Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Not the least bit surprisingly, I didn’t sleep well at all. Woke up several times, once or twice to pee, and I’m pretty sure traffic got in on the wake-up calls as well. I’m experimenting with having Alexa play different sounds along with the main sound machine, but I’m not sure that’s going to help. My fatigue is too extreme to be just traffic and having to pee, and I know it’s low thyroid as well.

Also, I’m now thinking my nails do have a fungus but more likely some kind of disease. The purplish-brown spot on the thumb is the same but It seems the tannish-colored spots are “moving” around at random. I’m a pretty observant person and I did not have that spot on the right side of my left middle finger yesterday that I’m now seeing which means part of the problem is the nail bed. I haven’t been doing anything different or putting anything on my nails that could do that, and I gloved up doing the incense.

I want to question whether or not I really do have polycythemia because that’s not something that should be on my record if I don’t. I agree with Tom that even though I do have a few of the symptoms I read can be associated with that disease, I was probably just dehydrated and that elevated my RBC. Polycythemia is a rare blood cancer for fuck’s sake. It’s not dire like breast or cervical cancer, but I don’t want something like that on my record if my numbers were elevated due to a little dehydration. No, I don’t want to get a second opinion if she says that is what it is, but I’ve always believed that it’s important that things you don’t have not be on your record and things you do have be on your record so that in the event of an emergency, not that I expect any, doctors are as up-to-date as possible.

Read more on PV and the right upper ab pain I sometimes get isn’t likely connected if I do have it because it’s not only too low, but PV is on the other side. PV patients’ spleens sometimes enlarge, so that’s why they can get pain there.

Made the incense, and it’s a good thing I saved the cutter because I had to cut the oil in order to completely coat the sticks. The 4-oz bottles weren’t quite enough, so I took each scent and poured half a bottle on the sticks, which are in tin pans, then I filled the rest of the bottle with cutter and poured the whole thing on the sticks. Let’s just say it smells damn good in here and I don’t smell any trace of rodents!

The Buttered Rum, Cedarwood and Suntan Lotion smell right on. The Coffee Caramel and Creamy Chocolate Cupcake also smell as they should. The Blueberry almost smells sugary and I would never know that the Merlot was Merlot. It almost smells like cherry candy. The Mayan Musk is absolutely beautiful, and the Earl Grey Tea is good but has a hint of lemon in it which I don’t usually care for. Still has a nice refreshing smell to it. I’m Too Sexy is hard to describe. It almost has hints of Mecca or Majmua in it. Fortunately, it’s all good. There isn’t anything here that smells bad.

Even though it’s not like I ignore them, I sometimes feel guilty for getting pets. Not the fish but the rats and pigs. I feel like I’m too tired to give them much attention, and on days I’m not, I’m in a hurry to catch up on things I know I’ll soon be too tired to deal with once again.

Tom’s up now and we chatted some. We both agree a lot of the fatigue is low thyroid and that while traffic doesn’t help, it’s not all that. My joints are getting stiff too, and oh, the brain fog. :-( I’m thinking of taking full doses until I feel the anxiety setting in since fatigue is still better than that, and I now have a better sense of how to control it by lowering my dose a touch. Since I’ve gone weeks in the past on full daily doses without issue, why deprive myself until and if I get anxious? I’ll take full doses, make sure to do my EFT daily, then back down to 50s when I start getting bad until the spell passes.

It’s now been 3 years since I had all-out panic attacks. If that can improve, hopefully the “stabbers” can too. I’m less than a month from menopause, so that should help as well as my lady hormones finally make their way home and settle in for the remainder of my life.

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