Other than the hell the freeloaders put us through and some financial problems, I think the best years of my life were between the ages of 27 and 41. As soon as we left Oregon, things went progressively downhill with only money eventually improving.

This may sound funny and even bizarre because it’s a thought that’s come at me out of nowhere but what if? What if I’m meant to have the same amount of years on the other side of the 15 good years that aren’t so good and then that’s it? That puts me signing off at 68, but I just can’t see that. Late 70s is more likely.

It’s amazing how much 12 fewer micrograms a week can make a difference in my metabolism. I’m already noticing slight changes in my weight and my body temperature. This goes to show why it was so easy to have this shit hit the fan with an additional 84 a week. However, I haven’t fully adapted emotionally yet. Obviously, I didn’t have much anxiety when I went to the dentist because I was medicated. But yesterday I had some. If I haven’t adjusted in another couple of weeks or so, I’m going to want to drop another 88 and make it two 75s a week that I take. I would much rather be cold and struggle with my weight than feel like shit emotionally. Not all the anxiety is emotional, though, when I get waves of adrenaline in my chest.

I still worry that the anxiety and depression aren’t just the medication or menopause, but also the way I’ve evolved as an older person, which would be the worst-case scenario, of course. Medication can be adjusted. Hormones will eventually settle in. But we can’t adjust my age. Therefore, the next step is to look for a virtual therapist. If that fails to help, then I guess I graduate to a psychiatrist. If that doesn’t get me anywhere… well… I don’t want to say.

Meanwhile, I’m taking the supplements they recommended. Magnesium glycinate, Vitamin B complex, and folic acid.

Later…

So Mark died after all. He was cremated in Connecticut. I still can’t say where the hell they were living in the end. If they sold the place in Florida, then it was done privately because I can’t find any sale on it.

There were a couple of surprising things in the obit. His daughter, Stephanie, died. It had to have been some time after I was last in touch with the termite. I was unable to find any information about it. I guess she was in her early to mid-40s. A year or two before she died, she was arrested for trespassing.

Interestingly enough, his bratty stepdaughters were mentioned except for Becky. I wonder if that was intentional or an error.

So Karma is a real bitch, you termite, isn’t it? Your vindictive actions took me away from my husband for half a year, so I’m OK with you doing a good 10 to 20 in Widowland.

Seriously, she and her brood deserve all the misery they get. It’s common for spouses who have been married for many years to follow their deceased spouse to the grave shortly after they die, but I don’t see that happening.

I wasted my time leaving a nasty obit from “Bob” saying that I didn’t see why such a nice guy married such a crazy family since, after that, I read that Legacy deletes negative comments that they feel may offend the family. They’ll likely never even know about it.

Instead “Jim” left a comment saying he was sorry for their loss and told the termite he had some funny and interesting stories to share about Mark so she should check her Facebook Messenger. Also, look in her spam section if a message didn’t appear off the bat. The reason I did this is that I’m more convinced after a little test I did that the messages did go through to all the termites last year. But this way, if God forbid they all hit their spam box and none of them has checked that section, this will lead her to it. I think they did get it though, and that’s why she’s allowing public comments. I think she’s hoping to get something incriminating.

For a second, I toyed with the idea of saying I was sorry for their loss and what a wonderful book his SIL published about the family. But I don’t want them to know that I know what’s going on with them. This will be it, though. I’ve abandoned Mia’s account since I can’t delete it and won’t be checking out any of the termites ever again because there’s nothing else I care to see. I said what I had to say and that’s it. I’m not even curious about Nane anymore.