Slept well again but I really think it’s only because of the weather and also that the loud car hasn’t been around lately. I’m sure we’ll hear it this weekend for sure.

Had a major breakthrough with the rats, especially Fuzzy. He’s become way less timid and way more curious, friendly and social. First rat I ever had that started off so timid and seemingly hopeless that became so much fun. Tom thinks it’s because they were so much younger when we got them than what we usually get that I was able to train them. I can really see how the kid that trained Tinkerbell and made her the gem that she was got her used to being around people. She wasn’t bought from a chain but from a family-owned store in which the owners’ kids handled the babies.

I’m sorry I started off a bit regretful of getting the rats and will enjoy the short 2-2.5 years they live. What’s with Fuzzy’s curly whiskers, though? LOL, they’re pretty curly compared to most rats.

The rats have been here one month as of two days ago. Definitely want to start feeding them blocks soon after seeing how long the 3 stooges lived on them. Gonna go easy on unhealthy treats too, to help prolong their lives and keep them from gaining too much weight as they age.

While it would be better if it didn’t rain in case the roof decides to leak, it’s going to suck when it stops. It’s been keeping things so much quieter. But after today it’ll probably be back to tons of loud traffic and planes galore. :(

I’m still looking for some kind of fun activity to do mostly when I’m alone and don’t feel like doing anything else. Something I really look forward to doing that I’m not going to get sick of soon enough. It’s just that nothing that may have appealed to me in the past appeals to me now. So I think, think, think and my mind always comes back to role-playing where I basically play pretend as I would when I was a lot younger. Maybe “act out” some story ideas. In the past, I would make like I was hanging out and chatting with someone I may have wished I’d known or that was totally imaginary.

But what would I chat about with this imaginary friend that often? And how would it be any more entertaining than talking right here in my journal or on Bubbly?

Oh yes, Bubbly. I almost wish I hadn’t told Aly about that site. I realized she could find the second account I created if she ever decided to use the site regularly so I stopped using it. But I can’t know if she’s checking my main account there from time to time or not.

As crazy as it sounds, the idea of role-playing makes me hesitant because I would feel like I was being watched somehow. I know it’s ridiculous as who the hell would be watching? I’m sure Tom has no reason or desire to hide cameras and spy on his wife so I don’t know why I think I would feel that way, but I just do.

Thought of using my “pic powers” again as that would surely pass the time because that’s more than just pretend, but for some reason, I don’t think it’s wise to go down that road again after so long. Don’t know why I feel that way, but something just says it’s best not to bother.

As Tom suggested, I can always return to the clubhouse once the weather clears up. It’s just that they seem to want me to be consistent with workouts and I hated doing the routines to the same music every single time. Maybe I’ll just go at random times but not with a specific plan in mind. Perhaps I should try again to check out that arts and crafts thing. I did get the backpack for the supplies after all.

Still not sure what I’m doing for Camp NaNo in April but I’m doing something either way. For now, I’m just trying not to think…five more years. Five more long years is how much longer we have to be in this cold, noisy place. It’s better than jail and I know I won’t get much more peace no matter where we end up, but that still doesn’t mean I look forward to another half a decade in this place.

Or anxiety. Yeah, I was fine yesterday, but today, after going back on my meds after 2 days off, I’m a bit on edge again. :(