhere.