Wow, I’m really losing weight here. Yeah, it’s called the infection diet and it isn’t any more fun than the anxiety diet. I’d much rather feel well and keep my weight. So yesterday turned out to be incredibly shitty. Ironically it was the fourth, too. Went through just about one of the worst pain in my life. Not even my worst period cramps were ever that bad. With the exception of when I broke my arm, I don’t even think my ear surgery hurt that much.

We got to the dentist’s office shortly before 10 but no one was there yet. I began to get a little worried since I was in so much pain and didn’t think to take my phone with me. But at 10 on the dot, the doctor and her assistant Dana showed up.

So I waited a while as they set things up that hadn’t been used in several days. Their software did an update that fouled things up, so it took a while to get their computer system going. Then Dana checked my temperature which was 96.9 and had me use a special mouthwash.

I had been pretty sure it was the cavity in my lower molar that had somehow expanded and got infected, even though it seemed a little weird that I would get infected since my body is pretty resistant to infections and I take good care of my teeth. But I knew I had way too much pain for a simple problem. Plus, I’ve been having fatigue no matter how well I slept.

So they got an x-ray of that tooth which was also a problem because I’m small and they eventually had to get the kiddy paddle, a slide shaped like a paddle. They had to take a few pics because one of the roots near that tooth was longer and not fully in view.

The dentist looked at the picture and didn’t see anything unusual. Nothing seemed to have changed since I last saw her and she discovered the cavity. I was confused as hell because I knew that such severe pain had to mean something was up for sure. Yet she did a bite and air test along the bottom right teeth and I didn’t have any sensitivity to it at all.

But then she moved to the back upper molars and it was a whole different story. Like through the roof kind of pain!

So off I went for another photoshoot with her telling me that when there’s a problem in that area it is hard to differentiate which tooth is the real culprit. Sure enough, I’m in for worse news than I bargained for. Oh, I’m infected all right, but it’s not a matter of giving me antibiotics and then filling a simple cavity gone haywire. The root is dying, and she recommends a root canal. She started me on penicillin and said to let her know if I feel I need another round after my 8 days of this one are up. The reason they can’t do anything until they cure the infection is that being infected renders the numbing agent worthless. Guess that explains why ibuprofen has done me little good.

I was so pissed at myself because this is pretty much my fault. The root isn’t dying due to decay but bruxism. That’s when you grind your teeth in your sleep. Someone got lazy and forgot to sleep with her mouthguard one too many times and that’s what did it. I had no idea that bruxism could lead to nerve damage and infections but apparently, it can. I thought the worst it could do was damage the teeth but nope. So I’ve been mentally beating myself up for it. Yeah, I could really kick myself to hell and back!

Anyway, I was freaked out by the thought of getting a root canal done because I’ve heard such horrible things about root canals. Andy said they were very painful. Tom was quick to point out that Andy wasn’t a good one to go by, but still.

She doesn’t do major tooth repair so she gave me a referral to an odontologist if I decide to go through with the root canal she recommends since as a dentist her first choice is always to try to save any tooth that can be saved. Plus, she gave me a referral if I decide to have it pulled. This would be my eighth extraction. It would be a tough pull if I went with that because it is a molar. As long as they’re not impacted, wisdom teeth are the easiest to pull, then incisors, and then molars because they have double roots. I could end up with the tooth below it lifting since it wouldn’t have anything grinding down on it, but it would definitely be cheaper. Tom looked up the cost with our discount cards and it would be $200 to pull it and $800 to get a root canal. For a fleeting moment, I almost wished my parents were still alive because I know they would want to pay for some of this.

Another reason I was freaked out about a root canal was because of a documentary I saw about a guy who had one years ago that didn’t feel well for years and it was discovered that it was because of the root canal. The dentist knew the documentary I was talking about and said she hates it when people see that because that case was in Australia and they do things differently there and in New Zealand than they do in the US.

Dana said she had a trauma many years ago and fell and had to have a root canal and that it was painless and no big deal at all. Unlike bridges, crowns and fillings, it should last a lifetime. The doctor said that rarely do root canals fail. But then I did more research to find that yes, they can fail even years after having it done, and no, they don’t always last forever. I thought the entire root and tooth would be dead, but it’s actually only the root that they kill. The tooth is still alive and therefore could still be a problem in the future and get cavities.

I looked up a quick video on YouTube about the general procedure and how it’s done and read the comments. Most people did confirm that it’s not a big deal and a few even said it was easier than fillings. That doesn’t make sense. There’s a lot more drilling with root canals and it takes about an hour to do just one tooth. But that’s what some people said.

She assured me that the oral surgeon could use the numbing agent without epinephrine and all that but since that particular tooth has a crown on it, I’m even more tempted to just get rid of it.

