Tom’s cold has set in. Hopefully, he’ll be better soon.

I’m still doing well with my teeth.

The pre-cramps are back. I had a few today, a few 2 days ago and a lot 3 days ago. Well, this half-woman will surely be ragging soon enough. If I rag on Wednesday, that’ll push me further into phase 3. So, let’s see, phase 1, when he didn’t cum at all, lasted about 3 years. Phase 2, where he cums once or twice a month, lasted about 6 months. Phase 3, where I can see that I’m sterile by not conceiving, will last forever and I’ll be deeper into it with each passing year. I need to go as deep as I can go to continue to help get me through this and move on however I can and even if it does mean a new curse. Due to being totally sure I’m sterile, I do hope for my period on Wednesday, to push me deeper into that final phase.

Got another message from Marla. She says she’s paying for that trip to Hawaii with a cold. That’s something God would do - let someone win a trip, then compensate them with a cold.

Looks like they just went to bed next door. There were lights on about 10 minutes ago and I thought I heard him rummaging through his car, but now the lights are off. I hope they stay the way they have been and don’t turn up the music and throw a few parties from May to September like they did before.

Anyway, Marla didn’t have much to say. She did ask me how I could be fine after having wisdom teeth pulled. She said she had all 4 of hers yanked when she was 17 and that she suffered for months and that childbirth was easy compared to that. Really?! I thought nothing was more painful than childbirth. Well, it sounds like her wisdom teeth were impacted.

I began drawing a new round of envelopes for Jenny. I usually do 5 at a time.

Almost down to 4 more days left till I get my best friend who loves me sooo much and who’s ever so faithful and dependable. Even though I’d prefer to get it on Wednesday, I may get it early cuz physically I’m really, really PMSing. The fucking scale said 106 earlier cuz I’m so bloated. If I hit 110, I’ll starve myself.

Shall I pray to God for my period so I can feel loved by him? Nah, I know he really hates me. Also, there’s nothing to pray for. My periods are inevitable. Totally etched in stone.

Once again Tom contradicted himself. When I had that spot attack, he told me he’d have been a bit concerned if my period hadn’t been different in some way. Oh yeah? Well, this is news to me cuz I asked him earlier if he’d be worried if all my periods had been normal since he began getting off and his answer was no. Not at this point.

Trust me - 10 years from now, he’ll still say everything’s fine - we just haven’t hit it right yet.

On January 1st, I’m gonna begin working out again, and am gonna stick to it no matter how boring it is.