Perhaps I shouldn’t take it so personally, but not only am I sick to death of racial issues being the highlight of just about any site I visit these days, it really annoys the shit out of me when people don’t see the real reason certain things are happening, and continue to believe that white people are oh so privileged. If I attacked a black person I would be charged with a hate crime. If they attacked me they would not be charged with a crime. If I wanted to create a white beauty pageant I would be called racist. They have black beauty patches and they’re not called racists. If I wanted a holiday in celebration of whites I would be called racist. They have their holidays and they’re not called racists. If I were seeking a job position along with a black person, the black person would probably get it to “give them a chance after having been suppressed in the past.” 

Where is the so-called white privilege in that??? 

I didn’t watch the Sandra Bland video or read the news article, but I can say for sure that racial profiling isn’t nearly the issue the media wants you to believe it is. The problem is the police. There are so many corrupt cops out there that will bully and abuse ANYONE. However, because the media chooses to focus only on black victims, that gives people the impression that they are being discriminated against when in fact that is rarely the case. There are PLENTY of white victims out there as well; we just don’t hear about them as much because nobody gives a shit. The problem isn’t the color of the people; it’s the people wearing the badges.  Like it or not, it’s human nature for those in authority to get carried away and abuse it. Makes them feel tough and all that. But to say they’re only picking on blacks and that whites are so privileged is ridiculous. They abuse EVERYBODY. 

As for blacks… The vast majority of them are thugs and I’m almost to the point where I feel they deserve just about anything they get. I’m sick of the havoc they wreak on society as well as the individuals who have suffered on account of their hatred, anger and violence. I just don’t understand why people won’t open their eyes to the facts. The cops shouldn’t kill the criminals in their custody, but to say police brutality only happens to blacks and that racial profiling is still an issue is nothing but pure bull fucking shit. If there is, God forbid, any racial profiling going on then it’s because of their behavior. They’re such vicious little monsters that people do have to be somewhat wary of them. But 95% of their discrimination claims are a crock. Sadly, people do what works to get ahead in life, even if it means hurting others. They know the race card game works and earns them sympathy along with other things, and so they play it and they play it well. 

I was so proud of myself for doing a partial perimeter ride last night on my own now that it’s been a while since my heart has taken me on any joyrides and my medication has been regulated. Strangely enough, though, I felt slightly anxious after I got back throughout most of the night. I slept terribly, too. I woke up constantly and felt warm even though I set the temperature at 75°. I think the scare I had with the gel polish simply had me rattled. I’ve been fine today. 

I had a dream involving my fifth-grade teacher, Mrs. Bowe, but I don’t remember what it was about. I had a little crush on her even though she was a bitch. Everybody hated her. Today she would be in her late 70s. 

In another dream I was in our cottage at the beach, which was our summer home for many years, only it seemed much bigger. I was staying with a bunch of people there, but I don’t know who they were. The place had a washer and dryer, too. I was in a hurry to wash my sheets and blanket so I could make up my bed. 

The bedroom in the far back, which later became part of the master bedroom, had bunk beds in it which my sister and I slept on as kids. The bunk beds were still there in the dream only the room was much bigger and there was much more floor. I commented and how much smaller the room was when I was a kid. 

Then I picked up an iPod that was sitting on a dresser (mine I assume) and started to walk out of the room. Before I got the chance a girl in her 20s jumped out at me and said she wanted to play. Even though I would have preferred to listen to music, I shrugged and said okay. Then a human-shaped cutout appeared in the door to that room and she jumped into it face first and told me to hurry up as I pulled on the door to open it. I told her I was going as fast as I could but that she was kind of heavy. 

Then I was talking to my parents who always come back to life in my dreams. We were all going on a trip somewhere and I asked them how many days we would be gone because I was worried about my schedule and the time zones, and they said they didn’t know.