I really hope a ball game isn’t about to erupt cuz I’d really like to write, although the air cleaner may drown it out well enough. Well, maybe not. The two kids I can see right now who are screaming at the tops of their lungs are playing badminton in the street. In the fucking street. That’s so fucking dangerous and stupid. These things should be played in their backyard. Fuck! Now here’s a boy with a basketball. Thank fucking God it’s getting dark out.

OK, I watched them for a few minutes and that was a Frisbee and not a basketball, but oh my fucking God! These kids, and now I realize that they’re the same ones that I saw playing in the middle of the street at night a few nights ago, are associated with the Lopezs. Tom said he guesses there are 3 kids in that household. No fucking way. These are definite Mormons. I know they do daycare, but I highly doubt that at 6 PM these kids are other people’s kids. There are at least 5 of them screaming in back and another 5 up front. They’re darting in and out of the street and they’re playing on people’s lawns within a 3-house span on both sides of the street. As soon as they hit our lawn, which they came close to doing, they’ll be hearing from me. What is it with kids playing in the streets and on other people’s lawns these days? When I was a kid I may have played next door on my grandparents’ lawn, but I never played on people’s lawns who I didn’t even know, and I didn’t play in the middle of the street unless I was on my bike, even though our dead-end street was pretty dead.

It sounds like they may have gone in. Now it’ll just be the dog’s noise for another hour or so. These people are really fucking lucky they’re not next to me!! Sometimes, though, with all the screaming and barking, they may as well be next to me. They were playing in next door’s yard. Why can’t they play in their own yard? Maybe because of the guard dogs, their space is limited in the backyard. I didn’t hear those dogs at all on Halloween night, and you know a pin dropping 8 blocks away will stir them up, so I’ll bet that if there’s one night a year they pull them in or at least muzzle them, it’s that night. Too many people out. Too much risk. Guard dogs aren’t like ordinary house dogs that protect just their territory. They want to go after you even if you’re not on their turf. So, it’s risky to leave them out with all the people walking by, even if they were walking by on the other side of the street. The dogs could still smell and hear them, and you wouldn’t want to have the dogs bust loose on that many people. I’m surprised they cared enough to pull the dogs in in the first place. They also probably figured all that loud barking would scare away the little trick-or-treaters. That’s if they gave out candy.

Thank God it’s getting darker later. It helps. Somewhat.

I wasn’t up this morning to see if the cock came for the bitch or not, but the end-of-the-day routine changed a bit today. At 3:00 a white car pulled in and out. I only saw the outline of someone in the driver’s seat, but that’s it. Then at 5:45 I heard car doors, but didn’t feel like looking out at that time.

Got an email from Kim and Evie.

Didn’t get my doll today. I’m so sick of waiting! Tom said, “I told you Tuesday would be more likely than Monday. With parcel post, it can just sit in a post office in the town it was shipped from for a week. That’s why they use parcel post. It’s cheaper.”

So it’ll get here not while I’m out, but while I’m asleep. I doubt I’ll be up before the mail gets here, but I could be. If not, though, he will be.

My weight was at an all-time low today at 111½. I could wear my jeans and jeans jacket again and it was nice to be able to fit into some things I couldn’t fit into for a while. I had a TV dinner and popcorn yesterday. Today I had a TV dinner, soup, and a small order of fries at the drive-through we stopped at, and later I’ll have some popcorn. This way I won’t be stuck for too long, but come tomorrow, it’s back to either having nothing or just a TV dinner.

Once again, I had to have seen at least 3 pregnant teens on the streets as we were going to and from Melanie’s. I may not want a child of my own, but this is sick! What have God and society come to? These kids should be in school. Not pushing their kids around in strollers on the streets. All blacks and Hispanics, as usual. Does anyone in their 20s or 30s have kids anymore? I kind of think 20s is too young, but I swear, if it’s not in your teens that you have kids, it’s in your 40s that you have kids. Teenage pregnancy is so fucking common now, that I’ll bet a teenager that doesn’t have a kid is considered an oddball.

It makes me wonder about Lisa. Is she gonna get pregnant any day now? It’d be the norm. Guess that depends on how closely God wants to shape our lives. There are a few things we don’t have in common, but not much. So, if she’s just like me on that issue, too, God won’t allow her any kids. I know Becky will be a mom, though. If any of those kids are destined for motherhood, it’s Becky. She looks like a mom already. She totally has the looks God likes for that.

Anyway, seeing Melanie went fine. Oprah came out and said hi to me as she went to get someone else before Melie came for me. She moved the bracket since that tooth’s moving down and over really well. Something just hit me - you have a retainer after you have braces on your upper teeth, but what about your bottom teeth? I don’t see how you could wear a retainer down there with the tongue in the way. Yeah, we talked about those bottom teeth. I asked her what she’d recommend, and she said she’d do it; get them straightened out. She said I wouldn’t have to come in all the time since this wouldn’t be trying to nudge an impacted tooth into place, and that it shouldn’t be as painful. However, I will have the irritation at the beginning that I had with the top teeth. I told her that’s a pretty high tolerance to put up with me for longer. She said I could start anytime with the bottom teeth if I want to, and that the kids she has to deal with really irritate her. They come in with 6 broken brackets cuz of eating the stuff she tells them not to eat. She lectures them about it, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Yeah, and I’m sure the parents do a good job of watching what their kids eat. They really care.

I asked her how many patients she has and she said she didn’t know.

So afterward I asked Tom if he felt she recommended it only for the money and he said no, cuz she gets paid a salary whether or not she sees me.

Anyway, now that I’m through the worst of the top teeth, I think I’ll tell her to get things going to nail the bottom teeth next time I see her.

This sure is the decade of fixing the things God fucked up on me, huh? I fixed the ear as best I could, the teeth, and I doubt I’ll fix the sterility, but I hope that Tom will cooperate enough so I can at least get tested. Again, though, I don’t see how they can refuse to test me just cuz he won’t let himself get tested, so I guess I should go in there with the attitude of not letting him stop me whether or not he chooses to participate. Only God can do that.

Later…

I’m going to be taking my tea into bed and read myself to sleep in a little while. I forgot to say that I woke up early today. I thought I wouldn’t fall asleep till close to sunrise, and therefore, it’d be a bitch to get up at 11:30 like I told to get me up by, but the Benadryl actually went back to knocking me out. I took one pill at 11:00 and by 12:30 I was out of it. I awoke at 8:30.

I want my doll tomorrow!!