I was last anxious on the 26th of last month, so any time now it’s going to return. Sandoz makes me better but not perfect. So far, 4-8 weeks is as long as I can go taking a full dose daily without issue. I would be truly surprised and delighted if I made it past the end of next month without being anxious, but I know that’s just a dream. No problem, though. I’ll just cut my dose back till I get close to my next round of labs. I got this now. Yes, I really do. :) :) :)

Poor Dixie and Diane. Dixie said Diane fell at her program yesterday morning on her face, had to go to the ER for X-rays of her face and upper body, and the doctor was adamant about her “boarding” Diane, saying that one person can’t care for her. Dixie is obviously heartbroken, although she knew this day would come. Sadly, it makes sense since Dixie’s really getting on in age and barely able to remember things and how to take care of her own self.

I hate to think of how horribly lonely she’d be without Diane. I feel so bad for her and I worry for her for the same reasons I worry about us getting old and to the point where we can’t be self-sufficient. Dixie and I both know all too well that the places that take people like Diane, as well as nursing homes, can often be abusive. There’s always at least one person there who’s going to treat the residents like they’re a burden instead of people who need help living their day-to-day lives. There is a Donna A in all these places and that one Donna A can make the dozen Michelle Ss seem pretty powerless. That was the math teacher that took my roommate Denise in and almost took me in as well before my bitch of a mother decided to give me the privilege of letting me come home.

Almost done watching the Simone Biles story on Hulu and it’s pretty inspiring. Not to get into gymnastics, of course, but just to get back in better shape. When I went out last night, my little red running shorts were tighter than ever, and I felt a bit breathless and out of shape. Too many days off really makes a difference, so energetic or not, I’ve got to make a point of being more consistent. I can build my stamina back up and lose the 2 lbs. I gained quickly and easily enough. Can’t lose any more than that, but I can certainly lose inches and get myself in better shape and that’s what I intend to do. I’ve put together a strict regimen, but I’ve spaced it out in a way that won’t seem so overwhelming. This means sprinting on the treadmill for 1 minute every half hour, walking for at least a half-hour be it indoors, on the treadmill, or a mix of both, and then alternating between a half a dozen or so Bowflex exercises every other day.

Even brushing my teeth means not standing still. No reason I can’t do some squats and leg raises while brushing. I get that I’m in pretty good shape for one who’s almost 54 and wouldn’t be considered heavy by most people, but that doesn’t matter. The point is that this is good for anyone to do and I know it will make me feel better. :) So just a little cushy or not, I’m determined to be more active. I just may have to ease into this routine over the next few days rather than jump right in if I don’t want my hips to be killing me. I still have some joint issues to consider.

Tom is working from home this evening, but probably not for long.

Finally, a detailed dream I remember. I was able to keep a schedule and therefore a job as well. I work second shift, though I don’t know what I did. One of my coworkers was Margaret M from Valleyhead of all people. I hated her. She was a mean evil witch like her sister Donna. Yet Margaret was sweet and kind to me in the dream. I ended up going to her place after work one night. Since it was late, I expected the others she lived with to be in bed and for us to have to be as quiet as possible. But the large house was lit up with several people milling about as she went to fix us sandwiches. After that, she offered me a watermelon-flavored drink and I said I’d love to try it since I usually stuck to the same boring brand to save money or something like that.

Then she disappeared to talk to some others and left me searching the various cans of drinks that were sitting on the table and countertops in search of the one that was for me. I couldn’t find anything, so I had to ask her about it.

I also asked what time she was planning to get up in the morning. She said she was “ahead of schedule” and would sleep until 7.

“Then once we’re awake enough, you’ll drive me home since I don’t have money for a cab?” I asked her.

“Mmm-hmm,” she said, even though I could have used my card to pay for an Uber or something.

Then I went upstairs where it was quieter, realizing I should call Tom and let him know where I was so he wouldn’t worry about me. I thought maybe he wouldn’t notice that I hadn’t gotten in if he crashed earlier but realized he would definitely be worried if he didn’t see me in the morning. So, I pulled out my phone which didn’t look anything like my phone and it began “warming up” and searching for contacts.

Then I had some vague dream about sleeping in a large bed with Kim and Aly in a large room, although I don’t know where we were. Aly was in the middle. Kim and I both had sound machines running, each playing a different nature sound, while Aly remembered that she had to go give some paper to someone in an office (in a hotel?).