Once again I got up earlier than I intended to, but I did sleep 8 hours. I’ve been up since 2:30 and I’m waiting for Andy to call. He’s gone out to get himself a pack of cigarettes. We’re going to make some calls. He is, I mean, by using his 3-way. Of course, I never got to Food Mart last night but I figured Kim would back out anyway, even if I didn’t. Who knows if I’ll go tonight? At least I still have some food and right now I’m cooking chicken wings.

I wish I knew when I was moving and when all this court shit will be over. I want to move more and more as I’m isolated and abandoned more and more by Kim. I’m really pissed off about her getting me all psyched up about my ear operation. She really put on a good I’m-all-excited act and I of all people should’ve known better. I’m supposed to know people better and not rely on them, but her act had even me fooled. She really seemed just as excited as I was. You don’t do that to someone who’s always wanted to hear out of two ears. I feel so let down by her and so disappointed in her in so many ways. As I said, she has her own life and I respect that, but she should’ve told me she’d be too busy to do much of anything with me rather than lie. When I remember her saying how she moved me up here cuz Mark’s so quiet and boring it makes me laugh. What a joke.

Later...

Andy and I are making calls now together. We are using new phone names. He’s Paul and I’m Shauna instead of Daryl and Lisa. He’s going to leave a nice long message on Nervous’s boss’s machine all about Phoenix. It’s been so long since Nervous has heard from his favorite femmy. It’s about time, when he least expects it, to get a message. He’ll love it.

Later...

He is leaving Nervous’s message now and he’s reading from a magazine skipping every other word. Of course, he’s bringing up other fond memories such as how Sasha broke his desk drawer, Tracy borrowing $20 and the grand old time he had being our slave at the bitch. We’ve been calling people in PHX with funny last names. I also read to them from my journal skipping every other word. He’s getting tired so he’s calling Nervous cuz he’s probably at work now. However, Dick, his boss, will probably answer.

Later...

I just hung up from Andy who’s going to sleep now. We tried calling Feinstein’s Leather, but the machine still picks up. I was hoping one of them would answer but they probably know it’s us calling and are there but won’t answer. I called Nervous two days ago at Feinstein’s and he answered telling me he’ll call me within the next few days. I hope so. Two days ago, I also spoke to Fran and told him I couldn’t get a hold of him. I asked him for the number once again and sure enough, as I figured, he had accidentally given me the wrong number.

Man, oh man, is it raining out there. It’s been coming down hard now since I woke up. I’ve got this drab and sluggish feeling like most people get when it rains. I hate damp dreary days such as this unless it’s in the heat of summer. Then it’s more of a relief when it pours like this in the summer. I feel very tired as if I could take a nap. I’ve got to stay up, though. If I were to fall asleep I’ll be sorry and I’ll have my schedule fucked up again. On the other hand, I’ll set my alarm and only allow myself a 2-hour nap. After that, I’ll make myself get up.

Later...

I decided not to lie down. About 20 minutes ago, the phone rang and I thought it was Nervous’s boss calling to chew me out about Andy calling since they only knew how to get a hold of me. It was Tammy instead. She told me she ended up in the ER after an attack and told me everything they did. It was exactly what they did to me and they gave her Alupent and other stuff. They gave her shots, too. She said this all happened yesterday, but it’s acting up again. Now she realizes how scary it is, she told me. She said she can’t even smoke or move and I told her that’s the worst stage and the only way to get better is to go to the ER. Time is either your best friend or your worst enemy with asthma, just like with heart patients. Once it gets really bad like that, it won’t go away without going to the ER for an updraft and an injection of Ventolin. I told her to keep me posted.

What a boring day this is going to be. I wish I could get my shopping over with right now. Right this very minute. I also better go into Greenfield and sign up for fuel assistance from November-March. I’m quite sure I’ll be here through the month of November, so I’ll sign up. I hope to hell I’m not here through December and January as well. I’ll miss this apartment, but I’m so sick of being ignored by Kim 100% of the time. I only want to be ignored 70% - 80% of the time. Most of the time, not all the time.

I hope someone gets me an electric typewriter for my b-day or Chanukah.