Loud car came in at 9:30 yesterday and left about 4 hours later, so that shoots down the job theory. The parents are home regularly so I don’t know what “work” they could possibly be doing for them unless it’s something online. I think he’s just an insecure, clingy slacker who’s afraid of being on his own like I’ve always thought. I don’t know how the parents can afford to pay for their place and his but maybe he doesn’t have his own place. Maybe he just sleeps around at various friends and family members’ homes. Still, someone’s got to be paying for that gas, car maintenance, and those cigarettes. It costs a fortune these days to be a smoker even if you don’t smoke much.

Instead of planes yesterday I got to listen to hammering and sawing behind the house. There were two unmarked white vans parked at Lawrence’s place and Tom’s guess is that it had to do with plumbing. No planes this morning either so I’m guessing they’ll be back since there’s always gotta be something. :( It’s supposed to be very cloudy today but I’m getting conflicting reports as far as rain goes. I think if it does, it won’t be till tonight.

The new blood pressure cuff is definitely giving me higher readings than the old one, so that’s $25 wasted since I probably don’t have an irregular heartbeat. I might have when the meds were really fucking me up but not these days. Tom’s trying to break in the wristband on the new one which is easier to read with the way it lights up. It squeezes a little tighter too, but not in a bad way. I don’t mind being squeezed on the wrist as much as I do my upper arm.

When I was reflecting on the decades yesterday and thinking of the positive and negative highlights of the 90s, 00s, and 10s, since I was only an adult for half of the 80s, I’m not sure if I can say each decade gets worse or better. Obviously, in some ways, they get worse, particularly when it comes to health, though money and wisdom improve.

It took me a while to decide if the 90s were worse than the 00s and I would say yes, they were, even though I was in jail in the 00s and we lost our home. In the 90s, I enjoyed the excitement of leaving New England, quitting smoking, meeting and marrying Tom, going to Nevada and California for the first time in my life, dancing, winning karaokes, getting into rats, getting the ear canal I later came to regret along with braces, and of course I was still thin and didn’t need glasses. Nor did I have the kinds of conditions and diseases I have now.

However, I had to deal with asthma and allergy attacks early in the decade, lack of sleep, noisy neighbors (especially at the Phoenix house), a frustrating sex life, and the depression of wanting the kid I could never have which was overwhelming at times.

As for the 00s, I got to enjoy the excitement of picking out a house together, even though we technically picked it out at the very end of the 90s. I could still see well for most of the decade and was gaining weight but wasn’t as fat as I am now. I got to win some pretty cool prizes. Then came the excitement of leaving Arizona and then leaving Oregon.

But the freeloaders and the financial crises we went through were pretty damn depressing, infuriating, frustrating and sometimes scary.

The 10s are proving to be the worst decade of my life. With less than a year of this decade left to go, I hope I will always be able to say that this was my worst decade because that would mean the rest of them will turn out better.

This has been my most comfortable decade financially (for the most part) and I feel a lot more secure and like I’ve matured and learned quite a bit but there’s so much bad to this decade ranging from disappointing to annoying to frustrating to absolutely terrifying. What I went through with my thyroid medication, perimenopause and anxiety were by far my most terrifying experiences.

This decade I’ve also lost a lot. My vision has really gone to hell, my weight has gone to hell with it, my libido is gone, and I don’t even have fun but harmless little crushes on anyone anymore to throw in stories, be it people I may see in person, online or wherever. I live in the noisiest place I’ve ever lived in and have so many different diseases and conditions that range from annoying to possibly life-threatening if I don’t treat it. I have to dye my hair regularly if I don’t want to be gray just yet, my ear gets uglier and more noticeable, my joints bother me, and of course there are the LS, TMJ, and other shit. I can’t even see where I’m going without glasses, and my cholesterol and blood pressure sucks, too. It takes longer to pee and, well, I could go on and on. Aging truly does suck. Nothing much is new and exciting. I do the same old things in the same old place almost every single day. I thought aging would be exciting but not quite, LOL. At least my teeth have improved!

An hour later…

Here are the vans again. I knew they’d be back. How often do people have one-day projects around here? You know, it would really be nice if people could take one month here and there to just live in their houses instead of having them worked on so often. So…on goes the headphones so I don’t have to listen to six or seven hours of hammering, sawing and door slamming.

Decided to separate the rats and pigs again because it looks like Tom may have a point in them feeding off each other’s timidness. Noticed they were all more fidgety than usual and more resistant to being handled. Separating them may cut down on some of the mess and definitely the rats hoarding.

Just getting really sick of having pets that only want me around when I’m feeding them! What was I thinking? I should have known better. I don’t know if Tinkerbell is really out there all jealous of the rats that came after her and determined to make sure they’re unusually timid, but I always knew after losing her that no rat would ever come close to comparing to her, and the two that did either died or had a stroke. A dozen years later and my prediction has proven to continue to ring true, so why did I go and get them? I should have gotten just one or two guinea pigs and left it at that if I had to get anything at all, and I really didn’t. The fish was enough.

Quit the Hawaiian course. I just couldn’t get into it.

Managed to walk without getting hip pain. No backaches today either. Instead, I got to have a bout of the runs, though I’m not sure why. My only guess is yesterday’s watermelon. It is starting to look a bit old so I won’t even let the animals have any.

Let’s see…what else? I polished my nails a deep aqua color and soon I’m going to go work on painting the figurines. Not bothering to mix colors anymore for larger areas because it’s tough to get each batch exactly the same shade.