Oh, I’m soooo pissed! I’ve had it with next door. I mean, I have totally reached my limits with them and their shit! I am not, and I repeat not, gonna take it anymore!

To start at the beginning: I don’t know if it was next door, even though I wish to hell I did know, but somebody went blasting by at 8:30 last night at a volume that was totally unacceptable. I didn’t hear a car door after the music died off, which isn’t totally abnormal, believe it or not, and there were no lights on, but having no lights on doesn’t mean shit, either.

Then just a little while ago, their fucking dog, which can be worse than the other two, wouldn’t shut the fuck up and it echoed through every single goddamn room like you wouldn’t believe. You can hear it really well anytime, but the reason it was horrendous just now was cuz it’s 2:00 in the goddamn morning, first of all. Also, we have single-paned windows, a block wall a few feet away from the house (where the dog is) that funnels sound really well, and pipes connected inside the wall heater vents that go to the outside. If you stick your ear to these vents, you can hear soft sounds from further away that you wouldn’t normally hear if you were away from the vents and if these sounds were louder and closer.

The point is this - if I hear any more music or barking that’s either too much or too loud or at ridiculous hours (and I don’t care that I’m up at night half the time), I’m gonna be over there so fucking fast that they won’t even know what hit them. I mean it! I’m literally ready to kick ass here and I know they had to have heard me screaming at them like I just did out back by where they sleep, (which is in back on the side next to who’s next to them) and I know this will bring back the music and I know I’ll then be kicking their asses. I’ve had it with them and their noise and I’m in for no more bargains or deals with either them or God. I don’t owe them shit! I don’t owe God shit, either, and they better shut up from now on, or else I’ll make these fucking freeloaders wish they were never born. No way will I be screaming out back next time. Next time I’ll be at their door. I’m just so fucking pissed, that my mind’s gone blank. All I can think about is smashing them and their dog right now.

Tammy’s not gonna be sending the CD which is fine with me, cuz I don’t really care for any of the songs on it, but I’ll explain all that later.

I went online, after trying to get in for 20 minutes, and in my parents’ message, they said they’d go online to chat with me at 11:15 their time. Now, I thought that meant tonight, but after thinking about it, I realized they could’ve been talking about last night. Oh well. We’ll chat soon enough. Also, they’ve sent a package to us and it’ll be here probably Saturday or Monday.

I still can’t remember everything I wanted to write about. I am so fucking sick of them and all the fucking neighbors that have totally disrupted my life and whatever I’ve been doing and this is it! If I hear anything ever again that doesn’t roll over well enough with me, it will be the last time. I wish they’d come to my door right now.

This has been the timidest GP I’ve ever had. Tom thinks that maybe he was taken away from his mother too soon. He’s just slowly starting to loosen up, though, and he’s starting to softly chat when I pat him. When he’s out of the cage with me, he’s perfectly calm, but when I walk up to him when he’s in the cage and not in his burrow, he runs into his burrow. However, the last time I walked by while he was out nibbling on pellets, he didn’t run and hide.

I’m just so pissed off at God too, and his “life has to be unfair” rule. I didn’t do anything to these assholes. I don’t bother them with my noise or with noise from my pets or music. Is the dog noise that God’s stuck on me cuz of how I’d mistreated animals in the past (if what I did could be considered mistreatment since the story I was told happened when I was really little)? Is the music God’s stuck on me cuz of neighbors I’d bother with mine, like Grace D on Woodside Terrace and Hank P on Oswego Street? But what did I do for the sterility? Who’d I sterilized to deserve that?

I hear the scumbags rustling around in the carport right now. Why don’t they just take the fucking dog in the house? Why doesn’t anyone take their dogs inside their fucking houses?

Well, this mutt seemed to arrive at the same time that asshole moved back in (meaning maybe it’s his), so hopefully he and his dog will just get the fuck out and I won’t have to waste my time setting him permanently straight when I could be doing other things. They say once broken up, always broken up. In other words, the stats on “trying again,” aren’t very good. That’d be just too good to be true, though; him, his car doors, his company, his dog, and his music moving out for several months again. I wish, though! Like I said, it’ll be over soon. Finally! I should have put my foot down last year, but now that they know the dog’s given them the reaction they wanted, they’ll go back to the music, I’ll take care of them, and then it’ll be over and done with for good.

