Woke up at 113 pounds.

Andy’s being a pest again, but it’s OK. I’d want someone to be there for me if I were in his shoes. He’s basically just tired and totally worn out, even though he loves being so busy. Keeps his mind off of pot and loneliness. He’s also fed up with a couple of people at Red Lobster. Why doesn’t he just quit Red Lobster? Isn’t his job of refilling meds enough to support him so long as he stays clean? Anyway, he’s to be calling me soon to bitch about it.

I saw Tom for a minute when I got up. He was just on his way out the door and he told me he left a message for me. In his message, he said he was 1000% better. This was a fairly easy cold for him, which looks like I’m gonna be very lucky to escape catching. If I had just looked at him from a distance when he had a cold from 1989-1992, I’d have caught it.

He also said that there’s a good chance the dumpster will be delivered before he gets home, so if I want to, but it’s up to me, I can tell them to put it in the front driveway (he’ll park in the back driveway, and it’s a good thing we’re on the corner) and give them the check that’s on the fridge. Yes, I can competently handle that.

At first I thought, what kind of shit will our rude neighborhood kids throw in it? But it’s a dumpster. They can throw whatever shit they want in it.

It’s only been 2½ hours since I ate, and I am fucking starving! Doesn’t my stomach know it was so recently fed? Anyway, I’m having tea and coffee to put something in my stomach, but I don’t want to eat again till around 9:00 if I can help it. I try to eat just three times a day. When I get up, then 5 or 6 hours later, then for the last time 5 or 6 hours later. It seems that whenever I drop below 115 pounds, I get so damn hungry. My body just can’t take it anymore being under 115 pounds, but that’s OK, I’ll be back to 115 soon enough. I believe I’ll be 115 for a long time. Like many years.

After critiquing myself in the mirror, I’m still fortunate enough to have a nice ass. It’s gone soft and it’s cratered, but it’s small and it’s not sagging. My hips have gone down, but my stomach and thighs would still be disproportionately huge even if I were 90 pounds. I feel the same about this face. What happened to this face?! It’s bigger now at 113 pounds than it was when I was in the 130s years ago. Guess part of it is age.

Later…

Wow. That was quiet for the freeloaders. There are usually at least 4-5 door slams and some talking or yelling when they all leave in the morning, but this morning, all I heard was one soft car door, then the engine started up. Bill and Mistake will be back shortly, which is no big deal. I mean, there’s not a lot of door-slamming. Nothing could be as bad as the slamming I’d get from that cock when it’d park deep in the carport. Oh, God! I wanted to go out there and slam his head sooooo fucking bad! I almost did, too. Several times.

Speaking of slamming heads, I may have to do so for Andy’s sake, but I hope he can solve his own problems, so I don’t have to have the hassle of doing it for him. I’m sure he’ll take care of it himself. He always finds a way to. If my kicking ass is the only way to help him, I will, even though God will make me pay dearly for it. A couple of guys at work are saying mean, cruel, hurtful things to him. These guys are gay, so it’s not like they’re gay-bashing Andy. They’re just telling him he’s so ugly and jealous, petty, childish shit like that. Andy isn’t as intimidating and as aggressive as I can be, so to these guys, that’s an invitation to keep on doing what they’re doing. As I’ve learned, sometimes kicking ass is the only way to get someone off of someone’s case, so let’s just let them hope I don’t have to deal with them, cuz if I do, they certainly won’t be bothering Andy anymore.

It’s funny to hear him, though, cuz he talks to me just like I talk to Tom. He goes from subject to subject real fast and on and on and on, and most of the things he tells me are things he’s told me a million times already.

He told me about talking to Marla, other family members, Stevie Nick’s parents, and so much more. Then he thanked me for being there for him and for being such a dedicated friend.

He was telling me he doesn’t want conflict with people nowadays. He just wants to live life in peace. We were talking about karma, too, and how what goes around really does come around. At least it does for us, anyway.

Andy’s life may have changed very little in the last decade, but he’s become a better person in a lot of ways. Before, all Andy wanted to do was pick fights, cut people down, and he basically had no empathy whatsoever for others who were depressed or having problems of some kind.

Speaking of Marla, I’ve gone and left one more message (this is the second in several months) saying: Hi, I’m glad Andy’s pot-free and happier, we’re fine, hope you are too.

If I don’t get a reply, I won’t ever bother with her again, but if she’s got a problem with me, it’s too bad she can’t come out and say so. I don’t see how she could have a problem with me, though. I haven’t done anything wrong to her or anyone she knows, so I guess she’s just busy. She is a mom and she works too, and doesn’t really have a life. However, if she doesn’t want to contact me for any reason, that’s her choice and her right, and I don’t want to have contact with anyone who doesn’t want contact with me.

Anyway, Andy said he really wants to stick out Red Lobster. He’s there part-time, and he’s with the pharmaceutical company full-time. He doesn’t want to run from his problems, and he needs the extra money. It’s an easy job for $100 a week. He’s really quite fed up with restaurant work, though, cuz it’s so much like being in high school with all the gossip and cliques and people pitting people against others. Yeah, I know all about it. Knowing Dureen, Art, and their son, sister, brother-in-law, and others was like being in high school all in itself.

Thanksgiving is on the 26th. So, what will Miss Bitch and her sick associates do? Will it be like last Easter? Or will she and her wussy pussy boy toy take off somewhere? Although, they ain’t getting along very well right now from what I know. She still has her sick cronies that are just as low as she is, so since people that are assholes usually get along just fine with other assholes, they should have no trouble getting together somewhere. God, I’d have to hate myself and have absolutely no self-respect whatsoever to hang with that black bitch. I know that type of person and the types of people that hang with people like that. The bitch loves to shit on her friends and they love to shit right back on her. Not only do they love shitting on each other, but they love to get shit on by each other just as much. It’s sick. It really is!