While I’m watching a late-night talk show I thought I’d take the time to write. Guess who’s got a phone!?! Nervous!!! Yes, he’s actually got a phone! I called him earlier and we spoke for an hour or so. We had a really good talk and I told him how much I miss him. I brought up old funny memories and told him how much I hate it here. He says he’ll call or write and maybe try to come see me.

I called Andy to let him know that Nervous got a phone.

Tomorrow, I’ve got to go to the ER to have my blood level checked. I mean my Theodur level. If it’s too high it can be dangerous, says the nurse at the doctor’s office.

The thing that pisses me off about the buses here is that they go all the way around the city. There’s no direct route at all. If you have an appointment which only lasts half an hour, you spend all your time on the buses. You wait for the bus, travel all around the city, wait several minutes to transfer, then go through the same thing coming home. It sucks. It’s about 2½ hours just playing bus.

Later...

I think I’m gonna sleep without my earplug and let myself be woken up by next door as I must get the bus as soon as I can.

Since I have so much catching up to do, I’ll write a list of topics to write up on tomorrow, such as Pamela who lives next door, Laurie H, the talk with my dad, Fran, Andy, Ann Marie, and my nieces, feelings in general, ideas, thoughts, doubts and premonitions. I’m sure there’s much more that has currently slipped my mind. Little stuff too, like Barb and Dave who put my big AC in my living room. Barb’s son and his friend put my little one in my bedroom.

This guy who lives on the other side of the court gives me laboratory boxes from work for moving whenever the hell I do.

This girl at Price Rite had beautiful long hair and when I commented on it she said, “Yeah, I was just thinking the same about yours.” Hers was so thick and healthy and all one length. Just one more inch to the crack of my ass when you pull it straight. Can you believe it!

Mom and Dad sent me a package with super nice curtains, a cute little crystal lamp, a beach towel, tanning lotion and a pair of black shorts.

Jessie told me Steve moved to Chicopee and is fixing to move to California. She also told me how Steve calls her every now and then but she’s never asked for his number. She also said she gave him my number, but I have not heard from him.

Later...

I am really pissed cuz I cannot sleep! I am wide awake. Well, why don’t I begin with the stuff on my list then? I just remembered another thing I forgot to mention.

Tammy lent me her electric typewriter which is awesome. It’s got several really neat features and can erase one letter, one word, or one whole line. The only bitch is that the ribbon snapped so Tammy will fix it next week.

Every Tuesday evening she and Bill go see a marriage counselor while I babysit the girls here at my place for an hour and a half. The last time they were here Lisa asked me to sing and I did. Then, she sang to me songs she learned in chorus. I was very impressed. She really held her notes well and I always had a feeling about her musically. Even when she was a baby I felt she’d turn out able to sing even if she never took it as seriously as I do. She’s got definite potential. I’m no expert but I know my stuff well enough to know her voice can be developed when she’s older. Maybe she’ll do so at a younger age than I did. She has a concert on the 25th and I’m gonna go.

Speaking of feelings, well, last Thursday Tammy and I were gonna go to a group session to try to quit smoking. It’s $30 per person and she was gonna pay my fee till I could repay her. Early Thursday afternoon, the sixth sense kicked in and I called her. When she answered, I said, “Oh no, don’t tell me you can’t go.” She said no, we couldn’t go cuz she was short on the dough. She did say that this thing runs quite frequently and she’d let me know. After she hung up she probably thought to herself, she does have a little ESP after all, huh?

Well, I wish I could “feel” sleep, but I don’t.

In the NHA bulletin, it stated that there’d be a Norwich city police foot patrol in Oakwood Knoll beginning today. I know I’m destined to make some cop friends, but I’d really like a nice-looking lady cop to entertain and be entertained by when she’s bored and nothing’s going on. With all the corrupt cops, though, whose badges go to their heads, I certainly do hesitate. God would never bless me with such luck anyway.

Now, to speak of probation officers. I finally got a letter from a Celia (my new probation officer) to meet with at city hall on the 20th at 11:00. From what I was told about her, she was a Norwich city cop for 4 years, is the senior probation officer and appears gruff on the outside, but she’s not. She won’t take no shit from anyone but is a nice person.

Later...

I’ll just start off by saying I’ve only had 1½ cigarettes since 6 AM. I am still determined to try to break completely free of it. I’ve been using this new patch you stick on called Habitrol and it helps to a degree. I did have to fight off urges every other 5 minutes all day, though, and I hope and I pray it’ll get to the point where I can easily escape the urges. Also, they’re few and far between.

I also want desperately to get off the Theodur cuz of the gas it causes me and the way it makes me so bloated. It also constipates me here and there like the Navane did. I want to be completely drug-free with the exception of coffee. I want to hardly ever need to see a doctor other than a yearly check-up. I want to sing without coughing. I want to wake up not feeling like I’m gonna die.