I couldn’t get into The Stalking of Kristen. Once again, too damn descriptive. I wanted to hear about what happened to her, not her whole life’s story. It’s like, who cares how she liked to decorate her bedroom? How about telling me about her shooting and what led up to it and all that? That’s why the damn book was written in the first place, wasn’t it?

So now I’m reading Gone in the Night. Another true story, but this one’s about a little girl who was abducted and murdered.

So far I’ve been right in saying Giselle wouldn’t arrive before today, and every day since we placed the order, I’ve strongly sensed she wouldn’t be coming. Till today. Today I don’t have a strong feeling she won’t come, but I don’t have a strong feeling she will come, either. What this means, remains to be seen. I still think the 10 days they claim it takes for people to get their orders is really 15 days. That’s how long it took not only for Maria but for the Ashton Drake dolls as well. Then again, didn’t Summer Dream take 21 days to get here? Anyway, if she doesn’t come today, then he’ll call them tomorrow. The day we ordered her, I did sense that this would be the day she’d come so hopefully she will. It’s just part of my shit doll luck, I guess, but at least I know she should be in OK condition. If she’d come really fast, maybe there’d have been a glitch within her.

I finally decided to see the doctor about the tightness I’ve been having. Of course, if there’s something she can do, I’ll just be swapping in one problem for another, but I get tired of struggling to breathe. Once again, if I’d known that things wouldn’t get all that much better if I quit smoking, I’d never have bothered, although it has helped tremendously with the wheezing. I’m virtually wheeze-free nowadays, but my nose and tightness haven’t changed a damn bit. I’m less congested too, but I still have to clear my throat at times when I sing. Anyway, I see the doctor tomorrow afternoon. After Tom gets off work and does the grocery shopping, we’ll go to a different used bookstore, then to the doctor.

If it wasn’t for the city, the fact that we’re moving, and the fact that my vibes tell me not to worry, I’d be totally stressing out over the weekend that’s right around the corner. Although my vibes are correct most of the time when it comes to them, I’d never have thought that they’d wake me up again. Well, I’ll think that and be 100% right on that one if they even think of waking me up again! Fucking blacks! Oh, how I’ve come to hate them! When we move, if I never see another black again, it’ll be too soon. I’m tired of the problems caused by them and Mexicans and of the shit they’ve caused me personally! From a rational standpoint, I’d be like, how can someone say skin color makes a person any better/worse? But after my personal experiences, I can tell you that skin color does make a difference when it comes to behavior. How many Hispanics have the class that Gloria’s got? How many blacks are like Steve (my neighbor on Woodside Terrace in Springfield)? One in tens of thousands is like them.

Tom told me when I got up at 12:30, shortly before he was to leave for work, that the living room plug-in wasn’t smelling as much. I had noticed this too, and that the back room one was weak, too. Maybe they shift in strength cuz now I can smell them just fine. What’s weird is that the living room one can be smelled best in the kitchen.

Now for some really cool news. For the longest time, I wished I could display a little picture of the written versions of the journals I wrote at the top of their typed versions. This word processor I use isn’t supposed to be able to show more than 16 colors. Every time we’ve tried inserting pictures in here, it always looked like shit. Totally unrecognizable. That all changed yesterday. Neither of us knows why. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I inserted a picture and it looked fine. So I went and scanned in all the journals and put pictures of them in their typed versions. I’ll put a picture of Gloria, Norah, a family picture, a pet picture, or something, at the start of each month of the journals that are done only on the computer. I went back to June of 98, which was when I started doing them only on computer, and inserted pictures up till this month.

Later...

Just made a lot of changes to the computer. I deleted stuff and added new stuff. Took some pictures of Katie, too.

Feelings of Giselle arriving today are now getting stronger. Hope I’m right!