Started feeling a little down and then a little anxious (just took half a hydro) then realized that both therapists have blown me off and that that’s utterly fucking ridiculous and I’m getting pissed. So I contacted 10 more under “teletherapists for Florida” of all colors and ages in various parts of the state that are female. If all 10 blow me off, then fuck Psychology Today. I’ll then work on the next link they gave me. They gave me three links.

I didn’t sleep as hot last night but the fucking sound machine cut out twice, and during one of the times, I heard a thump. This is definitely one seriously thumpy place, but with so many houses so close, what can I expect? We just don’t know if the cutouts are on our provider’s end or Amazon’s or the nature sound company itself. I may cancel my subscription and just use the free one along with the portable sound machine. Anything that’s overly loud is going to wake me up anyway. I just need something for the soft and moderate sounds.

I had to give up on Thyself because it failed to prompt me the next time around and I couldn’t update things manually. It just quit working altogether. So I downloaded a couple of mood-tracking apps to my phone to try and made a spreadsheet in Word that I’m also trying. Tom and I were talking about writing a program that I can customize to my liking. I just want to keep it simple. Every few hours I want to note if my mood is poor, fair, neutral, good, or excellent. Then add a brief note about what’s going on if I want. I also want a way to tally up the various moods so I can see what I feel most often.

Ugh, here goes the first plane of the day. Please tell me I’m either going to get used to hearing them every single day once and for all, or I’m not going to have to live with them for the rest of my life. I thought the horrible weather most of the country was having was supposed to ground a lot of flights. I definitely don’t feel like this is Florida. It’s been cold and rainy all day and all night.

One of the biggest things that makes me feel so hopeless and frustrated is my non-24 sleep cycle syndrome. I don’t know why nights tend to be a problem for me emotionally, but for whatever reason, they are. Yet that’s something that’s totally out of my control. I’d love to get out every day even if it was just to sit outside in the sunlight and listen to the planes but this simply isn’t an option for me. I just wonder how much being able to do that might help me but I’ll never know.

All the VR games and apps are on sale now through the New Year. We both got a table tennis game and I got Brink Traveler.

Table tennis is a bit tricky and takes some getting used to. It’s still fun. We can play together or against an AI person.

The traveling thing takes you to explore 17 different locations. It’s cool to see, but there isn’t much to do once you’re there. You explored the places and that’s pretty much it. They still make great environments for meditation. That’s something I definitely have to do after I eat.

I planted the dill seeds but I don’t expect anything to grow as usual. It said to place them a quarter inch below the surface. So I used a diamond drill to poke them into the dirt.