Went bike riding together for a quick but fun ride. We covered nearly a mile and a half, and our top speed was close to 15 miles an hour.

We’re having a cool spell and are only expected to get up to 69 degrees tomorrow. We had some rain tonight as well.

Been hearing more car stereos and motorcycles around here and even some commercial planes. The planes are likely due to the weather. Only heard 2 or 3, though.

Tom made us much better masks out of old T-shirts. Instead of going around the ears, you tie it in back. Much more comfortable! I have an old balaclava I was going to cut the crown out of and sew the mouthpiece of but then decided not to bother. Besides, that thing is made of knitting. They recommend cotton.

Tom asked me which I would choose if they both cost the same…a root canal or for them to just pull the tooth. Well, I suppose I would take the root canal since the other option could lead to more potential trouble than the root canal. I just wish I didn’t have to have anything! As soon as one problem goes away, I get another, and it’s always one fucking thing after another.

I get sick of seeing certain people like Kim that are nothing but selfish, lazy pests that never have a goddamn problem in life other than an occasional cold. You can take that health, I reminded myself, remembering certain spells I cast upon some people, but I swore I would never do that again. Karma would only bite my ass tenfold. Besides, I have no way to know what would happen and no way to call it off if I wanted to. She would get something, but would that be just a few more colds than usual or something serious? It’s not like I want her to get really sick and die or anything like that. But come on! I don’t care that life is supposed to be unfair. I have atresia, asthma, allergies, a sleep disorder, shitty teeth, a dead thyroid, high cholesterol and blood pressure, plus I’ve been through a million other things and all she has is extra weight? Well, fuck that shit. Get ready to do a little suffering because just thinking about it is going to make me pissed off enough to change that even if I didn’t want to. I mean, I know I shouldn’t want to. I should just be happy that she’s healthy and probably will be for many more years to come, right?

I’m mostly worried about money and pain, especially the pain since I’m not one of the lucky ones to get many breaks in life. I’m tired of suffering. I don’t know that it would be that easy to get a dentist willing to at least give me laughing gas for a root canal. A chill pill, sure. But are there many who would be willing to go as far as IV sedation or at least laughing gas for a root canal? Well, Tom is going to find out Wednesday. When I get up tomorrow and take my last penicillin, I’m going to call my dentist and let her know that while I’ve definitely improved, I’m still having sensitivity when I eat, especially if it’s not something soft.

Wednesday, Tom will call the oral surgeon she recommended and find out about costs, sedation, etc. I’m glad he’s okay with being the one to call because I may forget or not think to ask about certain things that might be important.

Definitely have some kind of lump or mass on the side of my left booby, but I’m not worried about it. I suppose most people would be freaking out over it and maybe I would have 20 years ago. Then again, I did have a pea-sized lump in that same breast but in a different area while we were in Oregon that eventually disappeared. I guess that’s part of why I’m not freaking out over it along with the fact that most of us don’t freak out as easily when we get older. Maybe another part of it is just gut instinct. My intuition says it’s nothing serious. If I’ve got my facts straight, most lumps, bumps and masses are benign. I know it could end up being a big deal later on down the road, but for now, I’m not worried. I just want to focus on surviving this pandemic and getting the hell out of here.

Tom reminded me that I could get a mammogram anytime, and I know that but that’s not the problem. Testing isn’t what worries me. It’s the off-chance of being told what I don’t want to hear when we’re trying to get out of here that I have a problem with. I still say I wouldn’t find out anything bad despite having a family history of it, being busty and just a little bit overweight, along with a few other risk factors. But just in case, I would rather get out of here or at least die trying, LOL. I don’t want to deal with anything serious that may require tons of appointments and treatment until we’re out of here and settled wherever, assuming I ever did have problems and didn’t choose to ignore them. I already have enough appointments and things to do between my teeth, ENT and regular things like that. My ENT is next month. Don’t know how helpful she can really be since the thing is basically going to torture me for most of my life anyway. I really think the bulk of my problem has to do with damaged nerves and possibly inner ear tubes more so than TMJ, dead skin shedding in the canal, or anything else.