The only thing that makes no sense is - why did she seem so nice to me when she came and got the flowers? Maybe it’s not her, but it’s him. Hey, why not? Males have always been the bulk of most women’s problems, but she doesn’t have a car, so she’s never blasted me out and she doesn’t slam car doors and maybe this really isn’t her dog. The door slamming didn’t start till they got the dog and he came back, too, all at the same time and I’m all the more convinced that this isn’t the same woman from when they first got here. The woman at first seemed very hateful and like she just didn’t give a damn at all. I could’ve sworn I once even heard her say “I don’t care,” when I gave them their first “please shut up” note, then came right in and went to the window by where they were standing. On the other hand, Tom says this bone-thin woman has always lived there. Tom denies it, but I say he worships neighbors, so who knows for sure what he’s seen? He’s changed his stories before on what he’s seen. He tried to tell me he didn’t know who it was cuz he didn’t pay attention when he saw him and the kid the other day. He was in a position to see them clearly as they got out of their car, but I was still in the car, waiting for him to open the garage door, with my view blocked by a tree. If he doesn’t know and doesn’t pay attention, then why has he been able to recognize him in the past? And how could he know this thin woman has always lived there?

So, why would the motherfucker go into his car at this hour, if not to spite me? To get a gun out of his glove box in fear of me and what I may do? Or to shove the dog into the car? Or to get something to put the dog in?

Later...

I did a totally different setup of Teddy Bear’s cage. Tom said it’s the best I’ve ever done. In the living room, there are 3 plastic stackable shelves. I took one and placed it at the back of my worktable, which would be right next to the aquarium. The self’s as high as the bass of the newest cage (the one with the floor tube). Then I set up Mary’s little cage on the shelf and ran 3 straight tubes to the newest cage. So, instead of building upwards, I’ve expanded out. It’s about 4’ wide now, instead of 4’ feet tall or higher.

I wish Teddy Bear was more of an explorer who used all parts of his cage. Once he picks the tube area he wants to sleep in, he never uses any other tubes unless he has to pass through them to get to where he sleeps. Once again, it’d be nice to have 1-2 more gerbils or even hamsters.

I can’t wait to see what I’m in for as far as the music goes tomorrow. With my luck, they’ll blast in when Tom’s here and awake so I can’t do anything about it yet. I promised Tom I wouldn’t deck them or really let them have it in any serious way. It’d be so frustrating if they did that while he was here and up! The more I don’t do anything about them, the more they’re gonna think they can get away with shit till I fight back and take action. Tom said that if I heard the music once, went over there and did something, it wouldn’t be only once. 

Wrong!

My tits, which had amazingly begun to improve a couple of weeks ago, are now killing me. It’s gonna be another early and fierce period.

I’ve decided that if Tom’s gonna insist I’m perfectly fertile, and that he’s gonna keep holding back, keep trying to instill patience in me, and that God doesn’t hate me, and that it’s OK for a woman to choose when she’ll have a child, then I’m gonna join in this little game with him. I’m not gonna not really want a kid that bad or be as scared as he is, though. I’m scared, but I wouldn’t have been afraid to go ahead and get pregnant anyway if he and God had allowed it.

Tom’s not gonna tell me what I want to hear, therefore, it’s time I told him what he wants to hear. The only difference is, is that I know I’m right about being sterile. He on the other hand, also knows we won’t have a child, not cuz of sterility, but cuz he won’t allow that to happen. He thinks I’m OK, though.

I left him a message saying that since he thinks it’s OK for a woman to choose when to have a child, and since he thinks I’m OK and stand just as good of a chance as any other woman, and God doesn’t hate me, I’ve decided to choose to wait till I’m 33-35 to have a child. Good things are supposed to come to those who wait, I also told him. Right?

Anyway, I’m just not gonna let his denial of my sterility and his fear of finding out if I really know what I’m saying, then having to deal with whatever does happen, get to me anymore. Nor am I gonna let his forcing me to wait on him get to me, either. So, year after year, I’ll just say I just want to wait a little longer. I don’t want to do this just for self-help, but for another reason, too. There’s nothing I can do to deny the fact that this is mainly God’s doing. He is the one who not only made sure I was sterile but who also has hexed just about every sexual experience I’ve had with anybody and who’s using Tom to ensure the reality of the sterility and to continue the hexing of the sex. However, my husband also has a part, even if it’s a much smaller part, in controlling my life and my body and my right to choose to have a child and I don’t want to be bitter or resentful of him about this when I’m 60. If I tell myself every few years that I’m just not ready yet and that it’ll do me good to wait and make me appreciate the kid even more, I just may end up believing this.

