Another shitty sleep with multiple wake-up calls although I’m not as tired as I was yesterday. Didn’t wake up to noise but three times to pee - yes, three times - and then just because. Even though I’m mostly anti-pills and afraid of side effects, I’ll keep the Calm Forte pills in mind Aly recommended. Checked them out on Amazon and they have great reviews. The problem is that I drink Sleepytime tea before bed since it would be pointless to drink it a few hours beforehand, and then I have to keep getting up to pee it off.

Going back to my Flintstones vitamins because I don’t think Centrum Silver is helping.

The biggest thing Tom and I think it is right now is appointment stress. I’m over-focused on trying to control my schedule and it’s messing with my sleep. I could pretty much guarantee you that if I suddenly had no appointments, I would start sleeping better. Maybe not great but better. I’ve got to try to convince myself not to worry about my schedule and let it work itself out on its own like it usually does. Also, it’s okay to be tired that one day. After all, it’s just a dental cleaning so all I have to do is kick back in the chair and open my mouth. But yeah, better to be tired one day than multiple days.

Other factors include the stress of sleeping so close to a busy street as well as an uneven mattress. I just don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a new mattress for less than a year since we intend to travel as lightly as possible.

Had a dream my TSH score was 54. I hope that’s not a sign that my thyroid is dying off some more! Hard to believe it would be 54 with treatment when it was 32 without.

Kim is causing trouble for Aly by accusing her of harassing June. She would have told me if she had done that just like I would have told her if I had, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that neither of us has the desire these days to create fake accounts to troll others. I do intend to share certain journal excerpts with the termites in the future but I would only do that from a bogus account if I unblock them and see that they’ve blocked me. Aly and I have matured, Kim has not. She never will either and the only one harassing June is likely Kim herself. She always lashes out at those that call her out on her shit.

As I told Aly, the emotionally/mentally ill are utterly frustrating and exhausting to deal with! Kim’s memory issues, contradictions, stupidity, and especially her lies, really do get old. I understand they go way back and so do Kim and me, and I’ll miss some things about her but not much. The lying alone is a huge deal-breaker for me. Even if I catch someone in a few white lies, that alone can dampen my trust in them, and it can take months or even years to repair my trust in them depending on how they treat me in the future. But whether she’s too fucked in the head to help it or not, she tells one big black lie after another and I’m like, whoa! I don’t need this toxic drama in my life any more than I need vengeful, narcissistic drama queens like the termites. Still not sure I’m ready to go so far as to block her on Twitter and PB, especially when she can just create new accounts. She gave Aly emails and passwords to three Facebook accounts she wanted deactivated that she had created in just a few days. Damn! I don’t understand the obsession with creating dozens and dozens of accounts on the same site. Aren’t one or two enough for anybody? What can 50 accounts do that one or two can’t?

As I said, I’m not going to put that much effort into hiding from her. I would rather ghost than actually do anything because blocking or saying anything could trigger a much worse reaction than ghosting. Blocking is a form of action because of something she’s done, and I don’t want to resort to that unless absolutely necessary. I shouldn’t have bothered to block her on FB, but it doesn’t matter because she’ll probably never use that account again and will only create others. I’m just hoping she’ll be punished for more than a few days, but I wouldn’t be surprised if sometime next month she contacted me.

Aly’s excited to start her new job as a preschool teacher.

Speaking of things that never end like the constant race debate, I don’t hate black people. Seriously. I hate black women. Well, not all of them. But when I think about it and if I’m really honest with others, and most importantly with myself, I’ve never had a problem with black men other than with boom stereos. I’ve even known some black guys who wouldn’t even date black women because so many of them are bitches. Now, I’ve known some really sweet black women. Don’t get me wrong. But yeah, any blacks who have given me shit were women. Girls in Valleyhead, one of my foster mothers and her evil friend, the Phoenix neighbors. A lot of them seem to be naturally vindictive, hateful, narcissistic, egotistical and arrogant in my honest opinion. I would rather sit in a room full of 50 black men than just a few black women.

“People You May Know doesn’t use things like your current location, info from third-party apps or search history to make friend suggestions. People on Facebook won’t know you’ve searched for them or visited their profile.”

Wow, really? That only adds to the mystery of Facebook, though. Dixie swears she’s never created a Facebook account, yet Dixie T was recommended to me. No, I never looked for her but how did Facebook know I knew a Dixie T? I never would have mentioned her full name on Facebook for any reason, and we certainly don’t have a mutual workplace, nor are we tagged in the same photo or members of the same groups, which they say is what their suggestions are based on.

When Doc H, Holly and Shannan were suggested to me, I first thought it was because I messaged them. And then I thought no, it was because they actually read my messages since they weren’t suggested right away. The doctor is still being recommended, but for some reason, Holly and Shannan aren’t.

Here’s where it gets really weird. One of Doc A’s nurses was recommended to me. Now what common ground do we supposedly have? Maybe because she works for Mercy Medical Group and I once shared a review of my old endo there who also works for that group?

And what about a complete stranger in Scranton, Pennsylvania being recommended to me? Unless she’s a member of the few groups I follow, I’m not sure why she would be recommended. We don’t have any mutual friends.

As I’ve recently mentioned, I’ve often wondered if the dream I had in the 90s with my grandmother telling me to pick new goals and dreams was really her from the other side. The more I think about it, though, if the dead could communicate through our dreams, why not more messages like, “I love you and I miss you?” Or how about, “Don’t take those vitamins, take these instead because they’ll be better for you?” Why not that instead of just, “Pick new goals and dreams?”

Tom needed a few things from Amazon so I’m getting more nail strips. It’s just a $6 pack with a set of gold metallic nails and a set of silver ones.

My weight is now starting to go down but that’s probably because I’ve been totally in ketosis these last couple of days. Maybe it would gradually keep going down if I stuck to it but just like it’s hard to stick to a low-calorie diet due to being hungry, it’s hard to stick to this because of the lack of variety.