Still no period, but still sure I’ll get one and that if I don’t, it’s not cuz of a child holding it up. It’d mean something was wrong, but maybe it’s tied into why I’m so fat. We did get together during mid-cycle, but if I remember right and if I’ve got my facts straight, he didn’t cum.

There’s only one thing I can think of that may be the cause, but it’s unlikely. As I may have mentioned, there was a time I got mad and hit myself really hard in the area of the ovaries and uterus. I was just really frustrated. But I think this was a few months ago, too. Tom doesn’t think it’d do anything, but if I did beat my plumbing and knock it out of service - great. As long as it doesn’t make me fatter than I already am (can’t seem to budge from bouncing between 123-125 pounds).

I changed the bird and later on, it’s the critters’ turn. Wish they were as quick and easy, but they take about an hour. Sometimes more.

Tom took down the old, ugly, bent rods that were in the bedroom to hold the tie-dye curtains I did, and he put up shades. They work so well at darkening any gaps that let in light within the blockers.

Today we’ll be putting up the living room window shade. We began to yesterday, but it wouldn’t quite reach. Tom’s gonna put a block of wood in to extend it.

While he was at the front window, he saw an APS truck working next door. He wasn’t there for long, though, but Tom said that maybe that was why he wasn’t there last night when he left for work. However, I could’ve sworn I saw him leave at 10:30 yesterday morning with the music at a somewhat obnoxious level. Maybe it wasn’t him, but Tom has a point that I agree with. He’s not allowed to be there, as we originally felt, and if our letters were brought to her attention, she just said he just visits. But they’re not gonna go inside the house to check for his belongings and evidence of his existence. They should, though. These stupid city people should realize by now just how much fraud goes on in these welfare programs and with the people on SS and SSI. Hey, do you think I’d have let them know I’d occasionally get $200 from my folks and shit like that? He’s not like I was, though. He’s not a good person who wants to do better. He’s a rude selfish fuck and I begged God to do justice and to see that he’s out of here, if he truly doesn’t belong.

Of all the houses in Phoenix, leave it to me to be the one next to a subsidized house. As if something wants something from my past to remain close by. Or to remind me of where I came from. Well, I certainly will never forget the projects I was in or any other place.

We went to the library and to Wal-Mart yesterday where I got a cute magnet with a cactus, some hangers, a few puzzles, a bathing suit, and two pairs of shorts. The suit’s hot pink. One pair of shorts is bright green, the other’s deep purple.

At the library, I got 3 more true crime books.

On our way home, he stopped at Arby’s and I stopped at KFC.

Later...

The freeloader was there last night. He slammed the hell out of his car door to let me know it too, as he left for work this morning. He hasn’t come in for lunch, so he’ll come in around 4:00, leave again at 6:00, and return an hour later.

It hit 90º today and we have the cooler going now.

Still no period. Something’s really wrong here and I’ve got to find out what it is if I don’t get the next period which would be due April 18th. Did my hormones suddenly go out of whack? Is it a cyst or some other kind of bad growth? Well, time will tell, but I still think that eventually, I’ll get a period. If God wanted to me have a hysterectomy, why now and not earlier in life? In other words, I don’t think something can be that wrong, and I don’t have bad vibes, either. I sometimes get what I guess you could call phantom cramps. I get really faint little cramps for a second here and there, making me think that maybe it’s kicked in, but then I wipe off no blood.

Yesterday was hot and we had the cooler on. And yes, the heat brought the freeloaders out. There was no music that I know of, but I could hear him talking to someone. I also heard some kid too, that sounded too old to be the little freeloader, so who knows? Maybe it was the house next to them with all those daycare kids and the guard dogs.

This heat worries me. I mean, it really puts a lot of stress on me and makes it hard for me to enjoy the upcoming summer and all that, cuz I know they’ll be out and about to spoil it. The good of the heat, though, is that it’ll be less likely that kids will use the basketball hoop.