Tomorrow we will have been here for 7 years and today marks the anniversary of that scary day.

Where are my mood-influencing abilities when I need them? Really, I just want to smash that fucking cock across the street. Then I want to smash it again with the damn saw he’s annoying the fuck out of me with.

Started to think I was influencing Kim’s health just by being angry at how unfair it is that she gets everything handed to her on a silver platter just to be in great health while Aly and I have suffered, but I guess she’s had the tendonitis she mentioned on and off for a while now. Also, just like she happens to like everything we like, she has every problem that her sister and mother have as well. Well, she thinks she does anyway.

I crashed around 6:30 a.m. When I got up 5 hours later to pee, I could hear the fucking saw whirring loud and clear. Then I lay in bed until 12:30, unable to get back to sleep because I was stressed out. Tom was in the room farthest from it with his headphones on, so of course, he didn’t hear it. He swore he wasn’t home when he was out tending to the bushes earlier and that no one was home right then either when he stepped out to check, and the saw wasn’t in the carport. It took me a few more hours to fall back asleep. It’s amazing I’m not as tired as I was yesterday. I fell into a deeper sleep than the day before, but I do remember a 2-second dream where I was titling my journal entry something like All Bad News. I hope that doesn’t mean anything! Oh, and I was kissing my old endo in some dream as well, LOL.

Anyway, it’s got to be tied in with his job. Cock cuts something, throws the saw in the shed or his van, and then takes what he’s cut to wherever.

Tom was saying that it’s not only him doing the sawing and while I do know that sadly, but circular saws have also become a popular toy amongst older people as drones have with younger people, I can tell when it’s him.

Then an idea came to me that I’m sure Tom’s not going to like any better than the direct approach being from the West and therefore mostly anti-complaining. Plus, he’s paranoid. I, however, think the odds of any potential buyers questioning him in particular aren’t that great, and besides, they would be talking about the park, not who was moving out. The idea is to leave an anonymous note in his carport asking him to lower the frequency of the sawing. Would it work? I have no idea. But this way, even if he suspects me, he can’t know for sure who it is if I drop it off in the middle of the night. Unless he’s got cameras with night vision, no one should see me. The area by his door is lit up but most of the carport is pretty dark. I could just toss it into the carport, and he can assume the wind blew it off his door or something. Of course, we would deny it if he came over here asking if we were behind it, but let him know that while he’s here, yeah, it does get a little loud and often.

Another benefit of this is that we keep the park out of it. The office will just counter-complain if I go through them.

In the evening when I got up for good, the blue truck, gold SUV, and a white pickup were visiting but they were quiet.

As I told Tom, if it was December or January that would be one thing. But we still have eight or nine months left in this place. When we move to the tester place and we’re listening to annoying projects there, then I could tell myself it’s only for a few months. But we still have a long time left here.

I just get tired of feeling like I have to keep my mouth shut and grin and bear it just so people can have their fun. I think that sometimes it’s okay to do what’s best for us and not worry about how others may react. As he always says, you can’t control or predict others. Well, I say that sometimes it’s okay to put us first. Not sure letting him make a racket at my expense and just sitting back quietly and taking it cuz of a conversation that will probably never happen is best at least for me.

It really is a lot more peaceful at night during the summer here, though I’m still hearing some fireworks at night. That doesn’t mean as peaceful as other places I’ve lived where I didn’t hear a damn thing most nights. But compared to the winter when the only peaceful hours are between 12:30 a.m. and 5:40 a.m., it’s a definite improvement. There are still some loud motors and helicopters.

My parents would have been absolutely livid had a motorcycle blasted in during the middle of the night. They would have been at the office for damn sure. I’m sure it was practically unheard of back then. The world has changed big time. I never expect a place to be 100% quiet, but it would be nice if at least anything that did penetrate the walls of our place was soft enough to be drowned out by a simple fan running or something like that. I’m tired of having to blast this or blast that just so I can focus on things in the daytime and be able to sleep whenever. We’re going to have to get acreage to do that, though. Then we’ll trade in the circular saws and other projects for barking and engine-gunning, but a few hundred feet away is definitely better than a few dozen.

Dixie emailed me a message saying that “a car with flashing red lights stopped by the turkey tree and lit up her room in the middle of the night and she never heard it leave.” Also, did I get mail from Linda about the break-ins we are supposedly having?

No, we didn’t, and as I told her, the red lights that drove past the big Cali oak that the turkeys sleep in were actually the paramedics that came to Lawrence’s place at that time.

She also said she stopped by the Twenties (as in stopped in her SUV as she was going by and spotted them outside). Because she’s disabled, she rarely goes to other people’s places. She said they seemed bothered by her stopping by and asking for information on these supposed break-ins I’ve heard nothing about. Sometimes I wonder just how with it she is.

Sure enough, Walmart screwed up when he went to pick up my meds and he had to make them do it again, giving me Sandoz. He said it didn’t seem like Mylan or Lannett, but something else he’d never seen before. Yeah, something that could have me feeling anxious in a week and then wanting to die in another week. No thanks! Besides, every time I go back to Sandoz, I get the only side effect that goes away after a few weeks and that’s lightheaded. Looking back on all the lightheadedness I suffered a few years ago, I can’t help but wonder if some of it was because they were switching brands on me back and forth, and not all due to the peri.