From the autobiography journal:

One of my mom’s traits I admired was:

That she was her own woman. My mother refused to let her husband control her or tell her what to do. She stood her own ground, and when she had something to say - she’d say it.

If I had any trouble with my mom growing up, it was in this area:

My mother was impatient, negative, and very hurtful a lot. She would often be very controlling and not allow me to be myself. She could be very hard to talk to and was not very supportive and encouraging.

One of Dad’s traits I admired was:

His sense of humor and his more passive and more tolerant ways.

If, growing up, I had any trouble with dad, it was in this area:

He would sit back as if oblivious to my mother’s mental abuse, and not step in to help.

I remember getting into trouble with my parents on this occasion:

Where do I begin! It was usually over not doing well in school, telling lies by saying I knew famous people, and due to wanting to be a famous singer myself. At this time, I really couldn’t sing very well at all. My vocal abilities stopped at the pitch. I had no strength, vibrato or timing. And my breathing and vowels were all wrong back then.

This is how we usually ate dinner as a family:

At the kitchen table. And I had to eat every bite, too!

A habit I picked up during my early years was:

Sitting on the floor rocking to music.

My parents felt strongly about passing on these lessons:

Neatness, thinking/planning before acting, and saving money.

This person in my family was more serious than the rest:

That’s a toss-up between my mother and my sister.

This person in my family was funnier than the rest:

My brother.

This present I got from my parents really sticks in my memory:

The guitar lessons that were my Chanukah present right around my 13th or 14th birthday.

What I remember about my first trips to the hospital:

In Boston, MA I had plastic surgery on the ear I was born without. I’d wake up from each of the 15 operations I had and puke. I was also very sick with pneumonia and was hospitalized in New London, CT.

One of my most memorable toys was:

My little Victrola that I’d play records on.

This is how my family celebrated Christmas or Chanukah:

Usually next door at my maternal grandparents’ house.

This is what we usually did at Thanksgiving:

Ate turkey, and had family and friends over if we didn’t go to another family member’s house.

I want you to know this about my grandmothers:

That my mom’s mom was a lot like my mom. My dad’s mom was much easier to talk to and get along with.

I want you to know this about my grandfathers:

I never knew my dad’s dad, but mom’s dad was a lot like my dad.

If I remember anything about great-grandparents it is this:

I never knew them or heard anything about them.

The country or countries my ancestors came from were:

I’m not sure. NOTE: Learned in 2010 or so that my grandfathers came from Russia and Austria.

My hairstyles and natural color growing up were:

Long and brown. I wore it down, with my sides pulled back, or in braids and ponytails. I had no bangs and it was all one length and parted in the middle. Back then I liked colored ribbons and hair bubbles.

My family’s first radio/TV set was in the year…One of my favorite radio/TV shows was:

I’m sure my family got their first radio and TV as soon as they were available. I liked WHYN AM when I was really young, as far as the radio goes. For shows, I liked: The Bionic Woman, Charlie’s Angels, and Little House on the Prairie.

In the afternoons after school I used to:

Go into the woods behind our house or out in the snow sledding, if it was winter. Or I would do homework, get together with friends, or go to the Jewish Community Center.

Games I liked to play as a child and youth were:

Pretend games, Barbie dolls, cards, guessing games, and spying.

What I liked about my siblings was:

Not very much. My brother was fun to be around, but my sister was a jealous bitch, who’d cut me down.

People described me as a child in this way:

A little monster. I was a very rebellious and hyper child, with a wild imagination and plenty of tall tales to tell.

We had these pets:

Poodles, birds, guinea pigs, gerbils, fish and land crabs.

This person significantly influenced my life growing up:

Until I went out on my own, I didn’t really have anyone influence me positively. Most of my influence growing up came from my mother. The bulk of it was not positive.

My best friend during childhood was:

Jenny C.

I admired this friend because of the following talents:

She was daring, courageous, and outspoken.

I was generally popular or unpopular because:

The things that made me popular, were usually my sense of humor and my wild laugh. The things that made me unpopular were that I was a bully and a liar.

I helped a friend greatly on this occasion:

I would listen to Jenny talk about her alcoholic mother and spend time with her.

This was a particularly dangerous thing I did with a friend:

I didn’t do anything I’d call dangerous, but Jenny and I smoked pot and would drink wine. The wine made me ill to my stomach and the pot made me dizzy and disoriented.

I remember well this birthday party I had with my friends:

No particular birthday party stands out in my mind, but as a child, I’d have 15-20 kids from school over for cake, ice cream, and games.

