Moondancer’s site was glitchy so I decided to order some incense from The Dipper. I’ll be getting 31 different fragrances in packs of 10. The fact that it was shipped today tells me it’s not freshly made, so I might not like it as much. It’s a good thing I didn’t get even more. I probably should have gotten less, but I’m sure I’ll like most of it. I’ll be trying the following fragrances:

African Sunrise
Almond Joy
Angel Essence
Baby Powder
Balsam Fir
Birthday Cake
Black Coconut
Black Love
Blueberry
Butt Naked
Butterfly Garden
CK-1
Carolina Herrera
Cedar & Saffron
Cherry Blossom
Cherry Vanilla
Chocolate Brownie
Chronic - Hip (don’t ask me what the hell this one smells like but I can’t wait to find out!)
Cinnamon Bun
Coconut
Cotton Candy
Dragon’s Breath
Dream Catcher
Egyptian Dragon
Enchanted Forest
French Vanilla
Kush
Lick Me All Over
Midnight Lover
Mulberry
Musk

Tom did his own research on incense, oils and supplies and came up with Nature’s Garden and they seem to have a good variety and reasonable prices. Looks like ordering should be easier too, because it’s just a list with a checkbox where you check what you want. With the others, you had to go to each one separately and it would take forever to order a larger quantity. They also let you create a wish list so you have the option of saving what you haven’t tried yet to it. They have something like 800 fragrances and knowing me, I’m sure I’ll want to try at least 600 of them over time, haha. They don’t sell incense, though, or blank sticks. They only sell reed diffusers. I would likely get sticks from someone else, but get oil from them because their prices are lower. You can get anywhere from 2 ounces to 25 pounds. I’m going to get their 2-ounce bottles which are $2.65 each but not right now. I’ll give them a try in a few months. If I go making and burning incense like crazy despite how much I love the stuff, I won’t be able to breathe.

I still have pain in my mouth. That can’t be right. Something’s got to be wrong. But if there’s anything up there trying to keep the appointments going, it’s not going to win. It’s weird because it sometimes seems to radiate from my upper jaw and down around to my lower jaw. Sometimes it comes on its own, but it’s usually triggered by food or drink.

They turned the water off later than they said they were going to, but I was going to bed at the time so it didn’t affect me in any way.

When I got up at 8:30 and was waiting till it was time to have coffee, I heard what I thought was either people cheering or kids screaming. My first thought was that the stroke house was blasting their fucking TV. But when I looked out the window I saw Trisha had four vehicles at her place. Birthday party or something? I thought I would be in for a lot of door slamming, but everybody left while I was in the shower.

After my first day of going back to eating four times a day every three hours, I’m down a pound. I’m going to see if I can do this diet until I see A, so no eating out for me until then. By the time I see the doctor, I should know if my body is able to lose more than just a few pounds or not without getting severely anxious. If it can’t, then it’s not worth doing this diet all the time except for when I creep up a few pounds like I just did.

I’d love to be under 150 when I see her but I don’t see how I could do that in just 40 days. That would mean I would have to wake up at 146 or 7 the day I saw her. I’m 154.2. The best I can do is 150 if this keeps working and I’m able to stick to it, and that’s a very big IF.

I’m trying really hard not to think in the realms of, “Sooner or later you’re going to get anxious as hell, and if you could just stand to stick it out, you’ll lose 10 pounds in no time.”

Regardless of how she acted when I saw her and what my gut feeling was saying, there’s absolutely no way Kathleen likes me. She may later seek me out as a friend (although I doubt it), not that we would have been more than friends either way. The point is that I guess I can’t always trust my gut instinct after all. I always sensed her niceness went beyond simple friendliness, but that obviously wasn’t the case. She would have remembered my name, remembered when I was scheduled to come in, bought my books unless she doesn’t have a Kindle or hates to read, and would have contacted me by now. If I really liked someone that much that told me to feel free to look them up, I would have at least contacted them and said that while I understood they may not be up to shopping anytime soon, I just wanted to say hi, etc.

Last night I dreamed I was walking along a beach. I walked along the shore which was flanked by hedges. When I noticed several bees flocking around the hedges it made me uncomfortable so I went out into the water.

Tom and I were in some building. I don’t know why or who it was, but we agreed to let this person know when we were ready to be picked up and taken who knows where. The way we were to let them know when we were ready to go was by waving a flashlight back and forth in the window.