Here’s a classic example of just how unfair life is: Tom and I lose money and time from each other and our lives to help his mother move and see that she’s taken care of for the remainder of her time, but who’ll be there for us when we get too old to fend for ourselves? No one. Absolutely no one.

I rearranged my little drawers last night. I have a set of parts drawers that I store my beads in for the most part, but I also added my sewing stuff to it, too.

The palm tree plant I got from Marge is in such a boring plant holder of brown wicker, so I decorated it with colorful beads.

I’m reading the other Ruby Jean Jensen book now called Night Thunder.

Andy shocked the shit out of me by actually going back to work. Good for him! I didn’t think he would. He said he hates the job for the most part, but he knows he has no choice. He’s alone now in that house and he has to work in order to live.

I totally understood something else he told me. So far, for this job, he’s keeping his mouth shut. Meanwhile, people are taking it the wrong way and considering him stuck up. See? People are just never fucking satisfied with the ways of others. They hate you if you talk, they hate you if you’re quiet. You talk too much, you’re obnoxious. You talk too little, you’re a snob. You talk an average amount, you could be anything! No one’s ever happy. I gave him the same advice, though, about not mixing business with pleasure, keeping quiet, etc., but I also reminded him that he’s not there to please others by talking less or more. He doesn’t owe anyone shit.

Paula left a message yesterday morning saying she just got home after being in jail for three days after being picked up on warrants. What warrants? I’m sure they had to do with fighting, but where’s Justin? Did they take him away? That’s a stupid question, though. You don’t take a kid away from its mother. Not in this country, anyway, no matter what they’ve done. I still can’t believe they took Robert from her, although they definitely did right by doing so. She shouldn’t have Justin either, and if you ask me, if a mother’s not fit to raise one of her kids, she’s not fit to raise the others. I tried calling her back but haven’t reached her yet.

Minnie’s tried calling five times. What is it that she’s so anxious to tell me all of a sudden after so long? Well, it can’t be that important, cuz she hasn’t left a message since the first message she left when she called the first time.

Later...

Guess who came today? Giselle. And of course, she was just about right on time too, since I’ve already got her. A part of me wishes I didn’t have Tom call to try to stop this one from coming, cuz although her side hairs are shorter than her back hairs, I could’ve evened them out for variety. It would’ve still been long. I also could’ve redressed her at some point.

Got only one call from Minnie today.

I finally heard from Kim. She sent me a brief but newsy email saying she was on a cruise for 11 days. If I could only take one more trip in my whole life, I’d want it to be a cruise, but not for that long. Just 2-3 days would be good enough for me. She said she plans on calling me soon. I just tried to reach her but got her machine. I’m looking forward to hearing all about this cruise. I guess she went with her grandmother, but I’m not sure. I don’t know why Walt didn’t go. Guess he had to work, being a dentist and all that.

I decided that instead of keeping a daily weight chart in my miscellaneous file, I’ll record my weight every five days.

I guess I’ve gotten used to the air fresheners since I’m home a lot. Tom says he smells them when he first comes into the house, then he gets used to them. I smell them, but not as much as I did at first.

Once again it’s gonna cool down to the low 70s and it won’t be back to the 80s till Monday. Since we’re gonna be moving this summer, I hope it’s a mild summer, but even a mild summer in Arizona is hot!

Later...

It’s been three hours and I’m still groggy as all hell from the Benadryl I had to take shortly after I got up.

The renters are being their usual strange selves. They’ve had the hood of the red car open for hours now. What work do these seemingly new and good cars need so often? Maybe they’re as hexed with cars as Tom is.

Another week and April will be here. I still worry that there won’t be enough time for Tom to prep this house. Imagine if we really could move in July or August or sooner, but couldn’t cuz he just didn’t have the time to prep the house in order to sell it? That’d really piss me off! A part of it wouldn’t be his fault, either. It’d be the fault of his boss mainly and probably his mother’s, too. My worst fear is that she ends up in the hospital right as we’re about to buy the land and sell this house. Or when we go to prep it. We’ve got about 40 hours’ worth of work to do, maybe more. Tom says it’s no problem, but I fear that for the zillionth time, he’s just overestimating himself. He says he’s gonna get going on the patio roof this weekend. I hope so!

I think Parker and Nickolena’s birthdays are coming up. I forget Parker’s birthday, but I remember Nickolena’s. She’s gonna be five yet it doesn’t seem she’s been around that long. I’m sure it must feel like ten years to Evie, though.

Once again, I find myself wondering why I wanted a kid like I did for a while there. Why would anyone want to put up with so much just to gain so little? Well, it’s better than that awful depression I went through. Crying day after day cuz I knew a child was 100% impossible.

Tom’s trying to tell me that the neighbors around where we’re moving to won’t be like these city animals and that they’ll be the same neighbors in 20 years. Maybe this is so for most people living out where we’re going. I know this is true, but I also know just what the Gods have ordered for me. How much do you want to bet that our nearest neighbor will be one of those few loud, selfish, rude, inconsiderate assholes that belong in cities? And if they are any good, they won’t be our neighbors for 20 years. They’ll move right out as soon as we get there and in will come a pack of bass-thumping freeloaders or a herd of screaming Mormons. Whether they’re white or black, there’ll be some kind of problem, but the idea is to get the bass far enough away from our house so that even if it’s turned up really loud, it can’t wake me up. Not till the stereos that can be heard from state to state get here. I’m not stupid. I know it’s just a matter of time - it may take ten years - before the noise catches up to our house.

We did it his way in this house with these neighbors, but I’m gonna tell you something right now. I promise this to myself, to him, to anybody that’d listen, we’re doing it my way with the next neighbors. As soon as they get close enough and loud enough to be a problem, I’m going after them myself in my own way. I’m not gonna ask the city or anyone else to take care of the problem for me. I don’t like to operate that way and have others fight my battles for me. So in other words, I’ll want to beat the living shit out of them and make sure that the first time they harass me is the last time.

Later...

Good, God! The renters are still working on their cars (the maroon one came to join the red one). They’ve been gunning the engine on one of them for several minutes now. They’ve been working on these cars now for six hours. Maybe they’ll wrap it up soon and go inside.