I wanted this person to be my friend but the feeling was not mutual:

I’d have to say that was Cindy F. I don’t know why I wanted her friendship so bad in 1st grade, but she never wanted mine.

I had a childhood crush on this person:

Kate Jackson and Linda Ronstadt.

A memorable adolescent sweetheart was:

No one that I can think of.

What my friends and I liked best to do together:

Go roller-skating, to the movies, and be little pranksters.

If my parents had only known! I did this forbidden thing with my friends:

With Jenny and Jessie, I smoked pot, and stole candy and cigarettes.

I really enjoyed this grade in elementary school:

I never really liked school, so I have no grade that I really enjoyed.

One of my most memorable teachers in elementary school was:

Rose M, Linda M and Joan B.

I had a lot of fun with this subject in elementary school:

Art, music and gym.

I had some trouble with this subject in junior high or high school:

Math, English and social studies.

I really enjoyed this junior high or high school grade:

I didn’t enjoy any grade, but I’d have to say that grades 8 and 9 were the best of the “real schools.”

One of my most memorable teachers in junior high or high school was:

Mrs. B and Mike M.

I liked this subject a lot in junior high or high school:

Music, art, gym, typing, and science.

When I was very young, I thought I would be this when I grew up:

A singer, and possibly an actress, too.

If I didn’t graduate from high school it was because:

I graduated in ‘84.

This is why I did or did not go to college:

I took some sign language courses but never had any desire to go to college long-term.

If I attended college, one of my strongest memories was:

I was the only one who knew sign language and not just a few words, so I became the teacher’s assistant during classes.

This is one of the most important things about life I learned in school:

That the world isn’t as kind and as easy to deal with, as we’d like to think.

This is how I got to school each morning in my early years:

Mostly by bike or walking.

One of my earliest memories about school was:

That I didn’t really like it.

These were my favorite sports in school:

Gymnastics.

One of my favorite kinds of homework was:

Anything quick and easy.

My elementary and high schools could be described as: (small/large, public/private, academic/vocational…)

I guess all of the above, except for large. I also took a course in manicuring.

My teachers generally described me as this kind of student:

One who didn’t give a damn. And who’d rather sit and daydream than pay attention.

My religious training growing up was:

None really. I believe my parents are now much more open-minded, but as a child, they believed I should have a Jewish husband, whereas I believe in love and not labels. It’s who the person is and not what they are. I also believe kids can learn more by learning about 2 religions if both parents aren’t of the same religion.

My favorite mentor-role model in college or trade school was:

This doesn’t apply to me since I only took a few 10-week courses.

What I enjoyed doing most after school was:

Listening to music and fantasizing.

I remember these chores growing up:

Cleaning my room and keeping it neat and organized.

My first job for pay was:

As a housekeeper in a hotel.

I enjoyed this particular work assignment:

The mindlessness of some cleaning tasks.

I took care of this person or persons growing up:

I didn’t take care of anyone in particular, but my dad’s mom had a stroke and came to live with us. We all helped her in any way we could.

I remember this about my mother’s work and responsibilities:

Retail

I remember this about my father’s work and responsibilities:

Exterminating

I hated this particular work assignment:

Cleaning my room and my guinea pig’s cages.

This is the profession that I often mentioned when people asked me what I was going to be when I grew up:

A singer.

I disliked this responsibility/work growing up but it has proved to be very helpful to me as an adult:

Cleaning and organizing.

This is what war meant to me growing up:

It was a scary thought to know how much hate we have in the world and how intolerant people could be of those who are different. It also made me sad and angry.

I liked this kind of music and these musicians growing up:

My favorite singer - Linda Ronstadt. Favorite music - disco.

The clothes fashions of my childhood were:

Geeky!

Some favorite actresses/actors:

Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith, Farrah Fawcett, Lindsay Wagner, Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon.

I remember when these technological advances were made:

Microwaves, VCRs, and CDs.

My parents felt this way about politics:

Don’t know.

“My world” consisted of these geographical areas:

Massachusetts, Connecticut, and a few trips to New York and Texas. I’ve been through all the New England states, lots of the southern ones. I did not enjoy my stay in Vermont and Maine.

For a while, I thought I would marry this person, but didn’t:

I never thought I’d marry anyone till I married my husband Tom.

My first serious romance was with:

My husband Tom. I can’t call my previous so-called romances anything other than settlements or jokes.

I regrettably lost touch with this family member after we grew up:

I can’t say I regret this, cuz it just happened - but I didn’t speak to my brother from 1986-1993.

