Kathleen called and my first thought was that she was going to want to reschedule my appointment. Instead, she said my retainer was ready and that I could come in and try it on. I’ll give her a call later and explain that I wasn’t going to pick it up until my appointment next Tuesday unless I can go in this Saturday. Might as well wait till Tuesday, though. I’m sure they’ll be okay with that.

I almost didn’t confirm my appointment in the email I got to see if it would prompt her to call. Realizing how silly that was now that I’m totally sure I’ll never hear from her outside the office after having time to reflect on it and remember that she does work for me and that old patterns don’t usually change this late in life, I went and confirmed. But then there she goes and calls me at 4 o’clock, a few hours after I crashed.

From the sound of it, she may have already undergone that inevitable change. She sounded more serious and less cheery. In some ways, she almost sounded hushed and rushed. Not much of a difference yet, though, compared to how drastically Stacey changed.

Even though I no longer think she may like me and I don’t believe we’ll have a simple friendship, I still sometimes wish some unbiased person had witnessed our interactions to give me their opinion. In some ways, It’s hard to believe I was wrong about her being attracted to me. I was right about Stacey, after all, and I’m still a pretty intuitive person who picks up on these things and just things in general. But if I had five unbiased witnesses it sure would be interesting, being the curious person I am by nature, to see how many would say they thought she was or wasn’t just being friendly.

At this point, despite the feelings I got from her words, actions and the way she’d look at me, I don’t see how she could be attracted to me. She would have contacted me, unethical or not. While it would have been nice to have her as a friend I still think it’s easier not to bother and to just keep to myself. So, history repeating itself in a sense is a good thing.

Even though women can usually be friends with those they’re attracted to as opposed to men, who prefer all or nothing, the pattern is clear. The number of women who have blown me off or left the area if I didn’t leave first shows there’s a very good chance that something up there definitely doesn’t want me interacting any more than I did with them to begin with.

Last night’s dreams:

Worried that Dr. A might see my dream notes and become thoroughly confused if not worried for my sanity.

Flying low over a foreign country and reading all the foreign writing on the stores in buildings.

Being sent to a jail that didn’t seem anything like a typical jail for something I did to some company.

Tom works with a 30-year-old Indian lady whose native language is Punjabi. She was recently started on levothyroxine and I told him to warn her of what can happen on the stuff. While many people have had the problems I had, and have doctors that don’t warn them up front, most people take it without issue so he didn’t see the point in scaring her.

Anyway, she’s going to see my dentist the day after I see her. She said that when she scheduled the appointment (we’re surprised they’re getting her in so soon), they asked how she found them. I’m guessing she spoke to Kathleen. She said her coworker’s wife referred her and gave her my name. I wonder if I’ll get some kind of discount for the referral. A couple of years or so ago the dentist sent letters out saying anyone who referred anyone to her would get a $100 discount. Either way, she’ll be in good hands.

Tom wondered if the office was a little too “white” for her but if that’s the case maybe she should go back home. Seriously, though, I’m sure the staff will have no problem whatsoever with her. Not only do the vast majority of people not have a problem with those of different colors and cultures despite the media making it seem otherwise since it’s the haters we hear more about, but I’m also pretty intuitive in that kind of way. I highly doubt any of them would give a shit about color, nationality, or sexual orientation.

She does, however, know the people next to them who do henna tats which many Indian and Middle Eastern women get.

It was funny because she told Tom they asked him what they should call her. Her name is Pawandeep and I guess her family calls her Pawan while others simply call her Deep. LOL, Well, Deep is in deep shit if she accumulates a little too much thyroid medication in her system or has pocket flares within the gland. I don’t think she has Hashimoto’s, though. I think she had an entirely different situation. Some kind of growth on the gland. She also couldn’t stop gaining weight. I can’t lose weight without starving, but I was never at the point where I was gaining out-of-control, and there are no growths or enlargement of any kind in my case. Hopefully, she won’t have any issues with the meds, especially once she hits perimenopause.

I’ve been feeling well but I’m now full-blown watery. I hate this going back and forth with the water, but as I read, it’s part of crossing over into menopause. Really hope I lose the water eventually for good. The only thing that sucks about feeling calm is knowing that sooner or later the anxiety is going to get me again right along with another period. I’ve never gone longer than 3.5 months since I went into peri, and I only did that once. That was last fall. I would be really surprised to make it to the 20th of this month without a period. You know I never get any breaks and I never get off easy in any way. I’m going to have periods later than most women.

For the longest time, I criticized those who would come to this country and be too lazy to learn English. Yes, I still do think a lot of them are just plain lazy, but I’ve also come to realize that not everyone has the knack I have for languages. Tom, who is a genius in many ways and way smarter than your average person, could never become fluent in any language other than English even if he lived in the country that spoke it. So yeah, they’re not all “lazy.” Being around a bunch of mathematicians wouldn’t make me good with numbers any more than being around a bunch of cooks would make me a good cook.

We’re really excited about this thing that Google is about to release, being the tech junkies that we are. It’s an earbud with a microphone where I could talk to someone who spoke only Japanese, for example, and the voice would translate my English to Japanese for them and vice versa. That is just so damn cool! Maybe it would be fun to use when watching movies in foreign languages so we didn’t have to read the subtitles. Of the many languages I’ve studied, I don’t know any of the Asian languages so I could try it on that.

Our phones print out what people say in voice messages to us, so you don’t have to listen to the actual VM if you don’t want to. I’m amazed at how accurate it was given how fast Kathleen spoke the message she left me. She said over 63 words in 17 seconds.

I played it for Tom and he agrees her voice is a bit obnoxious because it’s high-pitched. It’s a very friendly-sounding voice but otherwise annoying. Stacey definitely had the better voice.