I slept just fine and got up at 10 PM, so there should be no problem with shopping and the library on Monday, and with my 4:00 teeth appointment on Tuesday.

Speaking of teeth, Tom wants me to have them give me laughing gas, even though he knows all I need is Novocain. I asked why the sudden change and desire for me to use the gas and said it was just cuz of how dental work makes him nervous. Then why didn’t he ask me to use the gas before? Anyway, I told him I’d tell the doctor to give it to me.

Typical Andy. I knew he wouldn’t get his money and drop off the journals last evening, but at least he didn’t keep me waiting 4 hours for a visit while I put off listening to music so I could hear the door, etc. He left a message saying he’d get it Wednesday afternoon whether or not I could be available. He also said he didn’t want to just leave me the two journals and that he wanted to add to my belated birthday present and buy other stuff.

I was almost right on when I said the freeloader would split again at 11:00. It happened at 11:20, actually, but I’d never have known it if I didn’t happen to be looking out the window to see if I could see who was mowing at the time, cuz that’s how much quieter even the door slamming has been. I’m thoroughly amazed that there’s been no music, but in time there will be. Old times have a way of returning with this fuck that’s as guaranteed as my shortness.

Now I just have to hope to hell that tomorrow’s as quiet. You never know around here.

Now for some good news before I get to more bad news. I’m just beginning to teeter just under the 125-pound marker, so it looks like the Slim-Fast diet plan and God are working just fine so far. As they say, though, I shouldn’t exceed losing more than two pounds a week. That can be bad for you and you’ll be more likely to put the weight back on too, after you lose it. So, if this keeps on working, we’re looking at my not hitting 100 pounds till June. I hope I don’t reach a plateau when I’m around 110-115 where I just can’t seem to budge my weight any further down, cuz that could happen and it’s not uncommon.

OK, the bad news now, and yes, I do blame God or at least something up there. This is a classic example, too, of what I mean by how fucking with fate can make things worse.

As I said before, Tom took Ma’s car to have its oil leak fixed. I thought to myself, Great. This way we can have more time together and get other things done, but nope, God’s just determined as all hell not to let him out of having to fix the car himself, cuz they did fix the oil leak, but in doing so, they fouled up 3 other things that Tom’s now got to fix. If Tom didn’t bring them the car to fix in the first place, he’d have just one thing to fix and not 3. See? It’s as if God’s saying, “You didn’t fix this yourself like I wanted you to, so now I’ll make matters even worse for you.” Anything to keep us away from each other a lot. It’s probably gonna be two weeks now before we can have some fun, cuz tomorrow will probably out. Next weekend will be spent moving Mom and with God acting like I’m fertile and that this isn’t the right time to have a kid (there’s never a right time for that what with how life’s one thing after another)! But that’s totally stupid. God can do anything. So why doesn’t he make sure he doesn’t cum if we screw at prime time, or ensure that no sperms meet the egg if it’s that important for him to control things?

Later...

I am without anything to read till Monday. Therefore, I’m trying to push myself to do my proofreading, but it ain’t easy.

The mice are starting to stink again, so I’ll clean their cages out when I get them their new toys, but at least it took a few days and not two minutes for them to start stinking up a storm again. I hope the store has all I want to get for them. Sometimes they’re not stocked up very well.

Another thing about my weight - well, it has to do with the subject of fate/vibes again. It’s just that I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I didn’t want to mention it or put any real stock into it. Usually, when I can’t picture or feel something happening, like with a child, it doesn’t happen. When I was around 118 pounds, I knew I’d be in the 120s. I just felt it and could see it happening and it did. However, I couldn’t really feel/see the 130s and fortunately, I still can’t, but this may not necessarily mean I’ll lose the weight. Right now it “seems” that I will, but things aren’t always what they seem, either.

I trimmed my bangs earlier with the attachment that you hook to the vacuum. It sucks your hair up through the hose, then cuts it after you’ve set it at the amount you want to cut.

I don’t hear the cats as much tonight, which is nice. Maybe they figured they’d quit while they were ahead so they wouldn’t get starved again, which would be smart of them. I don’t know what it is they do to create the racket that they do against the wall, but I’d guess they kick at it. If they start up, though, no matter how much it pisses me off and distracts me, I’ll just take it and not give them the reaction they want. They want to get chased and they like to get chased. They don’t even mind it when I manage to be quick enough to take a little swat at them, either. I asked Tom if he still doesn’t want to get traps and he said he didn’t want the hassles or to take them where they’ll be killed. Well, what about the hassles for me? And I’m sorry if they get killed, but I shouldn’t have to deal with some pain in the ass stray cats, either. And the HS, if they can’t find someone to adopt them out, doesn’t beat them to death. They put them to sleep and they don’t feel a thing. Starving them won’t get rid of them. It only pisses them off into chasing Bunny when I go out to feed him. They won’t let him eat if I don’t feed them.

What? Does he really think we will have a kid and does he really want that and is therefore trying to get me used to distractions? Hell, I get it all the time from the other animals, so what’s the point? He’s always seemed to enjoy or not mind when I get distractions. It’s like he’s trying to make me get used to it and deal with it. I don’t like it when I feel he’s trying to force ways on me, be it instilling patience in me, controlling the sex and anything related to that, etc.