I kept this secret from almost everyone:

I can’t say I have any secrets I’ve kept from most everyone cuz there’s nothing really downright “secretive” about my life, so to speak, but my husband knows me best of all. Runner-up to him would be my best friend Andy.

One of my mom’s strongest characteristics was:

She’s domineering:

One of my dad’s strongest characteristics was:

He’s a calm person, who’s a good listener and who’s funny.

This issue caused a great rift between me and my parents:

Again, I don’t know where to begin, but I’d have to say that our greatest rifts were over our different views and ways.

We reconciled after this happened:

We didn’t really reconcile until we began to open up and express ourselves to each other more. It’s unfortunate we didn’t communicate as well earlier cuz I think it’d have avoided more problems and sometimes you must work out the past, in order to move on.

My hairstyles and hair colors these years:

I dyed my hair red and black a few times years ago. It’s not dyed now and Arizona has lightened it up a bit, but I have bangs and it’s still brown, thick, long, curly and to my butt, but with gray coming in.

The story about how I became engaged is:

My husband and I were neighbors, then he got a house and then I moved in. Although we had a few shaky moments in the beginning, we each knew it was right and that we were soul mates.

I remember my wedding well:

We had a wonderful wedding in Vegas. We chose to go it alone, so as not to have to deal with the hassles or guests at a bigger wedding. We wanted to just be by ourselves and go straight from the chapel and on with our honeymoon gambling in the casino.

This is how we decided how many children to have:

I think Tom would prefer two kids (or so he says), although one suits him fine. I decided on one kid simply cuz one’s enough and that way, sibling rivalry/fights are nothing we’ll have to deal with. However, I am sterile, so a child isn’t in our cards. My husband thinks it is, though, and that we’ll have twins.

I remember the birth(s) of our child(ren) well:

Given the fact that I don’t have a child - I’ll simply have to guess on these child-related questions. I would hope I wouldn’t have been too small and needed a C-section and could’ve had it the natural way. I think the birth would’ve been scary, painful and beautiful and exciting.

Some of the things I loved doing with my family were:

My family, which is my husband, is who I enjoyed being with, talking with, having sex with and seeing him be happy.

This was a particularly memorable vacation with my loved ones:

Our wedding in Vegas, driving through the tip of California and going to Laughlin, Nevada.

This health problem was very scary for my family:

The asthma attacks I had back east, my father’s heart problems, my brother-in-law’s lymphoma, my father-in-law’s cancer, and my mother-in-law’s stroke.

This was a serious accident I remember:

When my brother and nephew were in a trucking accident and my nephew died.

We had these pets:

Guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, mice and pigeons.

My parents played this kind of role to my children:

I hope they’d have played a typical one.

This is the part of my parenting I am particularly proud of:

I think I would’ve been most proud of how I’d always let the child know it could come to me with anything and be itself.

This is the part of my parenting where I think I could’ve done better:

I think I would’ve had to work on my patience.

My brother(s), and/or sister(s) and I acted this way toward each other:

My sister and I used to be negative and not supportive of each other, but we’ve outgrown this and have moved on to being able to get along better and being able to confide in one another.

My brother and I can talk to each other and we joke a lot.

My best friend after I left home was:

Jenny C - then Andy M.

These people were my best friends in my middle years:

Jenny C, Jessie S, Andy M, Bob P, Kim C, Jai Z, Stefan H, Paula B, Fran P, Kevin T (Nervous), and Emily B.

True friendship to me means:

Being there for each other through the good and the bad. Acceptance.

This person helped to save my life:

In a lot of ways, my husband saved my life and my sanity. If it were not for him - who knows what would’ve happened when I needed ear surgery.

I remember this embarrassing incident with a good friend:

I cannot really remember any embarrassing incidents with a friend. However, after I lost 40-50 pounds, and hadn’t gotten smaller underwear yet, and was wearing a dress one day in downtown Springfield, I was embarrassed when I slowly began to walk out of them. I managed to jump into a deserted alley, step out of them, and shove them in my pocketbook.

One of the ways I liked to entertain guests was:

Don’t entertain enough to answer.

When I think of compassion and goodness I think of this person:

My husband.

One big misunderstanding I’ve had with a friend was:

I’ve had so many in the past with Andy, as well as others that I wouldn’t know where to start.

I learned to take myself less seriously through my friendship with:

My husband says - no one.

I have always felt that this person betrayed me even though I was always loyal to them:

My mother and sister.

This is the sport I most enjoyed:

Figure skating and gymnastics.

