We’ve got a heatwave coming through with triple digits getting as high as 106 dgs. Should be hot until the 30th.

Tom has had a tremor in his hands for a while but lately, I’ve noticed that sometimes his head has a slight shaking to it as well. He’s getting a little old for Parkinson’s so hopefully, it’s nothing serious. I’ve asked him about it, and he says it’s nothing. I hope he’s right! Having to worry about my shit is enough.

Yesterday I asked the pharmacist at Rite Aid his opinion on my nails and unfortunately, he said what I came to suspect it is…a fungus. He recommended Lamisil and said it might not work and I may need the pills that Dr. A mentioned I might need. You only take a couple of them, but they’re supposed to be particularly hard on the liver.

When I got back, I checked my Documents folder and found I tried Lamisil to no avail in 2017 on my toes. But my toenails are worse than my fingernails, so we’ll see. Aly said it helped her toenails after a couple of weeks so that gives me a bit of hope. After a couple of treatments, there might be a very slight improvement but it’s too soon to say for sure.

He recommends calcium for the lifting. I’ll get some caramel calcium chews with the next grocery order.

It’s also looking like my stomach pain was caused by a lack of fiber because while I was at the store, I grabbed a can of cannellini beans and it’s better today. Not perfect but better. I had one normal dump and one that was slightly runny. What I call the partial runs.

So much for saying my body won’t let itself under 155 because I woke up at 154.6, interestingly enough, even though I’m not dieting.

Just a little concerned with whatever my throat/neck situation is. I can see swollen lymph nodes, and I get that they extend into the sides of the boobs which would explain the sore spot at the side of my boob, but why would I feel irritation at times in my throat when I swallow? That’s the part I don’t get. So I decided that if my neck/throat/boob doesn’t improve with fixing my tooth, I might see if I can bump up Doc A and get finding out about it done and over with. This way they can fix anything that may be wrong or tell me it’s nothing and ease my concerns, so I don’t have to sit here worrying and wondering all the time. Oh, it’s something, alright. The question is how much of something it is. Hopefully, it’s something simple that won’t require any treatment. I know I should just take the free boob squeeze but I’m still hesitant. Right now the lymph node thing is my biggest concern.

Trying not to overdo the complaints, concerns and stress over my health and teeth to Tom because I know it gets to him. If there’s anything he’s always been really bad at handling, it’s complaints of any kind. He just doesn’t want to hear it. Be it me bitching about noise or my health, it brings him down and puts him in a bad mood and I don’t want to do that to him. So I’m going to make a point of just toughing out whatever I can. Yes, it sort of bothers me just like it’s always bothered me that he’s quick to defend whoever I’m upset with, and I also know that someone could be bashing the shit out of me right in front of him and he wouldn’t say a single word. So yeah, it bothers me. But he is who he is.

My chicken marsala came out okay if you like white meat. Not something I’m going to make again so I’m hoping the slow-cooked pork chops I’m making right now will come out better. They’re cooking in a mix of cream of chicken, ranch dressing mix, chicken broth, and garlic.

Last night’s dreams were the usual mix of negativity. Facing living alone or thinking about it as a real and scary possibility (I would never let myself live alone. If I wasn’t in jail, a nursing home, or a funny farm, I’m dead, but definitely not alone), cops showing up to execute a search warrant while someone was visiting me, me in a hallway in some building the cops were storming through.