We’re planning on taking the glue gun and gluing the side guards down to the tray pans. Whoever designed this cage was a real idiot. The skeleton of the cage is great. But to have these Snap-On guards in which the bedding squeezes through and makes a mess almost as much as with no guards at all is ridiculous. That and the mesh are definitely a must where the pigs are because they kick out way too much shit being bigger than rats when they run around when they’re either playing or startled which is pretty much every other minute. At least they’re calm when I hold them.

The rats, on the other hand, are horrible and I totally regret getting them. Totally. We never ever had rats this timid before. Ever. I put them in the birdcage and brought them into my office and placed them on a corner of the desk to try to get them used to being around me. Right now they’re showing some true cower power by squeezing themselves into the corner farthest from me as if I’m gonna beat the shit out of them.

What the fuck was I thinking when I got them?! Damn, I’m sick of this shit and I should have known better. Not only that I’d get timid rats but I don’t have the energy I used to have. Why do I keep getting things just because they’re cute? I hate how hard it is to tell them apart, too. If I was going to be dumb enough to get them, I should’ve gotten one of the white ones. Fuzzy is a touch lighter with a bit more white. He’s slightly smaller, too.

They definitely make for adorable office decorations, but I don’t think they’re going to get much braver. Tom feels confident they’ll do what we want if we train them and show them that they’ll get treats for interacting with us, but believe me, I know enough about rat personality to say for sure that they’re not going to want treats bad enough to bend to our desires. A rat is pretty much how they’re always going to be and you really can’t do much to change that any more than you can change most people. You could probably make a brave rat timid if you abused it, not that I can imagine anyone in their right mind wanting to do that, but I think there’s only so much you can do with a timid rat. They’re only going to get so brave and so sociable. Fuzzy is definitely braver than Woody, though. The fact that I haven’t seen them playing is just as weird as the pigs not drinking from their water bottle.

I really ought to try to train myself to just deal with the regular wake-up calls from traffic and do away with the earbuds because they irritate me at times and I often catch a wire with a hand or an arm when shifting positions and knock them loose. Besides, when we move to Florida I’m going to have to deal with thunderstorms waking me up and traffic. Even if we were suddenly on a low-traffic street, there are so many loud vehicles these days that the odds of one traveling on it regularly are way up there. I really should just reserve the earbuds for when it gets close to appointments and my sleep is more important. Yes, being tired makes it harder to do physical things like working out and all that, but it’s kind of relaxing at the same time and makes it less likely for me to get anxious since it’s sort of like a sedative.

Had this weird dream we were living in some kind of duplex only instead of the units being side by side they were stacked and we were on the second floor. It was a cold, dark morning and Tom had just left for work. I was listening to music that was playing out of the oven of all places and it took me a minute to figure out how to turn it off.

Then I turned off all the lights because I was getting tired and it was coming to the end of my day. I walked up to the living room window and placed my forehead upon the windowpane as I looked down at the street and saw the shadowy form of a guy standing there that I assumed was waiting for the bus or a ride from someone. I jumped back for some reason even though I was pretty sure the guy spotted me and even waved to me. But for some reason, instead of returning the greeting, I was creeped out by the guy’s presence.

I quickly told Alexa to turn on the living room light and then the bedroom light right after I commanded her to turn on the living room to try to trick the guy into thinking someone was with me, but I asked her too quickly and she failed to turn on the bedroom right after turning on the living room.

I also had a dream that Tom dropped me off at some mall to purchase a $15 water bottle for the animals. The store only accepted cash when I went to pay for it and I found I was $2 short. An old lady standing next to me offered to pay the two dollars, but I decided not to bother so I left the water bottle there and went to call Tom to pick me up. Then I realized I didn’t have my phone with me and made a mental note to take it out with me even though I would only use it for urgent matters since there was nothing else that couldn’t wait till I got home.

So then I went in search of a phone. I asked some guy if I could borrow his phone to call for a ride and he handed me his phone. But then I couldn’t remember Tom’s damn number so I was hopelessly stranded at this mall.

Feeling bad for Aly. She’s likely to get laid off, though she’ll still get money from nannying and has Cam and her parents. I wonder if she would have struggled as much if she’d gotten a regular job with regular benefits a long time ago.

I asked her if she thought Cam was the one and she said she didn’t know as much as she’d like to settle down.

He isn’t then. When you meet the right one, you know it. I just didn’t tell her that, of course.

The thing is I don’t know if Aly is exactly relationship material to begin with. She may be intelligent but she’s awfully - well - I don’t know if unstable is the proper word but yeah, she has one crisis after another and is pretty emotional and sensitive. I know what it’s like as I was once there but she’s in her late thirties, not her early twenties.

The rats started moving around a bit but only Fuzzy took food from me. He finally trusts me enough not to keep a wide eye on me. Woody is still keeping a constant eye on me. Actually, he’s getting too tired to keep watch, from the looks of it. Wait! Now Woody’s up taking food from me. Ah, progress!