Stupid cock with a loud car still can’t go a day without visiting mommy and daddy but I’d say it’s definitely not living here. It just left for the night (at 6). So now it doesn’t have to make its own dinner.

Chatted with Aly earlier. She’s on the edge of the polar vortex I’m so glad we’re nowhere near. Wow, -40 degrees in Wisconsin? OMG!

Still having some itching and especially burning down there and I’m not sure why. On a list of no-nos for those with lichen sclerosis are hot chocolate and cocoa. Well, that’s what my Sugar Babies K-cups are so perhaps that’s part of why I was on fire earlier. Damn, I’m so fucking sick of my crotch torturing the shit out of me so much of the time! It’s better than yesterday, though, and I didn’t have any Sugar Babies today.

So I guess Ray realized he accidentally gave my message a thumbs up and decided to give it a thumbs down today which I replied to with a 😂. I expected to be blocked at that point but I wasn’t. Doesn’t the grumpy old fart know he can do that?

Really hoping we don’t need a new car anytime soon but the car’s ‘check engine’ light keeps coming on, suggesting something could be wrong with the transmission. As Tom said, transmissions aren’t worth fixing on older cars but if worse comes to worst, we grab a used car for three or four grand to tide us over for the rest of the time we’re in the state.

Right now my schedule is really pissing me off. I totally believe that it was not only cursed upon me not only to stop me from making money but also to make my life harder. Looks like I’m going to have to reschedule my dentist appointment though I should hit Dr. A with no problem. The question is whether or not I should in the first place. I’m thinking I might message her a week beforehand if I’m still stable and ask if I can bump her appointment up to June which is when I would have normally seen her and when my next round of blood work is due anyway. But then maybe I should go and show her my groin rash because it keeps trying to flare up as fast as I treat it, so as much as I fear medication, I’m wondering if that’s the only way to get rid of it for good. I would still worry that it’s just going to keep reoccurring so IDK.

I don’t regret the guinea pigs much at this point but I definitely regret the rats because they’re just so fucking timid. Just so, so timid. I knew better too, so why the fuck did I go and get them?

Tom was saying that in order to help him cut back on eating he’s sort of playing a game where he has only so many days to ration out only so much food. I told him he oughta pretend he’s on probation and part of its terms stipulates that he must do 10-20 minutes of programming a day or else his ass gets hauled to jail. I’m serious too, LOL. While I’ll never be on probation again, think of all the things we’d get done if we had no choice but to do it or run!

I’ve totally lost all control of my own weight. I try to take it as easy as possible on the food, and I could walk and walk all day, but the weight is definitely mine for life.

The problem is everything is bad for me because it’s either high in cholesterol, high in sodium or not good for LS.

I was so tempted to message a friend of the black bitch’s in Arizona from the Nicole account, pointing out all the ways she and her friends messed up when pretending to be from the police department, but she would only block that account, preventing me from tipping her off when it’s time to read my story, assuming she’s even alive then. She’s only four years younger than me.

Also, I absolutely cannot go to jail should they set me up. Not only for obvious reasons but I didn’t have the health issues in my 30s that I have now. Now I need daily thyroid medication which they would conveniently happen to take weeks or even months to give me, and I doubt they would give me anything for my LS or the glasses I need just to see where I’m going.

Went out walking earlier. A large woman with an old chihuahua stopped and chatted for a few seconds on Tandy and so did a very frail woman further down the street, telling me to hurry up and get my walk in since it’s going to rain tomorrow. Yes, it is! Looks like we have a rainy few days coming up, something I have mixed emotions about. The roof could leak, the place will smell of old wood since I think the attic has water damage, and the humidity will make my lungs tight because they’re not used to humid conditions. But I do like the rain otherwise and we certainly need it.

Had a weird dream that made no sense at all. I started off in a large room where a few full-size beds were laid out side by side. I was supposed to spend the night in the bed on one end by the door leading to the rest of the house or whatever it was. I was to sleep with this young woman. Nothing intimate or anything like that, it’s just where I was to sleep that night.

The girl was in her early to mid-20s and was petite with straight long dark blond hair and light eyes. As the few others that were in the room mingled about, we laid on our backs chatting with a small dog she had between us, and I smiled and said, “This is nice.”

She squeezed my hand with affection and then the girl was suddenly searching for running apparel on her laptop. I asked why she was looking at running apparel since she wasn’t into running and the girl said, “No, but you are. I want to get you something as a token of thanks.”

I told her she didn’t have to do that and showed her how solid my calves were. She poked and prodded them with her fingertips, inspecting the muscle.

Then the girl got up and packed some stuff into a bag because she was going out somewhere. As she was doing this, I said something about her cutting off the bed space and not leaving me much room the last time we slept together, so what should I do if she didn’t leave me much space that night?

“You do nothing about it because it was my space to begin with,” she told me.

Then she took off and I studied the room and decided it was ordinary-looking but stylish. I thought to myself that I might hang some things on certain sections where the walls were bare.

Then the bed turned into a car which I backed out of the spot the bed had been in and drove to the other end of the long room. So about 25 feet. Then I was worried that maybe I shouldn’t have moved the car and that the girl wouldn’t like the spot I moved it to, so I racked my brain trying to come up with a good excuse for moving there in the first place.