My little Fuzzy buddy is gone. :( It wasn’t long after I got up that we noticed he was in the opening of his burrow appearing weak and struggling to breathe. At that point, I could kick myself for not letting him go last night.

Tom quickly set up the euthanizer which is a bottle of vinegar that he cut a hole out for inserting a funnel into as well as a plastic tube in the opening that he sealed with a glue gun. The funnel is for slowly dispensing the baking soda into the vinegar and of course, the plastic tube goes into the cage for the colorless gas to flow out of. You don’t have to cover the tank because carbon dioxide is heavier than air. You just have to make sure you don’t put in too much baking soda at once otherwise you’ll suffocate the animal, and it won’t be much better than smothering them with a pillow or something. You want them to fall asleep, then go unconscious, and then suffocate. He got the exact measurements online.

Anyway, what broke my heart was that before we got him into the tank, he gave out a little squeal and appeared to really be in pain and struggling to breathe as his body convulsed and his tail flapped around. Then he went still but I could see some traces of movement, suggesting he was still breathing at least a little. By the time we finally got him set up in the tank, I don’t know if he was dead or had gone unconscious. Tom said he noticed breathing and was most likely unconscious but not dead. The euthanizer worked fast as it was supposed to. The whole process only takes a few minutes.

I just feel horrible. Not just for the loss of the adorable ratty that lived 773 days but because I wish we’d acted sooner. Maybe it would have spared him some suffering but at least it’s over now and he didn’t seem to suffer for long.

He’s buried outside between the master bedroom and next door’s garage. I hate the sound of that shovel slicing through the dirt, but I’ve heard it many times. It’s a sad sound to me.

So now it’s just the pigs until next month. It isn’t that I don’t like the pigs or would wish any harm on them, of course, but I definitely don’t care about them in the way I cared about Fuzzy. When it comes to rodents, I’m just more of a rat person. It’s been that way since 1998 and that will never change.

On top of that, they’re going to be turning off the water from 9 to 5 on Tuesday to fix 3 water leaks. I appreciate that they’ve gotten better with warning us and that this shit’s happening less often but damn am I not going to miss it! Really miss the days of being able to shower anytime I want and not having to worry that the water may suddenly go off for one of these “emergencies.”

Tom was saying that it might actually be better if Trump wasn’t forced out of power because then Pence would become president and he would have to pardon Trump. Trump may actually stand a better chance of being convicted of something if they leave things alone until the 20th.

I get what he’s saying but I highly doubt he’ll ever have to answer for a damn thing he’s ever done. As Tom said, though, the most important thing is that he’s not president after the 20th. Still can’t believe how crazy, hateful, delusional and downright mean this little cock is. Just as scary is how many followers the sick fuck has. How do you do this shit and end up with so many people supporting and following you? I just don’t get that. But then Charles Manson had his share of supporters as well. There’s always someone willing to support anyone.

Feeling a little off again. It isn’t that I’m getting stabbed in the chest with adrenaline so much as I just feel a little off emotionally in the way that I only began to experience since taking this medication, so I might skip tomorrow as well. I just hate to fuck my metabolism up even more and risk inviting more weight.

Bad news from Aly as well and that’s that she tested positive for the virus. I’m not surprised but that’s great that she’s asymptomatic. Let’s hope she stays that way! This is exactly why we’ve been hiding as if we’re fugitives on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. The only unnecessary trips that we make are those weekly Rite Aid trips and we wear masks, mandated or not, totally foolproof or not.

Did some reading out of curiosity last night and found out something rather interesting about Facebook. There have been some people whom I’ve wondered if they’ve either muted or ignored my messages. Well, now I know they haven’t. I read that if you don’t see the “ignore messages” or “mute conversation” options in Messenger then that means that they have ignored or muted you. If you do see these then they haven’t. I noticed that some businesses that don’t handle support issues on Facebook that I’ve got automated messages from when I did try to reach out to them have their “ignore messages” options missing.

So Alyssa isn’t muting or ignoring me and neither is Doc O. But does this mean they’ve read my messages? I guess it’s likely.

Doc O just heard from me one last time. I told her about the brand issue and that I never did hear back from her son who I blocked because while he may have been perfectly harmless, I had no idea how he got ahold of my name or what his game was. I told her we were moving and wished her luck and that was it.

I haven’t messaged Alyssa in nearly half a year because I just haven’t been interested in doing so but I couldn’t resist saying hello to her husband when I was curious to see if his gym was open since I know that a lot of gyms have been closed and saw the email address listed.

I also noticed that Stacey created a second Facebook account for some reason. She’s connected to her son there but not her husband. Yes, I messaged her as well, letting her know that we were moving soon and that I hoped she was well. I added that I just turned 55 and maybe when I’m 60 I’ll say hello again, LOL. If she got the message, she’s making sure I don’t know it and I know you can do that.

Sharyn is back to her half-dozen daily posts and has completely ignored my message. Yes, I know it could be a glitch on Facebook’s part or that she simply missed it or didn’t get a notification, but I’d say the odds of that aren’t very good. Not sure what it was I said or did but since I don’t want to bother with anyone that doesn’t want to bother with me, I deleted the message.

Do I think it was rude of her? Yeah, I do although I can’t say I’m all that surprised. Just like with Phillip and Jennifer, people may talk to you once or twice and then they just ghost. I’m not sure why or if this is something that only happens to me, but it was definitely rude. She could have at least “liked” it or written a quick “Fine, thank you” or “I hope you’re well too.”