Good to know Christiane wasn’t swallowed up by the Austrian avalanche after I messaged her, primarily in German. She said those people were “off the track.” She heard about the fires, too. Must’ve been an unwanted reminder of my existence for Nane, LOL.

Interestingly enough, my boobs aren’t as sore as they were before. It’s almost like my PMS is reversing itself. I still think I’ll get another period sooner or later, though.

My groin rash is driving me crazy. It’s definitely not connected to the LS. It’s more fungal or heat-related. They say body size doesn’t matter but somehow I get the feeling being so fucking fat doesn’t help. There’s simply no way I could ever lose weight and keep it off, though. I’m way past those days at this point. I would have to be seriously ill or have a disease with the opposite effect of Hashimoto’s.

Pussy itches every day, too. Without Tucks, I’d be clawing myself to death. Trying that on the groin but doubt it will help. Only hydrocortisone seems to really help but you’re not supposed to use that long-term. If I could, I could kill it and keep it away. As soon as I stop treating it, it worsens. How bad would it get, I wonder, if I never treated it at all?

Ended up being more anxious than usual yesterday but today I’m fine, thank God. I guess it was just because I hate that time of week. I hope that’s all it was, anyway!

I wish I could come up with fresh story ideas. I have the time for them and great tools at my fingertips yet no ideas come. The few that do, don’t last long and they’re basically spinoffs of the same old shit I usually write. Maybe I ought to take the beginnings of some of my stories and give them different endings.

I’m amazed that I slept well because my earbuds broke. Ordered a couple of cheap pairs for sleeping, one from the same company in red, and one from a different company in pink. They were both $12.

The only dream I remember was returning to a beach with Tom, Christine and maybe someone else. It seemed like we lived in the area. As I was walking from the car down to the beach, a boy of around 10 walked by and I thought he looked pretty tough for his age. I wondered if he could take me despite being shorter.

Then I headed toward the shore and stuck my toes in the water. I thought to myself how it had really warmed up in just the few days we were gone. I dove into a wave and found I didn’t surface as fast as I expected too, assuming I had gotten “caught in a swell.” Pretty sure I eventually broke through the surface. I seem to have a lot of dreams like that where I dive into a pool or an ocean and I can’t get back up. Or at least not when I think I will.