Really, I need to find a better solution for these fucking teeth! I was born with bad enamel. My teeth have been a problem all my life and they will only continue to be if I don’t look at something more long-term like getting the molars replaced at some point with partial dentures. They just get worse with age and I could end up spending more money and putting myself in more pain if I try to keep up on them. If flossing and brushing religiously aren’t enough to keep cavities away, what is? Hopefully, I’ll never again have damaged nerves because I’ll never again sleep without my mouthguard. Last night, I had no choice but to go without it, though, because I was in so much pain from what the dentist did to diagnose me that I couldn’t even put the slightest pressure on that tooth. You don’t realize just how often your top and lower teeth touch each other until you’re trying not to let that happen, and with the guard, I would have to open my mouth even wider to keep that from happening. I was just falling asleep when my jaw began to close, and the pressure caused enough pain to wake me up.

She said that when I start feeling good is when it’s time to call the oral surgeon. I was in so much pain last night that I started to feel like I would never get better. You could have taken a hammer to my teeth on the other side and it wouldn’t have made a difference because I was in so much damn pain to begin with. I don’t think I’ve ever even had cramps that bad. Other than when I broke my arm, not even my ear surgery was that bad. Definitely just about the worst pain I ever experienced.

I haven’t been able to eat or even drink much, and I appreciate the weight loss and I certainly could afford it, but again, I’d rather just feel good and be able to feed my hunger. I had a piece of bread and sipped some OJ as well as an Atkins shake out of a straw so I could aim the liquid away from the infected area. I’m starving now and hoping I can eat something with substance later on.

Anyway, I haven’t made my final decision yet, but right now I’m leaning toward pulling it. Yes, the bottom tooth could lift and throw my bite off but if it does, then I’ll just have that tooth pulled as well. Pulling two teeth would be cheaper than one root canal, and I would be rid of that crown too, as I said. Pretty sure that’s the one that popped off when I was flossing. Both options have their good and bad to them. If I went with the root canal, not only would that cost more money, but since they would have to poke a hole in the crown, I’d have to run back to her to have that refilled. She is going to be reopening this month so I could get that taken care of if I went that route and she could take care of the two cavities as well.

I’ve taken a few doses of penicillin so far, trying to ignore the fact that one of the numbers on the huge pills is a 4. I took Doc O's advice and didn’t look at the list of possible side effects, but I did see on the bottle that it could cause diarrhea, even weeks or months after taking them. I’d rather that than something blowing up my heart and making me feel absolutely terrified or downright suicidal but hopefully I’ll be okay. I’ve taken a variety of antibiotics before in my life. This is the second time since the 90s. I was in way too much pain to give a shit about my medication phobia anyway. I told Tom, who has a phobia of dentists and hasn’t been to one since he was a kid, that if he ever gets this, he too would be running to the dentist real fast.

I asked about the laser and it’s actually a type of water gun. Dana said it’s a lot like that and it does make a sound sort of like a popping sound but the kids love it. That was comforting to know because I know that at least one of my cavities is going to be lasered.

Also, according to my research, the county quack who pulled my other molar nearly a decade ago lied. The teeth aren’t lodged in the bone. Instead, they’re attached to the bone by what’s called the periodontal ligament.

Anyway, I’m a little stressed out right now. I’m thrilled and relieved that I’m starting to feel a little better, but I have a decision to make and either one I choose is not going to be fun at all. Do I go the cheaper route that can potentially cause additional problems? Or do I take the more expensive route that can be a bigger pain in the ass but safer? Well, hopefully safer.

I just worry that this is the start of many problems to come that could delay us from moving. The more money we have to shell out, the more it could very well hold things up. He did get his first retirement payment, I’m happy to say, but still. We’re not getting nearly as much as we need to cover the basics, let alone dental issues, and there’s no saying how many months it could be before he’s working again. It’s like something is trying to deplete our savings!

Woody appears to be dying. I noticed he started getting skinny and lately, he’s been sleeping more and eating less. I don’t even think he’s been up in the hammock recently. He seems to spend all his time down below in the plush bed that I put in there. I’m wondering if he’s got cancer or something.

Right after I got up, turned the sound machine off, and headed into the bathroom after just 6 hours of sleep after being up 21 hours, I heard the motorcycle blast out. My guess is that as long as it doesn’t go by the bedroom, it shouldn’t wake me up. After all, it didn’t wake me up coming in. It usually comes in after midnight at leaves between 3 and 4 a.m. They’re rude fuckers, whoever they are, and I don’t care if motorcycles are their only means of transportation either. You shouldn’t be coming and going in any neighborhood but especially in an adult community in the middle of the fucking night.

We’ve been having Walmart deliver small orders every few days. I wonder what free goodies they’ll bring today. I love how they’ve been adding extras. The last time around it was 15 plastic food storage containers. Plus, they gave me two tubes of M&M’s instead of one.