I was watching a Lifetime movie where a woman was diagnosed with HPD. I’ve never heard of it before and when I looked it up, I immediately thought of the termites and a few online trolls from the past. They seem to have some of the symptoms. It’s the bipolars and those with Asperger’s that I’ve had the most problems with. Intense and constant mood swings are one thing, but it takes things to a whole new level when you deal with those who are extremely paranoid and accusatory like Lisa and Marie. Then again, Lori on Facebook has Asperger’s and she’s never been a problem like her cousin who also has it that damn near wanted to take my head off for declining her request for a texting buddy. I turned her down because I didn’t have the desire to have more than the few texting buddies I already had, and I knew she would overwhelm me with tons of senseless, silly, rambling and repetitious messages. Furthermore, I never felt any real connection with her. She always came off as both unintelligent and uninteresting. I may not be the brightest, sanest person on earth, but there are limits to what I’m willing to put up with. I guess it’s kind of like associating with someone who’s had a speeding ticket as opposed to someone who’s been convicted of a violent crime. Anyway, she took it all wrong when I politely told her I didn’t have much time for texting. She took “no” as a personal insult and attack against her, and I finally had to delete her.

I get that some people would consider me narrow-minded and a bit cold-hearted, but I do understand that most of them can’t help the way they are. I just also believe that one should have the right to be selective. Just like it’s okay to be picky about who we’re intimate with or who we date or marry, it’s okay to be picky about who we’re friends with as well.

Etta, Bill’s sister, has a couple of accounts on Facebook. I’ve messaged both warning her to be careful of Tammy and her equally mean and crazy offspring, and included the link to my blog. My hope is that she’ll alert the termite to it. Honestly, though, I don’t even know that she’s seen the messages. I’ve messaged her before so she’s either not getting them or ignoring them.

Been having fun creating a recipe board on Pinterest and finding different things I want to try. I picked out some things I knew Tom would like. Because he hates so many different things, I can’t include him in many of the recipes. He’ll gladly eat the next one I’m going to try and surprise him with when we get groceries delivered on Wednesday and that’s going to be creamy scalloped potatoes. Potatoes are the only vegetable he’ll eat, and bananas are the only fruit he’ll eat. He wouldn’t dare touch fish or seafood either. He loves carbs, processed foods, and basically everything that’s bad for you, LOL.

I tried to get Molly’s Facebook link, but instead, she asked for mine. So “Penny” made up some story about thinking of making an account in a bogus name because of her ex.

I’ve always known Molly was stuck on herself, but she’s proven all the more to be the selfish emotional shitstorm she’s always been by never reaching out to Penny first. She only communicates with Penny if Penny does it first. Guess that means Penny doesn’t have to worry about being stalked by her! I think she’s busy being fixated on the usual people anyway. She’s still pretty hung up on Roman and Josh. But hey, at least she always responds.

She also brings up her attack regularly and wonders if her life would be different and if she would have ended up in Marbridge had she not been attacked. I think the way she is has a lot more to do with it than just being attacked. I think she’s naturally fucked in the head. She’s just a natural emotional firestorm. If it wasn’t being attacked she uses as a crutch, it would be something else. Even she admitted she’s a very emotional person. She’s always got something to cry about or to be pissed off about.

Had a dream that we were moving only it didn’t make sense because it was just an hour’s drive away.

Then I had a dream I was driving alongside a steep mountainside. I don’t know where I was going but Tom and I felt I would be safe and feel comfortable enough since I would be traveling on the same road the whole time with no chance of getting lost and very little traffic.

Along the way, I was frustrated because I eventually ended up with someone in front of me who was driving too slow that I couldn’t pass. Then they made like they were pulling off at the side of the road much to my relief, but then they jumped back out in front of me. I could see two people in the passenger seat. I was worried they would hold me up the entire way but then they zoomed ahead quickly.