The activity that my friends and I most often engaged in was:

Prank phone calls, talking, cards, driving around, doing music-related stuff.

A very difficult educational experience for me was:

That life and people are often hard, cruel and unfair.

These are the kinds of books I enjoy reading most:

Supernatural suspense.

One book that had a very strong impact on me was:

A book on child abuse (mental, physical and sexual).

One of my favorite magazines in my middle years was:

Word find puzzles.

The subject(s) I always wanted to learn more about but never did:

Motherhood.

A year in which I learned a lot of new skills was:

Beginning at 21 (became a fairly decent singer, started to draw, learned more Spanish, became a fluent signer, and learned more about life/people).

The way I liked best to learn was:

As quickly and as easily as possible.

My involvement in religion as an adult was:

None really. I just think everyone should have their own ways/beliefs and not try to push their ways/beliefs on others.

This was an area I was able to teach well to others:

Don’t be afraid to be yourself and speak your mind. Do what you want with your life and not what others think you should do. Don’t do something cuz it’s common, uncommon, important, or high paying - Do it cuz you want to (if fate will allow it).

One thing I regret that I never got to explore:

Motherhood. More 1-niters with more feminine women before I met Tom, although this was something I regretted at that time. And that I couldn’t be a singer. Besides motherhood, I regret not being able to quit smoking and get on a schedule. I also wish I could say I’ve been exercising every day for years.

The accomplishments I am most proud of are:

Coming to Arizona, getting married, developing my voice and drawing. Learning computers, too. Losing weight years ago.

I really liked working with this person:

Norah M. Even though she could be rude and insensitive - she was this gorgeous woman from England.

Things I liked about my work included:

I’d say my favorite job was when I was an exotic dancer. I liked being able to dance to music all night. You can’t do that with most jobs.

I strived to be this kind of worker with these qualities:

To be on time and do my best.

Some household chores I enjoyed and some I didn’t:

I don’t mind dishes and laundry, but dusting and vacuuming sucks.

If I could have changed the balance between work, family, and play I would have done so in this way:

I’d balance things so my husband and I could have more time together and more sex if I could.

The values I adhered to as an adult were:

Live life, be myself, stand my ground, but try to avoid unnecessary conflicts. Try not to assume too much or give up trying for my goals, even if they take years to achieve and even if I think I’ll never succeed. Have self-respect and stand up for myself by putting up my fists and defending myself if I should God forbid be faced with an attacker.

Favorite hobbies:

Singing, drawing, writing, reading, computers and listening to music.

Places I’ve worked:

Hotels, bars, cleaning houses, babysitting and a few other odds and ends.

Things I disliked about my work included:

As a housekeeper - I got a lot of backaches and lousy pay. As a dancer - I got sore feet and hated to pay too much of my earnings to bouncers, bartenders and DJs, cuz of cheap owners who were supposed to pay them themselves.

These are the presidents I voted for:

None, cuz they’re all quacks, just trying to show off and gain popularity.

The clothes fashions I wore as an adult:

I used to dress conservatively, then non-conservatively. Now I like a mix of both, but nothing overly conservative.

Favorite actresses/actors/singers:

Marlee Matlin, Jenny Seagrove, Linda Ronstadt and Gloria Estefan.

I traveled outside my local environs to:

I traveled to Florida, which was so-so. After moving to Arizona, I traveled to Nevada and California and had a blast.

One of the national news events that most fascinated me was:

I was appalled by the Oklahoma City bombing and by all the innocent children and adults who were killed. I was also appalled by the not-guilty verdict of O.J. Simpson who so obviously killed his wife and her friend, only to get away with it all cuz he was rich, famous, and male. I'm sure the race card he played helped as well.

This event raised my understanding of the larger world outside my immediate surroundings:

The events I wrote about in the last question, increase my belief that we live in a sick, cruel, dangerous and unfair world.

Later...

Yup, it’s spite time alright. A half-hour ago I heard a couple of slams and just a few seconds ago, I heard a weird buzzing sound. It was only for a few seconds and I couldn’t tell what the fuck it was, but that’s OK. There’s gonna be a time soon enough when they’re gonna fuck with me with the music when he isn’t here. Then they’re dead.

Later...

No, they didn’t take their dog inside like I had hoped. I know someone was out there after I yelled out back, but what the fuck were they doing if they didn’t go out to take the dog in?

Meanwhile, something’s gotta be done on my part. I mean, this shit has absolutely got to stop. I just can’t and won’t take anymore.